After I finish in the Army, I would like to serve in the U.S. Senate, focusing on campaign finance reform, or whatever is important at that time. Then I would like to assist in treaty making with other countries, until a one world government is formed, which I will usurp, crowning myself Emperor of Mankind (I know that sounds patriarchal, but I’m old fashioned, and frankly, as Emperor, I can do what I want… if it makes you feel better, I would absolutely share power with you as Empress… I think it would be romantic, after a fashion).
Once I have achieved planetary domination, I would like to focus on evolving my body and mind, until I am able to transcend into a being of pure energy (I would share the secret with you… more likely we would discover it together). Once we had achieved this, we could travel the cosmos on a limitless rainbow star highway manifest out of our merest thought, learning the deepest, infinite mysteries of the universe and having indescribable space sex (or whatever passes for that between energy beings).
Obviously, some of these goals are more attainable than others, but I’m looking for someone who will give them a shot with me. It’s all about the journey.
I emote far more than most men. I am capable of incredible depth of feeling. My love, sadness, infatuation and rage can manifest in levels that far eclipse most others. This rarely shows on the outside, though, because I have learned to use my mind to maintain an iron grip of control on my emotions. On the inside, I am very sensitive, but I am aware of this, and while I am easily hurt, I don't hold it against others. Far from appearing as some sissy boy, drowning in a puddle of his own tears, I often appear emotionally aloof, though I can be very empathic of others. I know when something is wrong. Fans of Star Trek will recognize this as essentially the Vulkan condition... which is probably the best way to explain it, except that I don't walk around like some personality-less jerk who's no fun to be around. I'm just very good at making it appear as though nothing bothers me.
I'm good at most intellectually based games (except chess, of course, because THAT might actually impress somebody...), and can be very competitive with my friends.
I'm also pretty good at being in charge. Not in a bossy way... I'm just very comfortable leading people in a team.
Me rites gudly.
I'm really bad at:
Asking girls out... and that's why I'm here. While I'm nearly fearless in every other respect (see "being a war vet of the 101st Airborne in the Triangle of Death"), I have serious reservations about asking out a girl I like (see "being a sensitive little bitch"). If I have messaged you, it means that I have looked at your profile all the way through at least a half dozen times, read all of your questions, comparing them to my own, and studied all of your pictures while trying to work up the gumption to say something. If you could message me back, even to politely decline, I would really appreciate it.
Realizing a girl likes me. I am clueless. Seriously. You could take your bra off in front of me and throw it in my face, and I would not get the hint. Being mysterious and coquettish is fun and all... but eventually you're just going to have to spit it out.
My clothing. I will be well dressed, but not in a way you're used to. You will likely find it strange, but compelling at the same time. At least, that's the hope.
My confidence. I will appear very self confident without being full of myself (at least people say I exude confidence). I will seem cool, calm and collected. That is not what is going on inside my head. My mind will be shrieking insecurity at me the entire time when we meet. In fact, the more confident and in control I seem to you, the more nervous I'm likely to actually be. If you could see inside here, you would be as flabbergasted as I am as to why people think I'm confident. Luckily, you're out there, so you just get to see me being suave. Lucky you.
Movies: The Flight of Dragons, The Last Unicorn, Heavy Metal, Harold and Maude. If you own or enjoy any of these four movies… we’re basically already friends. Additionally, I like fantasy/sci-fi movies (shocker), action, and classics. I’m not into cheesy horror movies… at all. Classic monster movies are awesome. Anime, particularly anything studio Ghibli has ever done. Anything weird or smart.
Shows: assuming these are T.V. shows… Futurama, anything Seth McFarlane, any cartoon intended for adults, anime, the first three Star Trek series, The Office. Anything funny and smart. I usually like something mindless on to be noise for when I’m painting or something.
Assuming it’s not T.V. shows… I like metal concerts, stand up comedy, magicians… I would love to dress to the nines and go to the opera. I also like some plays. Cyrano de Bergerac is a favorite.
Music: My car has a six CD changer (I know… impressive) It currently contains:
1 Perfect Strangers – Deep Purple
2 Comalies – Lacuna Coil
3 Greatest Hits – Judas Priest
4 Dream Evil – Dio
5 Mob Rules – Black Sabbath
6 Rising – Rainbow
So… I like metal music… but not screamy stuff. I also like classical and jazz. No country or rap. Guilty pleasure CDs… Pat Benatar, KC and the Sunshine Band, Earth, Wind and Fire. I like to fall asleep to gregorion chant music on Pandora... but just as I'm almost asleep, some stupid advertisement starts blaring something about airline tickets at me. I'm not buying plane tickets at one in the morning. Not tonight, anyway.
Food: Unagi… if I had to pick one thing… sinfully delicious unagi would be my only food. Dim Sum is a close second. My favorite restaurant in Seattle is the Honey Court in the International District. Every time I have been there, I have been the only white person there. That’s how I knew it would be good. Sadly, they don’t have Unagi, being a Chinese restaurant and all, but their dim sum is awesome. Minus chicken feet… I never can figure out what exactly I’m supposed to be eating with chicken feet.
Art: Some people have been adding works of art or artists to this list, and I thought it was a cool idea, so here goes. Michelangelo is the greatest artist who ever lived. My favorite work is the Pieta. Raphael is a respectable second, but I don’t like his cherubs. Leonardo is largely overrated as an artist, but was clearly a genius in almost every other respect. Donatello is my favorite ninja turtle. In general, I like medieval and Renaissance religious paintings, particularly depicting angels. I don't like the modern depiction of angels as cute babies or women (damn you, Raphael!), because in the Bible, angels were always warriors who struck fear in all who saw them, and while I don't think they have genders, so to speak, they did always manifest as male and took male names (yes, Gabriel is a boy's name... it became feminised later as Gabrielle... in Hebrew, it is always male). I like stained glass, wrought iron, stonework and anything that evokes imagery of castles or cathedrals.
My ideal form of transportation would be a chariot pulled by wolves. Wait, I can be more creative... a flying chariot pulled by a brace of phoenixes that leaves trails of fire like the Delorean. There.
I am an Eagle Scout. I spent most of my Scouting days committing arson and not getting caught for it.
I have fairly attractive feet for a guy.
Your cat, the one who hates everyone and never lets anyone touch him, likes me and will approach me at his earliest convenience.
I always have a calligraphy nib with me.
There is a book on almost every flat surface in my house.
The first concert I went to was for Weird Al Yankovic.
I am wearing a toe ring that I made.
I fucking hate soccer.
I can fold a paper crane out of a 1cm x 1cm piece of paper.
I haven't owned a pair of blue jeans in 15 years.
I think it would be fun to be a taxi driver… but the way taxi companies work, it’s basically indentured servitude, so no, thanks.
If you like soccer... I will reluctantly tolorate it, but I will cheer every injury on principle.
I have two opposing cowlicks on my forehead, and when my hair was cut short for the Army, I looked like Eddie Munster.
I think Halloween is the greatest large-scale psychological experiment ever conducted.
Your mother will love me. Your father will begrudgingly respect me. He won't like my earrings, but he'll be reassured by my handshake.
You are smart! I'm an intelligent person, and I get bored with people who can't keep up. This is compounded by the fact that I like younger women, who tend not to know as much (just like anyone wouldn't). I don't mind the ignorant... education can fix that, but you can't fix stupid.
You aren't fat! It's not out of shallowness, but I've spent many long, grueling hours at ungodly times of the day torturing myself in unmentionable conditions (anything from freezing rain to 140 degrees... no exageration!) to have the modestly attractive body I have now... and I think I deserve someone who can match me in that respect. I don't need a Venus (though I'm certainly not shoving you away), but physical attraction is important to me, and overweight women don't do it for me. I have lots of big girls for friends, and I wouldn't trade them or change them, but I don't want to date them. Sorry. (Edit: If I messaged you, I don't think you're too big for me. I didn't write this to mean that I am only interested in a waif, but very large women are a no-go.)
In general, I tend to be attracted to petite Caucasian women, with natural red hair being a plus, but I can be attracted to women of any race. I gravitate toward "alternative" girls, mostly because they tend to be the ones who are attracted to me, but I can be just fine with a "normal" woman who is otherwise accepting of my idiosyncrasies.
I have no qualms about a woman contacting me first. I like a strong woman, and I don't feel that it shows desperation. I can respect someone who plucks up the courage to talk to me, and I feel it's important to respond to everyone who tries, regardless of our compatibility. Worst case scenario, I will honestly, but gently, tell you that I'm not interested. I would ask for the same for me.