33Springfield, United States
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My self-summary
I have zero wives, zero kids, zero sexual diseases, and zero days behind bars or in detox.

I have all my teeth (except wisdom), a job, a car, my own place, and a library card.

Facetious. Introvert. Snarky.

Museums, flea markets, antique malls, used book stores, libraries, waterfalls, parks, diners, bodies of water,

Basically, I just want someone that is intelligent, fun, and weirdly unique... to go on adventures with, visit the places listed above, and to spend lazy days with; playing board games, watching the best cartoons that came out when we were kids, working on creative projects, and listening to silly music.

INTJ last I checked.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying/Wanting to teach myself -
ASL, German (took it in high school but remember about a dozen words) and then maybe Mandarin. Also - juggling, drumming (not now due to living in an apartment), oil-painting, drawing beyond a 5 year-old level, how to be a better writer, lock-picking, fencing, kayaking

I actually did start a webcomic. It isn't completely horrible. Got burnt out on it pretty quickly though.

I am employed full-time but it doesn't define me. I make enough money to take care of everything I need to.
I’m really good at
I evoke hyperbole like it's going out of style.

Being funny. I'm hilarious. I can alter my humor to fit the situation. Usually just quick witted and full of references. Master of the call-back. I can get really dark and morbid too because I find that sort of thing hilarious.

Insomnia/sleeping for 10 hours straight.

Honestly...I'm confident I could do pretty much anything above average if I really tried.
The first things people usually notice about me
"Pretty eyes", "Adorable hair", "Cute mouth"

I smile in real life too, I just can't fake it for pictures. Oh, and I guess I don't walk around with bedhead all day too least in public.

When I have facial hair there is a slight red tone visible in certain light. It has been mentioned by multiple people. There are also a few specks of grey and I kinda like it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Note - most of these lists are for my own record keeping.

Currently reading
The Enormous Room
Harry Potter 4
East of Eden

Notables from the last few years -(I keep a full list on my computer...Nerd Alert!) - Les Miserables, The Count of Monte Cristo, Brave New World, Moby Dick (I quit, because Moby Dick sucks. Actually tried reading it TWICE), Of Human Bondage, Watership Down, The Sound and the Fury (Didn't finish, found it profoundly annoying), Peter Pan, The Three Musketeers, Robinson Crusoe (and it's lame, super racist sequel), The Autobiography of Malcolm X, Black Boy, The Bell Jar, Geek Love, Winnie the Pooh, The Gum Thief, Night, The River, Magician: Apprentice, The Princess Bride, The Golden Compass, Glinda of Oz (read all of the original Oz books), An American Tragedy (I quit halfway through because I couldn't stand the main character), Harry Potter 1, The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao, The Magicians and it's two sequels, Harry Potter 2, Hyperbole and a Half, Goethe's Faust, Frankenstein, The Sorrows of Young Werther, The Coma, Harry Potter 3, Ready Player One, Armada, The Name of the Wind, The Wise Man's Fear, The Longest Journey, The Phantom Tollbooth

Movies - Oldboy, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, Pierrot le fou, Paris Is Burning, The Machine Girl, The City of Lost Children, Terminator 2, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Godfather, Ponyo, Jules et Jim, Reefer Madness: The Musical, Mary and Max, Primer, Brick, Robocop, Toy Story 1/3, City of God, The Princess Bride, A Dirty Carnival. I really like documentaries, too. Lots of old cartoons from Disney/Nickelodeon still saved on VHS from my childhood.
(I can't stand misunderstandings, cars that won't start or guns used as plot devices!)

Music - I am currently in love with Italo-Disco and New Jack Swing. 90's hiphop, 80's pop, speed/power metal, 90's dance, bubblegum pop, synthpop, crust punk, oldies, industrial...among others. I'm insanely picky though. Leftover Crack, VNV Nation, Tech N9ne, VAST, Toy-Box, Rammstein, TKK, Marcy Playground, Billy Talent, Primal Fear, Tupac, Our Lady Peace, Chevelle, KMFDM, Brand New, Iron & Wine, Dead Prez, Girls Aloud, Pain, The Offspring, Solid Base, Finger Eleven, Regina Spektor

Food - Unfortunately carb heavy things like pasta and bread. Also a sucker for a good American Chinese dish (sesame chicken!) or a tasty dessert. White Fudge Oreos! Spanish rices RULES. Lemonade.

TV - Seinfeld, Beavis and Butthead, Top Model (international versions included), Naruto, Deadwood, King of Queens, Junkyard Wars, Mythbusters, The Wire, Cowboy Bebop, MST3K, Freaks and Geeks, RuPaul's Drag Race, ST:TNG > all the others, DuckTales, Digimon, Justified, House MD, Project Runway (international versions included), Warehouse 13, Game of Thrones, Planet Earth, Person of Interest, Workaholics, The IT Crowd, The New Detectives/Forensic Files (all that true crime stuff)

Video Games - Fallout4. Dragon Age, XCOM, Dragon's Dogma, Skyrim. Kingdom Hearts 1, Chrono Trigger, Kingdoms of Amalur, Tales series, most of the Zeldas, Super Mario World!!, almost all the Final Fantasy games, Animal Crossing. Mario Kart 64. 2d Castlevanias. Super Nintendo is better than all the rest...BUT MINE IS BROKEN!

Web comics - Nedroid, Hark! A Vagrant, White Ninja, Dinosaur Comics, My Cardboard Life, Extra Ordinary, Perry Bible Fellowship

Artists - Whistler (mostly because of The Thames in Ice), Aivazovsky, Yves Tanguy, Caravaggio (dude was crazy!), J. M. W. Turner (I love maritime art), Goya
Six things I could never do without
I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff. I don't need anything. Except this pair of glasses. And that's the only thing I need is this. I don't need this or this. Just this pair of prescription glasses... And this modern plumbing. - The glasses and the modern plumbing and that's all I need... And this nap. - The glasses, the plumbing, and the naps, and that's all I need... I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something? - And this. That's all I need.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Cliches and unoriginality bore me.

It sure is a crock that mouse holes in real life are nothing like mouse holes from cartoons. Also that eyes don't glow in the dark. Huge let down.

Dolphins. They sleep with one eye open just so they can FUCK YOU UP. Plus, I hear they're known for raping divers. So they're also sexually violent.

Modern society is so...anxious, frazzled, nuts. Desperate for money, constantly worried about work they don't find rewarding or even enjoy, and trying to keep up to date with every little thing in the world that has nothing to do with them. No one should give a shit about what their cousin just had for dinner or that someone from high school they haven't spoken to in a decade went to a concert.

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adopt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." - George Bernard Shaw

How awesome the USA is.
We bombed the SHIT out of Hiroshima.
Nagasaki? That was cold. Internment camps for our own citizens? Use tax payer money! Oh, hi, thanks for welcoming us onto your continent. We'll take it!
On a typical Friday night I am
I refuse to answer this generic question.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'll admit anything. The judgments of others do not concern me. I try to keep it classy though, because I have self-respect.
You should message me if
You think you can put up with me. I'm quite the misanthrope.
-'While misanthropes express a general dislike for humanity on the whole, they generally have normal relationships with specific people.'
- 'effectively functioning in society has little or no value to the misanthrope, and the prospect of fitting into their culture seems to them like idiocy'
-'They will typically be very selective with whom they choose to associate'

You want to speak with British accents all day. OR! Want to roleplay that were ARE British while shopping or dining out. Other accents are fine too. Made up or mixed up bad accents are fun also, we'll just confuse the hell out of everyone.

You are Canadian.

You often smell like food.

You're a redhead. I don't believe in souls anyway.

If your profile says "ask me" on multiple sections - get out. I'm not a fucking journalist, man.

You checked 'dislikes children' on you profile. That just means you're awesome. OkCupid removed that choice! Weak. But still, if you do not want kids, that is ideal as I am not having any.

You have a cat. I will be your cat's friend and converse with them like they are people. I will sneak them treats. I am allergic so they are not allowed to sleep on my face. They can be the big spoon though.
The two of us