1. I live near Bradford, but spend 3-4 days a week (and occasional weekends) in London.
2. I'm married and polyamorous. My wife and son are Oopp North, whilst Dahn Sarf I have a rather wonderful partner who I've been deeply besotted with since August 2013.
4. I love tinkering with things.
5. I love playing board games (there are SO many that are infinitely more interesting than Monopoly)
6. I'm a Grammar Nazi.
7. I work in IT.
9. I use semi-colons far too often, frequently falling foul of my own pedantry (see (6)).
10. I like marmite, waterfalls, goose-down duvets, crisp winter mornings, good beer, serendipity, Serenity, Black Books, black pudding, the wind in my hair, life, people who don't fear ignorance, musicians' music, making people laugh and lots of other things.
The unpotted summary
I've been with lushbabycakes since 1991; ours is an open marriage.
I thrive on the differences in flavours of love that one gets from different people, be they friends of various closenesseses, lovers or dearly loved. I have more love than any one person could take and
have been sharing a lot of that love with someone very special in London since August 2013.
I believe that a good friendship, a healthy dose of respect and a degree of love (in one of its many, many forms) are all an essential basis for any "relationship"; I find totally loveless sex unfulfilling.
My ideal job would be entitled "mad inventor". Unfortunately I've not found anyone gullible enough to pay me to do it. Yet.
You know that sequence in Robots where they use the "transit system" which rolls/bounces/catapults them across the city? Somewhere, someone has been paid to come up with that. I want their job. In fact, I want someone to pay me a gazillion quid to make it for real. Possibly in Lego.
Despite having worked in IT since the late eighties, I'm not a stereotypical computer-nerd. I'm fairly adept with the written word (I can use words like "adept", see?), and seem to have an ability to relate techie-stuff to muggles without their minds going sleepies.
I actively encourage Jehova's Witnesses and other wandering proselytisers to talk to me at the doorstep, as I like the challenge of trying to get them to think about what they're preaching instead of following it unquestioningly.
It sometimes works, too, although mostly they just run away or hit me with random Biblical quotes. Or random Bibles.
I've seen - and even touched - parts of David Essex that would make many a lady-of-a-certain-age swoon.
My cousin is Wreckless Eric. Extra kudos if you know who he is.
Another cousin's daughter is someone who's somewhat more famous, but you'd have to ask me in person about her.
Updated 22nd July 2016
I work from home in the Glorious West Yorkshire Countryside on (usually) Fridays, but on Sunday evenings I hop on a train and metamorphose into City Bloke, and spend the next 4 days in London.
I'm starting to build a strong bond with the East Coast line.
I've been doing this since Jan 2013, and have become rather attached to Lunnan; it's not just a place I work but somewhere I LIVE - I have a regular singing (OK and pubbing) commitment once a week and more importantly have a permanent partner.
When I'm Up North, ninety percent of my time is spent with my family, whom I adore.
I spend as much time as possible having fun with my son (which usually entails Lego, painting Warhammer figures, running D&D for him and his mates or building The Shed.)
I used to play an unnecessarily large drum-kit, occasionally augmented with bodged-up electronics and DIY-plumbing (the more things you have to hit, the less likely you'll miss) in local bands. My performance has been described as "unhinged".
Unfortunately my nomadic existence has put the kibosh on it somewhat.
However I've been able to make up for it by taking up singing again. I used to sing bass in a choir, but then I spent 20 years singing (whilst drumming) in rock covers bands. As a result I'm now a tenor and sing with a fairly good London amateur choir.
Going off on tangents. In fact, my tangents usually end up in circular arguments just so that I can attach another tangent to them.
Drawing parallels between social interaction and geometry.
Other than that... well, I'm a Jack-of-All-Trades, so I'm not exceptionally good at anything; just fairly-good at a lot of things.
Except, apparently, kissing. Or so I've been told. I think that's subjective though.
Cloud Atlas was brilliant; I was worried that they'd make a total hash of the film (it was one heck of a tall order to do it justice, after all), but it's become one of my all-time faves.
The Humans by Matt Haig is hilarious, geeky and poignant in equal measure. I adore it.
I'm planning to introduce the lad to Douglas Adams as soon as I can get away with it. He already appreciates the importance of knowing where his towel is and rates HHGttG as his favourite film (yes, he has a way to go yet....). Update July '16: We've listened to the first three audiobooks on long car journeys. He's hooked.
Speaking of kids, the Hiccup series by Cressida Cowell is brilliant.
Films I like: Heck, Idunno. I like anything that makes me laugh. I tend to steer away from the horror and thriller genres, unless it's particularly clever - Leon is superb, for instance; so is The Usual Suspects. See above re: Cloud Atlas.
As a fully-qualified geek, it would be remiss of me not to mention the likes of Bladerunner, 5th Elephant etc. I can take or leave the older Star Trek movies, although the recent ones are ace. Serenity/Firefly, though.... yeah.
My favourite film evah is probably Amélie. She is what I once was (and may yet be again). Well, apart from being female, which, as far as I know, I've never been and don't intend to become.
Or maybe Peter Sellers' Being There.
The Princess Bride comes close, too.
Music: Pffff. "Eclectic" is such a cliché, but...
I'm as happy playing drums for AC/DC's Whole Lotta Rosie as I am singing
I'm a closet prog-rocker (but not weird stuff or anything too heavy).
I like most of the cheesy stuff that I (used to) play in covers bands, from Abba to ZZ Top; a bit of Jazz, especially when appended with "/funk"; I'm rather partial to Bach, and to 15thC Choral stuff - I
And Rimsky-Korsakov and some of his Russian Muso Pals. And Steely Dan and Dave Matthews Band and It Bites and... oh, I give up. As for Big Big Train, well they're mind-blowing really. As are Dee Expus. Oh, and the sublime vocal harmonies and subtly brilliant time-sig changes so perfectly executed by Moon Safari.
So, well, loads of different stuff, really. Let's just settle for "Anything that's written and/or played skilfully and/or with real emotion. Anything."
Telly: I don't get to watch much these days, but if any of these make you say "ooh yeah!" then drop me a line...
Spaced. Black Books. Outnumbered. QI. Firefly. Horrible Histories. Buzzcocks. Suits.
There's loads that I'd probably really like but have never got around to watching. The whole of sodding BTVS for a start.
I've not watched a single episode of GoT. I've read the lot, though.
Food: lushbabycakes's steak pie. It's amazing.
Spicy food: Mexican, Curry in its various guises, anything that involves subtle (and not-so) use of chillies.
Good, wholesome, stick-to-your-ribs British Fare. The kind of stuff you get in a good pub. Rounded off with Sticky Toffee Pudding.
* Love and affection
* My wife & son
* Intellectual stimulation
* My (accursed/blessed) computer and its connection to t'internet
* Opportunities to subtly break the rules
Things I shouldn't be thinking about because I should be working. Like now. Oops.
Well... I could be working, eating, playing drums in a pub somewhere, out fixing someone's computer (again!), having a drink or meal with friends or even, even eating a nice home-made meal or watching the telly wid da fambly.
*You're in or near London at the front end of the week.
*You're wondering what the reference to speeding hippopotami is about.
* You're sapiosexual.
You shouldn't message me if:
* You want 100% "ownership" of me. Nothing would separate me from my wife & family, or from my beloved. Sorry.
* You have forgotten how to write English and instead use that weird language called txt spk that you think is so cool. Or you don't believe in punctuation. Or think that "lol" is punctuation. Or elipses, for that matter.
* You fear ignorance, and when a conversation turns to something you know nothing about, you'd rather attempt to bullshit than admit you're not familiar with it. This one's a dealbreaker.
* You haven't read this profile. So if you just skipped to the bottom (you know who you are), go back up to the top and read it again, properly! There will be questions!