34Düsseldorf, Germany
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My self-summary
Note: I am _only_ looking for incredibly fat chicks right now. We're talking elephant fat, hippo fat, walrus fat. If you can walk without assistance, I'm not interested. Also, if I contacted you, yes, that probably means I've either made an exception, or that you're amazingly fat.

That said, I will speak with non-fatties as well. One simple rule though: if you have the word "cat" in your name, as in the house pet, you'd best look like Jessica Alba or something.

Another reason to make an exception is if you're a bi or bi-curious girl who wants to have fun with me and a lady-friend of mine. She's young, firm and Asian. You know you want to!

Anyway, about me. I'm an introspective, philosophical, philanthropic, reasonably eccentric person who lives to improve and win at life. In a state of perpetual depression over all the mundane, take-for-granted aspects of your life that I will never, ever know. Voyeurism for me is to chat with people from so far away that I can't even begin to imagine what their version of the same ol' shit I engage in looks like.

Let's establish right off the bat: if we have a less-than-perfect match %:age, you're simply wrong/dumb. Click through to my answers to get the truth. You owe it to yourself to self-educate.

I find this funny:

... just to give you an idea of my sense of humour. Which is a very important aspect of my life.

Oh, and if you can listen to this without wanting to shake even a little bit, you suck:

Finally, if you're into the whole "labels" thing, I'm an ENTJ according to the Meyer-Briggs thing. This link explains it nicely:
What I’m doing with my life
Just moved to Germany from England (where I'd moved from Sweden - I do move around a bit, yah). Looking for new friends to share in the awesome success story that is my life. :)

As I keep getting asked where in the world I'd go that I haven't lived already, I'd say it's a bit of a toss-up between Japan and the US. US would be easier because of the language, but that on the other hand makes Japan that much more exotic. Maybe I can go to Japan via the US. A bit of an extended layover of a couple of years or something.
I’m really good at

Also, staying young at heart and opening people's eyes to the many truths of the human experience. Also, SC2 (no, not really, I'm pretty bad but trying to stay positive).

Used to play the drums - trained as a musician for much of my younger days. Have also done a bit of freelance hackery for specialist press, writin'n'stuff. I blog, but your eyes couldn't take the beauty, so I'll spare you the URL until you're ready.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes, my accent (no, it's not American, sh-iiiiiet) and my butt - when they think I'm not looking.

In some cases, they are greeted by my saying, in a sort of panicked voice "what is wrong with your faaaace". This mostly happens in England, I'll admit.

I think my sarcasm kind of sticks out too. I'm nice though. Kind of like these guys:

Recently found this too. Quite pertinent:
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Book: God is not Great by Hitchens - I miss you so much, Hitch!
Film: Fight Club
Music: This Father/Daughter combo:
TV: South Park
Food: Good food - Düsseldorf is a haven for spectacular Japanese chow, luckily
Six things I could never do without
My computer, my running shoes, my wallet, my tongue, my passport and my name

... also, that little thing at the base of my dick that brings all the girls to the yard. I have no idea what it's called, so it's not on the list. But I couldn't do without it.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I met your mother.

Edit: After a bit of confusion I've realized that there is, apparently, a television show with that same name. I've never seen it. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I actually met your mother. It's a funny story, you should ask her about it sometime.

Also: How much more I could do with my life if I just had enough time. Also, fun jokes, training programs and boring stuff like love and the human experience.
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing something fun after a full week of... doing something else that's also fun.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm geek-famous. For serial.

Also, if I were to meet up with someone from here, I'd bring tear gas.
You should message me if
You are not a practising Christian or Muslim. Jews are welcome, unless they are too dogmatic about shit. Jains are more welcome the more Jain-y they are (turns out that the more batshit crazy a Jain is, the less we have to worry about him or her). Other religions I will deal with on a case-by-case basis. Seriously though, if you really think the universe was created for your benefit, you are actually insane and should kill yourself to rid our common gene pool of your stupidity. It must not be allowed to reproduce.

Quick tip: don't push me on the topic of how I make my money, that's about the most uninteresting thing you can do. I'm very proud of what I do and what I've achieved, but it doesn't define me any more than my flat or the contents of my fridge. That said, I must admit that I wouldn't mind dating someone who knew exactly who I was and what I did without ever having met me. Even passing the litmus test of knowing the kind of products I've made by just by their names (Fifa, Kinect Sports, theHunter, Just Cause, Futurama to name a few) is actually pretty hot in its own right.

Oh, before I forget: gold-digging is just pathetic, as is caring about nothing but appearances. I find it impossible to respect anyone who was born with a brain, a nice set of tits, a slim waist and a fine ass, and who has then gone through life without ever realizing which of these assets actually has the slightest chance of mattering to the universe. The whole thing is insulting to humankind.

Finally, please do your best to string a proper sentence together. I have absolutely no beef with people not having English as their first language or anything. Just do your best to not sound like a total idiot, mmmkay? :)
The two of us