49Chester, United Kingdom
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Little boxes! Little boxes! I think they kind of reduce us all to something less than we really are. All these short profiles and tiny photographs... your head can get dizzy man.

Well I want to break free of the confines of my box and say...I'm a real person! I'm typing this at 6pm on Sunday March 11th as a pointless FA cup tie plays itself out in another room (well on the TV actually, my lounge is not THAT big!) and my sister disappears with my Dyson that she's borrowing because hers is broken and whilst one of the cats tries to tear the other's tail off and redesign him as a Manx!

Let's move swiftly to my good-ish points: I'm a genuine type of bloke who is certainly not looking for some shallow meaningless flaky kind of relationship; I have minimal baggage by virtue of the fact that my ex-wife lives in Spain and we haven't got any kids. I have super-flexibilty as regards my work and my time as I'm self employed (in an offbeat offshoot of the legal profession) and get to choose my own hours; being your own boss means never having to say :you're fired! I am currently in lengthy negotiations with myself for a decent break at Easter :-)

If I were a small Scottish village I would be Inverkeithing; If I were a lightbulb I would be a Tesco Own Brand bayonet fitting, three to a packet type; If I were a harlequin I would be a harlequin; If I were taller I would be ducking through low doorways; If I were on a space hopper I would be a bloody idiot; If I were a biscuit I would probably be a bourbon...or possibly a Jaffa Cake just so I could provoke a long and heated discussion as to whether I should be classified as a biscuit at all! (Your thoughts on this topic would be welcome).

Sticking with snacks, I eat plenty of celery, dates and yoghurt and apparently I am quite noisy when eating crisps so obviously I'm far short of perfect. But, as Grace Jones once sang, I'm perfect for you. Possibly. By the way, that reference may be slightly obscure but don't worry because I can rustle up a compilation of forgotten 80's music at the drop of a fedora. Or a snood (remember them?)

What else? Well I got into boxing last autumn and do at least 30 minutes a day. It's one of the few ways of keeping fit that doesn't bore me to tears. I cycle. I walk my two rescue dogs, religiously, every day. (Don't worry I don't wear a full cassock and bishop's pointy hat.)

I can cook, play the drums and bleed a radiator but not simultaneously. If I said I loved Bridget Jones, 'I will Survive' and Desperate Housewives you would immediately know I was lying through my teeth.

Or gay.

So I wont. Off the top of my head I will go: American Beauty, Roxy Music and CSI, but those three represent the tip of an iceberg of Titanic proportions. In other words I like a lot of stuff, but lengthy lists are a pain to type and a pain to plough through for you. But if you have the patience then see below.

Anyhoo, I'm looking to meet someone within say 25 miles of Chester (my last relationship was long distance and it does put a big strain on things from the outset) and preferably with a pound that they can lend me to put in a Tesco trolley. You will get it back I promise. So if I seem just the right side of the interesting/crazy line, then feel free to message me. If I'm the wrong side then you stopped reading hours ago. (By the way, your call may be monitored and used for training purposes. The level of interest in a relationship may fall as well as rise. No animals were hurt during the drafting of this profile.)

I am Gelogenic, Rammsteinian, and Undaunted
What I’m doing with my life
Travelling between Liverpool, Southport, Manchester, Birmingham and home, being a self-employed legal draftsman type dude, spending time with my wee hounds and cats, seeing friends and family, keeping a single eye open for the one true love who may walk into (or just along the edge) of my life. Still writing a few bits n bobs, lyrics, poems, outline scripts, the next great novel to sum up the zeitgeist. Building a log cabin. Seriously.

Went to the Edinburgh Fringe last year, that was pretty good; lived in London for a while, been to Paris, Amsterdam, Rome, Barcelona, Cologne, at home I feel like a tourist; would like to see Prague next or maybe Tokyo.

Or Runcorn.

Still play those drums I have left in my house (ie the ones that aren't under polythene in the garage) but I can't be bothered to join another band. Even at the lower end of rock n roll there are still 95 parts waiting around to 5 parts actually playing...

I’m really good at
Putting some wheels under Mrs. Mills and saying 'How's that for a jumbo jet?'
The first things people usually notice about me
My hair being on fire.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(A) Shakey-Neil Young Bio A Year with swollen appendices-Eno Money-Martin Amis Philip K Dick Marcus Gray-Last Gang in Town Revolution in the Head Trainspotting-Irvine Welsh The Writer's Handbook Private Parts-Howard Stern The Dice Man Terry Pratchett Mojo Uncut Word Framley Examiner

(B) American Beauty This Is Spinal Tap Brazil Withnail and I Hellboy Pan's Labyrinth Gladiator LOTR An Evening With Kevin Smith The Tenant One Day in September Dont Look Back Donnie Darko Spirited Away

(C) Rammstein Bob Dylan John Cale Lou Reed Lambchop Ben Folds Joanna Newsom Nick Drake Dub Echo and the Bunnymen Nico Fionn Regan David Bowie Sufjan Stevens King Tubby Costello The Cure Editors Fun Lovin Criminals Jethro Tull Nine Inch Nails Circulus Death Cab For Cutie Decemberists Tanya Donnelly Super Furry Animals Sigur Ros Cardiacs Eno Wolfsheim Aimee Mann Alice Cooper Damien Rice Mansun Muse Neil Young Ryan Adams Smashing Pumpkins Jellyfish Vashti Bunyan Folk music British Sea Power Morrissey Smiths Enough? No? OK S'more: Sol Seppy White Stripes Raconteurs Yes Cockney Rebel Gorillaz Handsome Family Kate Bush Tori Amos Syd Barrett Radiohead The Feeling Interpol Pearl Jam Frank Zappa Dresden Dolls Jazz Miles Davis Progressive Rock Van Der Graaf Generator Peter Hammill Faith No More The Hold Steady Roxy Music Tom Waits Killers Kaiser Chiefs Leonard Cohen Led Zeppelin Pink Floyd Rush Van Morrison Arcade Fire Pixies Iggy Pop Kristin Hersh Regina Spektor Tori Amos Antony and the Johnsons Queens of the Stone Age Blue October David Bowie Cocteau Twins The Doors Elliott Smith Nick Cave Birthday Party Joni Mitchell Nirvana Jeff Buckley Robyn Hitchcock Mew Yes Jake Thackray Early Genesis John Martyn

(D) Foods? OK... Curry Yoghurt Dates Apricots Tesco Family Tiramisu That will do...lets do TV instead! Vic and Bob Mighty Boosh Have I Got News QI CSI Sopranos Mock the Week The Shield Match of the Day Music Documentaries Live from Abbey Road Saxondale Boomtown Ghost in the Shell Harry Hill Dragon's Den

(E) Comedy dudes Bill Hicks Peter Cook Chris Morris Ricky Gervais John Cleese Dylan Moran Bill Bailey Frankie Boyle Eddie Izzard Ben Elton Only Joking about Ben Elton. Doug Stanhope Vince Noir Howard Moon
Six things I could never do without
Venn diagrams; Ant and Dec; photos of Jade on the cover of trashy 'Heat' type mags; the French Embassy in Switzerland; a forgotten police lock-up in Hackney; snow storms (the little dome ones you shake not the big real ones you get buffeted in)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What song lyrics actually MEANNN. Surely I should think about mortgage repayments, cheaper car insurance, inheritance tax!!!

But No!

I just think....What the hell is 'Evil' by Interpol actually about??
On a typical Friday night I am
Either out at the bars of Chester with friends for a couple of early scoops or...thinking...that I should be out at the bars of Chester with friends for a couple of early scoops.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My hair is still on fire.
You should message me if
I tried to live alone But lonely is so lonely, alone So human as I am I had to give up my defences

So I smiled and tried to mean it To let myself let go

'Cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in Take a bow, play the part of a lonely lonely heart Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in To the world you thought you lived in
The two of us