28Martinsburg, United States
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My self-summary
I've seen things that you wouldn't believe. Dinosaurs nuzzling their young in pastures where strip malls should be. Like... eggs on a hooker's stomach. All these moments. Lost in time. Time.... to die.

Hi there! Some random facts about me in no particular order:

Someday I hope to own a small farm. But really, I just want a house goat. But unfortunately I own a house located in an area that is zoned and I will never have one. :( I weep.

I am a licensed attorney, but I have no interest in practicing. Ever.

I own a cabin in the woods. It is my secret sanctuary.

There's little I appreciate more than a well-cooked meal.

The concept of meeting new friends in person eludes me, so here I am.

I asked my friends to describe me and this is what they listed: Direct, honest, clever, creative, animal lover, good humor.
What I’m doing with my life
Enjoying it as much as possible yet taking it day by day.
I’m really good at
anything I set my mind to. *glitter cannon*
The first things people usually notice about me
My charming charisma and radiant personality.

My frequent mention of cats.

That I have the spirit of a hustler.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I haven't been on here in two years, and now literally nothing I wrote is still accurate and I'm too lazy to update it. I like my bed. It's my favorite. Also, cats... comics... spending money on toys. And other things that I'll probably never fill out because fuck it.

EDIT: Okay, here goes...

Food: Sushi, anything I cook, chicken burritos, peaches wrapped in proscuitto, chicken tikka masala... and basically everything else. Except ribs. I hate ribs.

TV: I only get 10 channels, so I mostly watched Prime or Netflix. Hannibal, Game of Thrones, Daredevil, and sort of trying to get into Mr. Robot.

Movies: Aliens, Event Horizon, Dear Zachary, The Hateful Eight, Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes, Troll 2, Maze Runner (don't judge me)... more to come...
Six things I could never do without
Sarcasm, the lowest form of wit
My cat
Close friends
The internet
Comfy blankets
I spend a lot of time thinking about
whywolves, creatures possessed by the spirit of inquiry and bloodlust.
On a typical Friday night I am
At home sleeping, surfing the web, watching movies.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
This is tough. I don't have many private things I can even think of. I'm an open book.
You should message me if
You live on a farm with tons of animals.

You like sitting inside watching demented horror movies.

You just want someone to chill with that is basically always free, but doesn't want to do anything that involves strenuous movement.

Things that are important qualities: 
1) Honesty
2) Someone with an education.
3) Someone who loves animals and also wants a mini-zoo. :) 
4) Someone who can take a joke, even at their own expense. 

And may those inspiring words from the classic “Juicy” by the late great Biggie Smalls be heard by all…“Fuck all you hoes”. That is all.
The two of us