31 Dallas, United States
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My self-summary
I'm kind of awesome, you should message me.

That being said, this self-summary blank taunts me. I am not an empty essay, I just believe that I've said everything else below, and yes, I am the kind of person that fills out a profile from the bottom up.

Either way, I'm here to hopefully find somebody that I click with. To do that, I'm not going to be very interested in spending the next two months chatting online. I feel like while we can get to know each other a little bit over messenger, really the only only way to know if you click with someone is to meet them. Seriously, let's find a whiskey tasting and get to know each other over that instead. Read up and see if you're interested.

And because all the cool kids are doing it, I'll do it, too - I'm ISTJ, supposedly.

So, to summarize me (as I'm supposed to be doing) - I'm smart, sarcastic, caring, loyal, independent, fat (yeah, yeah, yeah, this seems to be an issue for a lot of people), and constantly listening to things going on around me, so that I can throw in the occasional perfectly-timed inappropriate comment. If you're looking for the kind of girl that will expect you to pay the bill on a first date or has a vapid giggle, look on, I'm not your girl. If you're looking for someone to become friends with over burgers and beer, while exchanging witty banter that may or may not make sense, we should meet.

And I love to Mystery-Science-Theater-3000 the hell out of everything.

So, hey, here's a thing. It's probably about time to update my profile and so I'm just going to do that by adding a little wisdom from my last "super successful"* date on OkC.

Here's my suggested list of things not to do on a first date:

- proceed to get wasted;
- slap your date on the butt as they head to the restroom;
- ask if your date was molested as a child;
- repeatedly ask what bad thing happened to your date when
they spurn your attempt to kiss their neck at the bar after
they've explained they don't appreciate PDA;
- ask your date if they're ready to get out of here after an hour
of conversation;
- mock your date when they politely decline this offer; and
- ask your date how many dates she's ever even been on,
because she clearly doesn't understand how first dates are
supposed to go.

This has been a public service announcement.

*Acutely unsuccessful.
What I’m doing with my life
I am biding my time.

I've been able to experience a lot of cool things up to this point. I was a foreign exchange student in Belgium, where I took the chance to school myself in the fine arts of beer and traveling solo. I went to college in New York, where I scored myself a wonderfully interesting, yet entirely useless Liberal Arts degree with a concentration in Old Testament Biblical history and Early Romance Literature. Finally, I decided that wasn't off the wall enough, so I went to Colorado to attend cooking school.

Now, I am a legal assistant in a North Dallas law firm by day, and in my free time I cater small events, make wedding cakes, and explore my passion as a personal chef.
I’m really good at
Cooking. Yeah, I'm really good at that. My grandmother once told me that 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels'. I have since discovered that this is a lie - there are many things that taste better than skinny feels, and I have made it my business to figure out how to make as many of them as I can.

I'm also really good at catching things in midair. Not when they're thrown though, only when they're dropped. It's a skill and a curse.

Beyond that, I'm also a pretty a-ok listener, and my advice often seems to pan out. I knit, and am learning how to quilt and improve my general sewing skills... I have made a little vow to myself that all of my Christmas gifts for my family and friends should be homemade from now on. I tend to be able to make things in general - pinterest is the bane of my existence only because I've never had a pinterest fail.
The first things people usually notice about me
It's generally the fact that my hair is waist length, or that I'm barefooted. That seems to come up a lot.

Also, I'm the one that just made the sarcastic comment in the background. True story.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Yes please, fiction preferred. I'll give just about anything a chance, but I'm a Jane Austen buff, so there's that. But of course, I love the ones that everyone else does, i.e. LOTR, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Golden Compass, Outlander, etc.

Movies: I love movies. Love them. But there's a catch. While I have been slowly amassing an epic DVD collection, I probably haven't seen your favorite movie. My parents raised me on a steady diet of period pieces, musicals, and dramas, so the movies that I know and love tend to run in that vein. I'm slowly learning the epic-ness of such things as Hot Fuzz, The Big Lebowski, and Spinal Tap. That being said, I am an LOTR buff, and a fanatic for overly-aggressive action flicks. I have a thing for Bruce Willis. A big thing.

Music: I listen to just about everything. I'm really a pretty dedicated folk listener, and often wind up listening to classical and classical jazz, but I'm also slowly learning to appreciate some blue grass and blues, and have a shameful adoration for some emo. But my true loves are Muse, Daft Punk, and Girl Talk.

TV: I don't watch a lot of TV, to be honest, but when I do, it's probably Family Guy, New Girl, or Doctor Who. Oh goodness, love me some Doctor Who. Also, I've just fallen into binging on Supernatural. It's kind of a problem.

Food: Yes please. I love to eat new and interesting things - I do love to eat out, but most of the time I prefer to stay in and find new things to cook. I'm not too picky and will generally try anything once, with the exception of bananas, cooked blueberries, and _____ (I reserve the right to leave this blank open for when I figure out my next dislike.). I also prefer to not eat cake.
The six things I could never do without
1. My dog Wiley. He's a rescue, and suffered some rough times before I found him, so now I spoil the little bastard rotten. I even make his dog food from scratch. Oddly he doesn't really like me all that much.

Sadly, I've lost him, but I can't think of a reasonable replacement for him as #1. I'm acutely aware that I am a dog person, and this not-having-a-dog thing does not work for me.

2. Music. I have a hard time thinking, and in fact, concentrating at all without some form of music playing. I spend most of my days at work re-listening to audio books, too.

3. My iPhone. I apparently can't live without my tech, but I can't stand people who are unable to put then down, even during conversation.

4. A/C. Seriously. I think I might be part polar bear, because I hate the hot and tend to keep my apartment in the low 60s.

5. Flip flops. I tend not to wear shoes, so I generally keep some around to prevent people from judging me for my barefootedness. This goes for winter, too.

6. My cow wrapping paper. I bought it at a garage sale when I was 8, and have wrapped every present I have given since in it. Honestly I think it's butcher paper, but I still love it, and think that if I conserve, my roll should last me until I'm about 50.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Ways to be better. I think about my job, my life, my cooking, etc, and ponder the ways I could improve it. Right now I'm looking to buy a house - there's a lot of thinking involved in that process.

I'm a big daydreamer, too. I get distracted easily and can find myself miles from whatever I'm supposed to be thinking.

Also, if wizards stop learning math at the age of 11, how is Hogwarts a responsible choice? Do they have wizarding universities and law schools and the like, or do the send the future ministry of magic officials to muggle law school to learn theory?
On a typical Friday night I am
Throwing an epic, last minute dinner party for my friends and neighbors- easy comfort foods, family style dinners, or make your own gnocchi fests with lots of wine and conversation.

Or, I might be hanging out at my best friend's house, having a chill evening, painting figurines, or in generally relaxing, with intermittent breaks to help her with her kids and brew fresh coffee.

Either way, I'm not particularly in to being out at clubs, etc. I'm a bit of a homebody.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a weakness for tattoos. I wish I could get a sleeve, but...

I have a hard time respecting people that take selfies. This is a constant issue for me, since my bf is takes them fairly consistently.

Also, I spent a while selling cigars at a Renaissance Faire. It was piles of fun, and on the rare (increasingly rare as time passes), I'll enjoy a nice cigar.

I have a hard time pronouncing the name 'Genevieve'.

My screenname is a very apt description of my personality.
You should message me if
You feel like we could get along socially on a friendly basis. I don't sleep around, so I'm not looking for a one night stand or a FWB. This doesn't mean I'm not looking for a relationship, as one person has asked me, it just means I'm looking for the kind of person that I would actually like to be friends with. Will you be my friend?

Addendum - If you're out of state, it's probably not going to work, friend or other, because I like to meet people face to face.

Also, (and this one probably makes me sound like a bitch) if you don't punctuate your message, you should be prepared for me to not respond. Text speak is equally repellent. If you don't have enough time to spell out 'you', I don't know if you have enough time to get to know me. And this is a truth.

Here's another red flag - if you are a straight person that has an irrational hatred for homosexual relationships, we will almost certainly not get along.

I am also not at all interested in meeting married people. I will have nothing to do with an 'open' relationship. I am not polyamorous. I am not interested in being a mistress. I'm a single girl looking for a single partner who I can respect and appreciate, while having fun.