31Lansing, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I have an underlying love for people of the human variety and don't really care about much else. I tend to express this love by cooking for said humans. In fact, it's likely that I want to feed you right now. As such, if you were to feed me, I'd probably follow you home.

Having fallen for the money trap that is contemporary academia, I've retreated back to my homeland to eke out survival. I've also considered fleeing to Canada because, as Mr. Bowie put it best, "I'm afraid of Americans."

Also, Myers and Briggs told me I'm INTP, if you're into that kind of thing.
What I’m doing with my life
For a while, I wanted to be a judge. Why? Because my last name would have sounded totally cool with "Judge" in front of it. I also wanted to write a book describing a grand universal theme that would unify humanity and reveal both the absurdity and necessity of love and understanding. It was hard, though, and being the usher of everlasting peace doesn't pay the bills.

So, unfortunately, I've decided I no longer want to save the world, at least not on the grand scale I originally intended to. [Sorry world, tough break.] Instead, most of my focus has been dedicated to loving the people around me and fostering care in my community. My secret dream is to be a rainbow-flavored Doug Stamper, bringing the powers that be one step closer to world domination with careful planning and nefarious deception, except with love and understanding and stuff.
I’m really good at
As much as I would love to be good at something more profitable, what I am best at is English, writing it specifically. If you've thus found my prose intimidating or unapproachable, you may be happy to discover that I'm far from outspoken in-person.

I also have this thing called caring. It tends to project to the entire human race and often interferes with my dastardly plots (So, I'm really good at not evil, I guess).

I tend to learn very quickly when I take things seriously, but I have a tendency to not take things very seriously. Also, I'm double-jointed; I can make a frog face with my hands; and I can make bird calls using only my definitely human head.
The first things people usually notice about me
"Sweet" or other variations is what I've heard the most.
"Quiet" comes up fairly consistently as well.
But I often suspect the average stranger-from-afar finds me melancholy. Once, when I met with a doctor for the first time, he came through the door and joyfully greeted me. I returned the greeting. He then hesitated and asked, with complete sincerity and sympathy, "Do you not smile?" So, although I'm actually quite caring, I have the aura of a dementor with resting bitch face.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The tours de force that are The Berenstain Bears. Midnight's Children is pretty cool too, I guess. (I took a course on The Man Booker Prize, and I have yet to read one of their winners I haven't thoroughly enjoyed.) And I suppose A Clockwork Orange is somewhat phenomenal, as well as Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit. If on a winter's night a traveler wasn't too shabby either, but The Bernstein Bears are definitely the what's what.

Movies: If someone mentions Evil Dead/Army of Darkness, they are automatically my friend. I would consider marrying someone if they managed to naturally work "Klaatu barada Nikto" into a conversation. That aside, I can be a bit snobby about movies, and I tend to favor the "critically acclaimed", though I love a good cult movie. To name a few: Let the Right One In; Oldboy; Synecdoche, New York; the original Star Wars trilogy; LoTR; anything by The Coen Brothers and most of Kubrick; many more wonderful movies; and many very, very wonderfully bad movies (See MST3K reference bellow).

Shows: In the not too distant future (about next Sunday A.D.), somewhere in time and space (down in Deep 13), I've joined Joel, Mike Nelson, and their robot crew on their endless chase; I've learned most of my life lessons from Jeri Blank; I've peered into the now forgotten bucket of truth; I support the Bluth family; and wubalubadubdub. I am down with Finn and Jake; with Mal Reynolds, Bill Adama, Jack O'Neil, the Leviathan Moya et respective crews; and with Frank Underwood, Walter White, Daenerys Targaryen, and Piper Chapman. There was also a doctor I met a few times, but I never caught his name.

Music: I've been steadily expanding my musical library and can finally, with confidence, call my tastes "somewhat eclectic." I enjoy:
• Animal Collective, The Black Keys, The Dead Weather. Please note their bluesy feel.
• Daft Punk, The Glitch Mob, and Justice are my triumvirate of technical perfection.
• Pigface, In This Moment, and Gogol Bordello scream a lot. They even occasionally feature screaming ladies, and lady screams make me happy. [Hey, I know what I like.]
My favorite song is "Maggot Brain" by Funkadelic, but the true theme to my heart's ceaseless drum is "Danse Macabre". Also, I know a few musicians, some of them up and coming. Once, I even reunited Brain Chase with his old roommate.

Games: I honestly feel that game based narratives are under appreciated in the writing community, and I have come to very much appreciate story based games and games that try to change the way we look at narrative, such as Portal/Mass Effect/Skyrim/Fez/etc.
Also: DoTA, Magic: The Gathering, D&D (Pathfinder)

Food: I love food. If there is food in front of me, I am compelled to eat it. That is my primary requisite: proximity. I'm the type of person who would rather learn to make the little things; like sweet, delicious bread crumbs; instead of buying them pre-packaged. I make Indian foods, Italian foods, Lebanese foods. Basically, if it's in our around the fertile crescent, I want to make it. In other words, I craft the foods of our ancestors and absorb their ancient powers.
Six things I could never do without
French derivatives,
dad jokes,
YouTube tutorials,
and other people to do math for me.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I never stop thinking about my friends. I have managed to make a decent network of friends in town, and I cherish them all deeply. I also often wonder about the friends at school that moved on or that I left behind. Lansing can be a very lonely place for a person like me, and having people who are more than just a memory is wonderful.
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing the same thing I do every night: Trying to take over the world. Of course, by "Trying to take over the world," I mean, "Probably looking at pictures of cats on the internet."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm human and certainly not secretly a pigeon. Why would you ever think that?
You should message me if
You should message me if you have been amused by anything I've written, if you are not closed-minded or sophistic, and, most importantly, if you want to ask me something. It wouldn't hurt if you wanted to make out, but engaging in compelling conversation should be your primary concern. Telling someone something about yourself that may relate to something about them is a good start for contacting anyone, so try that. Also, please don't ask me to start a conversation when you've already started it by virtue of contacting me. I can't do anything with that. Ask anything else.
The two of us