41Seattle, United States
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My self-summary
I advise you to flirt with disaster.
Then wrestle disaster to the ground and make it your bitch.


I'm crazy, in that I like to get to know people before letting them into my bed. I've had more than enough easy one-night-stands and meaningless sex. I don't mind sex without commitment, I just want there to be connection. I'm involved with people already, you might be also. That is ok.

I also enjoy the tension you get when you have sexual chemistry but choose not to act on it.


Skip this section, it's too serious:

I'm often off-putting to folks who first meet me, but you will never find someone more loyal than I if I call you friend. I love conversation that has meaning or purpose.

I'm hardened, tough, soft, sensitive, non-crying (although, strangely I will cry at some movies), empathic, intelligent and wise, lazy sometimes, unsmotherable, stoic and hard to affect, cheerful 92% of the time, observing instead of interacting at parties, interacting over observing in deep conversation or debate, overreaching attempts at balance, but finding balance just the same.

I should warn you that while I care about grammar and spelling I'm prone to verbizing words and sometimes the occasional malapropism.

I have a pretty different outlook on life than most. I feel like an observer in a way. I feel metacognitive, so to speak, and that makes it hard for me to get wrapped up in life. Which is both positive and negative, but I definitely seek people who can get me wrapped up, even for a short period of time. Because of this stuff that is usually crazy, extreme, horrible, amazing, wonderful, fantastic, etc. all have less of an effect on me than one might expect. This means I can handle a lot of shit, negativity, and so forth. But also means I seek ways to feel deeply and because of that I seek out people who can help me feel deeply.

Which is probably why I am at a point where I get to know people so that I can get them to drop their guard enough to tell me about the real them. The facade everyone puts on (including my own facade) is really boring to me. But almost every time I get to know someone inside and out I find myself rapt with fascination at who they really are. I find people's true selves interesting most of the time.

As for the poly thing I actually find most people in polyamorous relationships kind of dysfunctional. Polyamory itself is not bad, but of the myriad reasons folks do it only a handful are good ones. I am polyamorous by default, I don't arbitrarily limit natural/organic connections with people. But I do make agreements with people and always follow them.

After dating multiples for a few years, in the past couple years I've only dated one person. I can't tell if I'm pickier or busier.

I'm vigilant for and embrace change.

I used to love debate, but these days I see that, in fact, it's just some folks arguing as if their lives would be threatened if they admitted they were wrong in some small way or gave way to another idea. I'm talking about myself there too, used to be every time I trounced someone in a debate it would be a personal victory, now I like to go easy on people so that they have a chance to make a good point. I do love a debate where those disagreeing are open to changing their minds. Well would you look at that? I've run on and on about debate as if it were really important to me or something.

I am ambivalent about shibboleths

What you can expect from me here is honesty, integrity, and an unpredictable schedule of logging on. My work and play life are pure chaos.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm peter pan in wolfs clothing dressed in a business suit going to a ball to fight a banker win the girl reject the princess kill the dragon and make off with all your base...

are belong to me.

I crack the shell of social veneer on a daily basis. Peering inside to knit form and function from the gooey mess that is the human heart.

I try very hard to avoid being in any way reductive or underbearing.


In a world we call our home there's lots of room to roam plenty of time to turn mistakes into rhyme


I followed you across the stars, I looked for you in seedy bars...
A glimpse of you was all it took, a stranger's glance it got me hooked...
Love is strong and you're so sweet, you make me hard you make me weak.


And I have read the right books
To interpret your looks
You were knocking me down
With the palm of your eye


I’m really good at
I'm an expert problem solver, and can eat other people's drama for breakfast. I am fearless, unshakable, and can wear your "baggage" as a fucking necklace.

People can either be
– now pick two
I’ve met several people who have all three.

Me? I’m more one and 2 halves.

Also good at:
Helping people, solving problems, being intuitive, physiognomy (though it's mostly nonsense), hermeneutics of facial expressions, peeling back social veneer, micro-expressions, handling/making money, seeing the truth, honesty, loyalty, etc....

I am a human lie detector. You'll be very frustrated in a relationship with me if you typically lie or hold things back.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I look like my pictures, unlike some folks on OKcupid. (ahem)

Thick and wavy hair (think Clark Kent, only messier, wilder, bigger.
OK, nothing like Clark Kent. - Think Wolverine!)

Linebacker shoulders

Dangerous hands

Air of unshakable confidence
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Not in order and not complete:

Imogen Heap/Frou Frou, Death Cab for Cutie, TMBG, Dave Matthews, Vienna Teng, The Smiths, Sia, Tupac, Dan Fogelberg, Phil Collins, Heart, Utada Hikaru, David Bowie, Ladytron, Justin Timberlake, The Matches, Pearl Jam, Sarah Mclachlan, The Cure, Abba, Eminem, Joanna Newsom

Fight Club, Legends of the Fall, Clerks, Leon (The Professional), The Messenger (apparently I like Luc Beson), Boondock Saints, Hair, What dreams may come, Jesus Christ Superstar, Moulin Rouge, True Romance, A Life Less Ordinary, the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy, Indiana Jones trilogy, all 6 Star Wars movies, the Last Unicorn, Swimming with Sharks, Harold and Maude

Manuela, Courtship rite, The Bridge Across Forever, Atlas Shrugged, Cat's Cradle, Fahrenheit 451, Animal Farm, Still Life with Woodpecker, Stranger in a Strange Land, Ender's Game, Johnny Got His Gun

But I think most books have too many words. I'm a big fan of pamphlets.
Six things I could never do without
I don't need any of this! I don't need anything except this ashtray.
And that's it, that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray...

And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need...

And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need...

And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball.

And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one -

Oh I need this! The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.

Well, maybe I don't need my dog.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
There is more brilliance, depth and solutions to be found in this 20 minute video than the entire Diagnostics and Statistical manual of psychiatry.

Also this:

Also this:
On a typical Friday night I am
These days most of my time is spent helping those with aspergers to learn to channel their logical minds towards social challenges.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm in love with staff_robot

Ah, Metallum Roboticus

Your carbon fiber epidermis
makes Hominidae nonplus

Your impenetrable exterior
rejecting every phallus.

Which elucidates your lack
of hedonistic predilection

but doesn't stop me
from getting an erection.
You should message me if
At this point I am looking for a lot. I have a lot going on and have little time for messing around. I have lots of time and energy for the right person.

I'm looking for friendship, if sex happens it'll be later and a surprise. It would be awesome if you were able to handle bluntness, knew who you were, self scrutinize easily and accurately, have lots of self respect and responsibility & love to have fun! You preferably have a narratively framed viewpoint on life and living. Meaning you want your life to be at least as good as a story.

Mostly, you are honest with yourself and can open up and show who you are when trust is found.

Live by this:

For that person I'd run through fire.


Are struggling with what to say?

Let me help! Here are a list of questions:

1) If I don't pay my exorcist, will I get repossessed?

2) If I choke a smurf, what color will it turn?

3) What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

4) *this question removed due to too many creepy messages*

5) Why do they sterilize needles before a lethal injection?

6) What is the shape of the internet?

7) If cats always land on their feet, and bread always lands butter side down, what happens if you butter the top of a cat?

8) In a certain light, wouldn't nuclear war be exciting?

9) Which word is funnier, velveeta or squirrel?

10) What is the meaning of life?

11) Is popcorn a vegetable?

12) What is more important in a zombie apocalypse: food, guns or a chainsaw?

13) Which way does a compass point in space?

14) If I want to shoot a mime, do I have to use a silencer?

15) Do I even have to use a real gun?
The two of us