PropertyIsTheft
33 Springfield, United States
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PropertyIsTheft
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My self-summary
Uh-Oh!!...I sold my house in Kansas, quit my job, shoved everything in a pod and drove my tiny car to Oregon! I do have a job here, since that's important to everyone and their moms. I want to keep exploring the area but now with company - hiking, biking, racquetball, swimming, all that and more. I really want to adventure up and down highway 58 and various coastal areas along the 101. Bodies of water in general are on the list too. Open to your suggestions also.

Facetious. Introvert. Snarky. Actually, I am incredibly polite. Your grandma would probably like me... though my introverted nature might make me appear rude/stuck-up sometimes. I suffer from a little bit of Peter-Pan-Syndrome but I'm rather responsible when it comes to most adult things. Museums, flea markets, antique malls, used book stores, libraries, parks, diners - are some places I am a fan of. Also Home Depot...I rarely purchase anything but I just like looking around in there. Plus, it smells awesome! Invent some sort of Home Depot air freshener and I'll buy the crap out of it.

I would like to get to know and date a really great person. However, I don't date just for the sake of companionship. I don't get caught up in the whole idea of people needing to couple up in order to be happy/complete/blah blah. I'd rather be single than settle for a subpar relationship. Basically, I just want someone that is smart, fun, and I find attractive to go on adventures with and to hit up museums, diners, bookstores, buttes/mountains, oceans/lakes/rivers/puddles, and to spend lazy days with; playing scrabble, watching the best cartoons that came out when we were kids, and listening to silly music. Being able to enjoy doing nothing with someone is great! It can be serious without needing to be complicated.

INTJ last I checked.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying/Wanting to teach myself -
ASL, German (took it in high school but remember about a dozen words) and then maybe Mandarin. Also - juggling, drumming (not now due to living in an apartment), oil-painting, drawing beyond a 5 year-old level, how to be a better writer, lock-picking, fencing, kayaking

I actually did start a webcomic. It isn't completely horrible. Got burnt out on it pretty quickly though.

I am employed "full-time". I make plenty of money and have a bundle from selling my home so as to not have to stress about finances. I am just not into society's expectations in regards to careers, student loans, decades of debt, working 60 hours a week to afford a super nice house I barely have time to enjoy, a sweet car I only drive to and from work, etc. I mean...who decided we're supposed to go to school for 20some years and then do basically the same job for like 50 years?? That seems like something a crazy person would come up with!
I’m really good at
I evoke hyperbole like it's going out of style.

Being funny. If you'll allow me to be slightly full of myself for just a second...I'm hilarious. I can alter my humor to fit the situation. Sometimes I'll pull out some c-material for the folks at work and still get the room laughing. Usually just quick witted and full of references. Master of the call-back. I can get really dark and morbid too because I find that sort of thing hilarious.

Insomnia/sleeping for 10 hours straight.

Honestly...I'm confident I could do pretty much anything above average if I really tried.
The first things people usually notice about me
"Pretty eyes", "Adorable hair", "Cute mouth"

I smile in real life too, I just can't fake it for pictures. Oh, and I guess I don't walk around with bedhead all day too often...at least in public.

When I have facial hair there is a slight red tone visible in certain light. It has been mentioned by multiple people. There are also a few specks of grey and I kinda like it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Note - most of these lists are for my own record keeping.

Currently reading
The Enormous Room
Harry Potter 4
East of Eden

Notables from the last few years -(I keep a full list on my computer...Nerd Alert!) - Les Miserables, The Count of Monte Cristo, Brave New World, Moby Dick (I quit, because Moby Dick sucks. Actually tried reading it TWICE), Of Human Bondage, Watership Down, The Sound and the Fury (Didn't finish, found it profoundly annoying), Peter Pan, The Three Musketeers, Robinson Crusoe (and it's lame, super racist sequel), The Autobiography of Malcolm X, Black Boy, The Bell Jar, Geek Love, Winnie the Pooh, The Gum Thief, Night, The River, Magician: Apprentice, The Princess Bride, The Golden Compass, Glinda of Oz (read all of the original Oz books), An American Tragedy (I quit halfway through because I couldn't stand the main character), Harry Potter 1, The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao, The Magicians and it's two sequels, Harry Potter 2, Hyperbole and a Half, Goethe's Faust, Frankenstein, The Sorrows of Young Werther, The Coma, Harry Potter 3, Ready Player One, Armada, The Name of the Wind, The Wise Man's Fear, The Longest Journey, The Phantom Tollbooth

Movies - Oldboy, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Pierrot le fou, Paris Is Burning, The Machine Girl, The City of Lost Children, Terminator 2, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Godfather, Ponyo, Jules et Jim, Reefer Madness: The Musical, Mary and Max, Primer, Brick, Robocop, Toy Story 1/3, City of God, The Princess Bride, A Dirty Carnival. I really like documentaries, too. Lots of old cartoons from Disney/Nickelodeon still saved on VHS from my childhood.
(I can't stand misunderstandings, cars that won't start or guns used as plot devices!)

Music - I am currently in love with Italo-Disco and New Jack Swing. 90's hiphop, 80's pop, speed/power metal, 90's dance, bubblegum pop, synthpop, crust punk, oldies, industrial...among others. I'm insanely picky though. Leftover Crack, VNV Nation, Tech N9ne, VAST, Toy-Box, Rammstein, TKK, Marcy Playground, Billy Talent, Primal Fear, Tupac, Our Lady Peace, Chevelle, KMFDM, Brand New, Iron & Wine, Dead Prez, Girls Aloud, Pain, The Offspring, Solid Base, Finger Eleven, Regina Spektor

Food - Unfortunately carb heavy things like pasta and bread. Also a sucker for a good American Chinese dish (sesame chicken!) or a tasty dessert. White Fudge Oreos! Spanish rices RULES. Lemonade.

TV - Seinfeld, Beavis and Butthead, Top Model (international versions included), Naruto, Deadwood, King of Queens, Junkyard Wars, Mythbusters, The Wire, Cowboy Bebop, MST3K, Freaks and Geeks, RuPaul's Drag Race, ST:TNG > all the others, DuckTales, Digimon, Justified, House MD, Project Runway (international versions included), Warehouse 13, Game of Thrones, Planet Earth, Person of Interest, Workaholics, The IT Crowd, The New Detectives/Forensic Files (all that true crime stuff)

Video Games - Fallout4. Dragon Age, XCOM, Dragon's Dogma, Skyrim. Kingdom Hearts 1, Chrono Trigger, Kingdoms of Amalur, Tales series, most of the Zeldas, Super Mario World!!, almost all the Final Fantasy games, Animal Crossing. Mario Kart 64. 2d Castlevanias. Super Nintendo is better than all the rest...BUT MINE IS BROKEN!

Web comics - Nedroid, Hark! A Vagrant, White Ninja, Dinosaur Comics, My Cardboard Life, Extra Ordinary, Perry Bible Fellowship

Artists - Whistler (mostly because of The Thames in Ice), Aivazovsky, Yves Tanguy, Caravaggio (dude was crazy!), J. M. W. Turner (I love maritime art), Goya
The six things I could never do without
I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff. I don't need anything. Except this pair of glasses. And that's the only thing I need is this. I don't need this or this. Just this pair of prescription glasses... And this modern plumbing. - The glasses and the modern plumbing and that's all I need... And this nap. - The glasses, the plumbing, and the naps, and that's all I need... I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something? - And this. That's all I need.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Cliches and unoriginality bore me.

http://whywontgodhealamputees.com

It sure is a crock that mouse holes in real life are nothing like mouse holes from cartoons. Also that eyes don't glow in the dark. Huge let down.

Dolphins. They sleep with one eye open just so they can FUCK YOU UP. Plus, I hear they're known for raping divers. So they're also sexually violent.

Modern society is so...anxious, frazzled, nuts. Desperate for money, constantly worried about work they don't find rewarding or even enjoy, and trying to keep up to date with every little thing in the world that has nothing to do with them. No one should give a shit about what their cousin just had for dinner or that someone from high school they haven't spoken to in a decade went to a concert.

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adopt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." - George Bernard Shaw
On a typical Friday night I am
I refuse to answer this generic question.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'll admit anything. The judgments of others do not concern me. I try to keep it classy though, because I have self-respect.
You should message me if
You think you can put up with me. I'm quite the misanthrope.
-'While misanthropes express a general dislike for humanity on the whole, they generally have normal relationships with specific people.'
- 'effectively functioning in society has little or no value to the misanthrope, and the prospect of fitting into their culture seems to them like idiocy'
-'They will typically be very selective with whom they choose to associate'

You want to speak with British accents all day. OR! Want to roleplay that were ARE British while shopping or dining out. Other accents are fine too. Made up or mixed up bad accents are fun also, we'll just confuse the hell out of everyone.

You are Canadian.

You often smell like food.

You're a redhead. I don't believe in souls anyway.

If your profile says "ask me" on multiple sections - get out. I'm not a fucking journalist, man.

You checked 'dislikes children' on you profile. That just means you're awesome. OkCupid removed that choice! Weak. But still, if you do not want kids, that is ideal as I am not having any.

You have a cat. I will be your cat's friend and converse with them like they are people. I will sneak them treats. I am allergic so they are not allowed to sleep on my face. They can be the big spoon though.
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