29Washington, United States
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My self-summary
Sexy girl with charming personality and white teeth seeks to amuse herself with witty conversation and meaningless sexual encounters.
What I’m doing with my life
whoring myself for a big fat paycheck.

(Don't we all?)
I’m really good at
looking like I know what I'm doing.
making friends around the world...
The first things people usually notice about me
Medicated, drama queen, picture perfect, numb belligerence
Narcissistic, drama queen, craving fame and all its decadence
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
At the moment:
(a) On Tyranny by Timothy Snyder
(b) Note to self: must update movies.
(c) Anything but twangy Country/Western and frenetic jazz
(d) Avocados

Six things I could never do without
1. friends and family
2. my brain and body
3. the arts
4. sunshine
5. chocolate
6. world peace
7. sarcasm
8. my glock
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Maths for today - if 74 men looked at my profile, yet only two nicely messaged me, does that mean the other 72 were thinking, "damn, I was hoping she was a real slut. I had my tissues and hand(job) lotion all ready?"

A Trump presidency. America, you have just lost your mind. (As he said, "this election is rigged." This from the man that told people to go vote twice...)

HEY! If you say you're "available" that means cheater in my book. I don't care if you have a permission slip from your girl/wife. Also, it's a bit soulless and pathetic. If you're bi, move along. I don't want something that's been in you know where. Get that thing away from me. Obviously you have commitment issues. You're gay. Commit to that.

And you guys with no photo....get your shitogether. I don't want to talk to you and find out later that you have a hand growing out of the middle of your forehead. Some things are not best left to the imagination. Particularly since mine is running rampant.

How someone can really think this is attractive. It just conjures up a freaky Jeffrey Dahmer vibe:
"Haha I just read your profile and I want to fuck your brain. you are obviously a very fun person and it is a shame that you are very far from north carolina." Message from buttfister (which sounds like a painful anal condition.)

If you have "cum" or "sex(y)" or similar words in your profile name, I will be snickering at you. I will also be chuckling if your profile says you are "Sexperienced." It just means you were super horny when you answered the questions. Congratulations on making yourself sound like you spend hours polishing your knob.
On a typical Friday night I am
never where you think I should be.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
All my friends are heathens.

This still makes me chuckle...
From Tara080: "do you like doggie?"
Me: "Why? Do you need to go outside, Fido?"
You should message me if
You don't take yourself too seriously and you have a well developed sense of humor. A little sarcasm keeps you on your toes. Some people don't recognize it when they see it, however.

NEW! More weird emails from India - message from _inSearch from Delhi: Hiiii, While going through your profile and matching with my questions, i was asking myself.. is this the girl whom i am searching so long? Did I get my match? should I have to stop searching now? Well I don't Know the answer of all these questions until I get your reply. When I came to your profile I got stuck to your picture. You know magic specially your eyes and smile are not allowing me to take my eyes off your pic. I really wanna talk to you because I want to know more about you. I believe you are not like other girls/women here on this website. Eagerly waiting for your reply.. and yeah I wanna make a request. Lol Please remove this wall pic. I don't want that now any one see this and hit with you with his kinkier message and what if you fall in love with him :P. Just kidding..Don't take it seriously.. Thanks for reading and giving me an opportunity to smile bye tc and Happy V-day!!!

Poor seriously insecure person:
Message from Kaiserfilk: I look for a serious relationship but I'm open to everything. Let's try some things ;)
Me: Try some things. Like....base jumping or heli-skiing?
Kaiserfilk: Fuck you Bitch!!!
I'm still laughing over this one ^.

or this one: rastaswizz: hi...whats up...i'm over here in vallejo...i like your pics and I was wondering if you wanted to hook up sometime and maybe fuck or whatever? is that cool wit you?

or this couple: swingcouple
swingcouple: hi! ;-)
ME: Sorry. I don't play well with others.
swingcouple: good thing we play separately. =) polyamorous means we can date/play together or on our own. did i mention you're really cute?
ME: Still, ew.
swingcouple: wow. aren't you high and mighty? just trying to explain the circumstances, no need to try to make others feel bad. I assumed anyone with "...seeks to amuse herself with witty conversation and meaningless sexual encounters." within the first paragraph of her profile, would understand others that seek the same.
have and nice life.

ME: High and mighty? No. Just like you, I'm permitted to have my standards. And I exercised my right to give my opinion of your offer, just like you exercised your right to try to explain yourself. But yeah, I guess my sarcasm was overlooked. Still ew. Just something soulless about what you do. Good luck with trolling for willing participants.
swingcouple: while looking for "meaningless sexual encounters" is a totally honorable. You are too close-minded to judge others. whore.
ME: It was sarcasm. You, on the other hand are just pathetic and juvenile.
ME: I'm sure you believed the part about the melon smuggling, too.

No means no SwingCouple. I am just not into you....two.
The two of us