28Pittsburgh, United States
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My self-summary
I like getting drunk at art galleries. I think brunch is the pinnacle of western civilization. Kanye West interrupts award shows to talk about me. My testicles are gargantuan and I aint wit that sucka shit.
What I’m doing with my life
Hustlin... All day erry day...I bartend
I’m really good at
I cook really well. Not chef level but the chefs I've lived with like it. I also make really tasty cocktails. I don't have to be conned into doing either. I love making stuff to put in peoples mouths. I also love a good dirty pun, and jokes in general. I did stand up for a few years along with sketch and improv and still write for a podcast. "He cooks, makes drinks, has a job, and is funny. What's wrong with him?" Well I have an enormous dick and I hate to clean. Can't win em all.
The first things people usually notice about me
The tight smile followed by the snark
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Catch 22
Anthony Bordain No Reservations
Song: My funny valentine - Etta James
Artist: Nina Simone
Genres: Hip-hop, Punk, Jazz, House, Soul, late 80's newwave art/dream goth rock (existed for 30 min in a corner bar in central downtown Newark)
Seafood Alfredo
Six things I could never do without
My daughter, and then the boring essential stuff we all need for life. Oh yeah and music. Music is huge
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Building a future and all that jazz. Plus butts. I think about butts a lot.
On a typical Friday night I am
Working, at a friend's show, or a quiet bar.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm allergic to dogs and cats. If I buy zyrtec to chill with you it's real
You should message me if
If the idea of hanging out people watching, and eating a monstrous amount of sushi while drinking wine sounds like your kinda night.

Or if you just want to check out a new restaurant but need someone to go with so the waiter doesn't pity/try to fuck you.
The two of us