For example, "Business owner who loves traveling and cross-country skiing," should really read "Derelict alcoholic with severe bipolar syndrome, whose idea of fun is sometimes smashing furniture and urinating on everything in a fit of drunken rage."
"Patent attorney and workaholic who loves to attend weekend music festivals" should read, "Occasional self-medicator and Burning Man socialite, who enjoys snorting lines of blow and Oxycontin while being abused at the BDSM clubs on the weekends."
"Construction worker who owns 2 dogs and loves family" should read, "Eternal mama's boy whose entire way of living is utterly discombobulated, still lives with his ma at 33 years old, is also a secret religious nutjob who believes cavemen rode dinosaurs. Will start acting like he owns you after 2 dates together."
"Electrical engineer and research scientist from U Penn who has published several journals" should read, "Heavy on the autistic spectrum, has absolutely no sense of humor, has terrible genetics, but makes up for it by giving you endless amounts of orgasms in bed."
"Psychiatrist who works at the hospital who loves reading books and throwing foodie parties" should read, "Overt narcissist who thinks way too highly of himself, is selfish in bed, loves to buy hookers and strippers, is essentially a perv-ologist of the worst kinds, is a man-child who has no business in the dating scene but of course tries and does anyway. Is likely already married with children, but lies about it on the regular because he wishes he could go back in time and marry a swinger instead."
"Personal trainer who loves dubstep and going clubbing" should read, "PTSD-ridden douchebag who is always DTF, has sex with clients in exchange for money, was in fact dishonorably discharged from the U.S. Marines, but neglects to tell you why. Hs a great body, and good stamina in bed, so he would still score a 7/10, if it weren't for his tendency for psychopathy, and emotional manipulation."
(As you can tell, I have a no-tolerance policy for nonsense and bullshit.)
I have no idea what my "real" self-summary would say. Actually I do, and I provide subtle glimpses of it throughout my profile if you read between the lines.
Dostoevsky. I am also fascinated with Malcolm X, the Black Panthers, and Karl Marx. I used to have literally an entire library full of thousands of books solely dedicated mostly to these topics, back in California.
I have a pretty extensive music collection… j-rock, blues, reggae ton, progressive metal, psy trance, 80's, indie, K-pop, classical, you
name it, I have pretty diverse tastes when it comes to music. Nowadays, I mostly listen to jump-up drum & bass and liquid dubstep however. Right now I'm really into DJ Fresh, Matrix & Futurebound, Tantrum Desire, Pendulum, ShockOne, Blackmill, and Xilent right now.
My favorite films are Moulin Rouge, Shortbus, Battle Royale, American Beauty, Ex Drummer, SLC Punk, Donnie Darko, Transamerica, Eyes Wide Shut, Ichi the Killer, and Trainspotting. I really want to watch the German film Wetlands when the English subtitled version comes out in February.
I love all kinds of foods, but I have a penchant for exotic meats
and wild game. Wild boar prosciutto, goose liver foie gras, buffalo carpaccio, things of that nature. My favorite cuisine is French, followed by sushi, then shellfish (lobster, crab, mussels, clams, oysters), then Thai.
6. My free spirit. Simply because life wouldn't be worth living, without a touch of hedonism and Epicureanism.