37Astoria, United States
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My self-summary
I grew up around Boston and moved here in 2013.

Most of the time I am pretty happy with myself and who I am.

I'm a computer programming nerd. I'm an atheist.

I read slowly but very broadly. I follow a lot of news feeds, ranging from commercial sources to radical nut jobs, and always try to consider the writers' or their employers' political slant. For fiction I mostly prefer scifi and fantasy.

Fun fact: I don't do cars; I can't pick one model out in a lineup among others, and I've never had a license. When I lived in Boston, getting a car just wasn't a priority. Public transportation serves me well, and I can easily walk for miles if there's somewhere at the end I want to be (like a good beach).

I've been married to kytheavec since 2007, and I'm looking here for friends (casual, serious, confused, BFF, nemesis, etc.), but not life partners.

If you are not looking for sex partners, then we won't be talking about you and me having sex. I don't play games that hurt platonic relationships.

If you are a man or not-female person looking for sex partners: I might be interested. Let's get to know each other first. You will have to meet my wife at some point before we get it on -- you will like her. (Also, my wife is not interested in sex with anyone but me at this time.)

Women looking for sex: I'm happy to make friends, but it might be a long time before my wife trusts you enough. If your objective is really just sex, there are lots of easier targets on OKCupid.

Answers to the old "3 adjectives to describe me" question OKCupid got rid of: I am happy, considerate, and froody.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a programmer in an a big company building IT stuff, keeping it running, and putting out software fires. What's it like? Very much like Dilbert -- incompetent management paralyses the department's ability to exhibit any kind of rational thought or efficiency. One must derive pleasure and satisfaction from solving small-scale problems, and avoid getting emotionally involved in the big stuff.
The first things people usually notice about me
I tend to be quiet in social gatherings where I don't know many people. I sometimes have too much unruly wavy/curly hair on my head.
Six things I could never do without
- a phone
- a computer
- my backpack
- my family
- the manual
- a towel
I spend a lot of time thinking about
- putting together or writing fresh software for portable, distributed personal information storage, with maximum privacy (not trusting Google, Facebook, or even a small hosting provider)
- information security and privacy
- USA's current fascist government and what to do about it
On a typical Friday night I am
Hanging out at home or out at a show, usually with my wife.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
One time long long ago in grade school I got really mad because my friend told a secret of mine to a bunch of people in my class. It's not a big deal now, but it sure was then! I was enraged; I got physically violent. I didn't get in any trouble, but I felt really bad about it afterwards, and I learned my lesson that day: whatever the infraction against you -- it probably doesn't matter that much; be cool. And in general, don't fly off the handle.
You should message me if
If these don't describe you:
- Love to laugh
- Living life to the fullest
- Fun loving
- Can't think of what to write in your profile
- Think it's important to say you like walking in the park or on the beach
- Easy-going
- Looking for a partner in crime

Seriously if I was looking for a partner in crime it wouldn't be HERE! (Actually I probably won't really hold any of that against you. But fix your profile. You can make it more interesting than that.)

Contact me if you're looking for friends and think I'm interesting.

Contact me if anything like these activities appeal to you:
- Playing Scrabble in a cafe
- Casual road biking
- Going naked at a clothing optional beach
- Hanging out nude anywhere that's not going to get you in trouble
- IM chatter about technology and tech news
- Classical music concerts
- Buddying up on your open source software project or mine
- Something else that you guess I would like.

Let me know if you can spot the movie I threw into my favorites section just for fun that I'd never actually watch.

It's too bad this isn't true for everyone, but ... I won't be freaked out if you are transgender, genderqueer, disabled, have a crippling disease, or have some other attribute that scares people. Please message me if you think we might have common interests. I'm more interested in what we have in common than what we don't.

My "details" box says I'm "very serious" about being atheist. But I'm not too judgy about it. All religious orientations welcome, even very serious Christians and Muslims, as long as you are also not judgy.

I'm probably not interested if:
- Your profile is empty
- You have answered no sorting questions and thus we have a 0% match

I'm an OkCupid freeloader. It's appropriate to say just 'like' as a message so I know who did it.

Other than that, please use real thought. "Hey" and "you're hot" will probably be ignored. Tell me something -- anything. What got your attention in my profile?
The two of us