If you DO want to message me, please have the courtesy to read the below diatribe.
Why? You ask. Two reasons.
One: it will demonsrate the literacy and intellect necessary to carry on an actual conversation.
Two: it will show that you are actually interested in getting to know ME and aren't just looking for a flesh sock into which to shove your meat stick. If that is what yoy ARE looking for, best of luck to you; but please move along...I am not the one for you and I won't waste my time in pretending.
It's been a while since I've been on here.. I got jaded.
So yeah, I'm a little bit weird...I think mostly 'cause I'm amused by simple things (which works for me 'cause I like being amused and that makes it fairly easy)...I love to laugh and I laugh at some of the WEIRDEST shit
I'm looking for more than just a one time thing...but I don't believe in monogamy, nor do I expect it of my partners...which is why I *do* always insist on condom usage with play..I just like making new friends and then fucking them :) and I don't think there is anything wrong with that... "friends" being the operative term... that part had to happen first
I also like....cooking, baking, gardening, laughing, tickling children, laughing at retards, people watching, running around naked (no really...I'm a nudist) and a whole bunch of other stuff but you're probably bored by now....so I'll stop.
I am a weirdo oddball freak (quirky, if you're being nice)...and I like it that way...sweet, kind, morbid, sarcastic, punch-you-in-the-face bitchy if you fuck with my friends...easy-going, laid back, get along with most people and if you aren't one of those people then FUCK YOU (bwahahahaha)....
Oh and if you can't handle my sense of humor don't even bother trying to talk to me.
Books - I read a lot....a LOT...my primary genre of choice for sheer entertainment value is Science Fiction/Fantasy ('cause deep down I'm a sucker for dragons and fairies) but I will pretty much read anything recommended to me. I don't read a lot of harlequin romance-y type stuff (prefer to make my own ..). If I had to pick 1 absolute favorite book it would be Stranger in a Strange Land. I re-read that one at least once per year.
Movies/TV- meh... there are some movies that I really like but most of them are brain candy...fun but not good for you and shouldn't be overindulged. I didn't have a TV growing up so I still don't have a lot of patience for the goddamnnoisybox. I think it's mainly that commercials make me want to whallop people over the head with a tube sock full of wood screws. If someone recommends a show to me I'll watch the first episode, and if I like it I'll download the series so I don't have to be bombarded with commercials. Some of the stuff that's made the cut is Firefly (*sniff*), Dr. Who, Eureka, True Blood, Invader Zim (I miss you Cupcake!), Red Dwarf...I do watch a few news shows online to stay up with what is happenning in the world.. but that's about it..
I do find vast amounts of entertainment in extremely fucked-up cartoons that I find online...
Outdoorsy stuff - I'm a walkaholic...so any place I need to get to...I walk. So if you live far from Renton, keep in mind that I am walking or bussing...unless you want to pick my happy ass up. I also LOOOOVE to swim...anything that involves complete immersion in water (preferably while naked) I'm totally down. Hiking, camping, just finding a spot in the middle of the night to lay on my back and look at stars...all of these things make with the groovyness
Physical Stuff ('cause I know some people are into all that): I'm 5'11'' (yeah...tall), 250lbs (yeah...not skinny)..but I hold myself well and I'm unapologetic about it... I have blue eyes, dark hair
Sexual stuff ('cause it saves time...those question things take forever to go through):
Things that I am into include (in no particular order), but are not limited to; hours of play (not much for quickies), blindfolds, bondage, estim, ice, toys, multiple people (aka 3somes, 4somes, orgies), flogging, anal
Things that I am NOT into; pee, poop, blood, rim jobs (for me or for anybody else), fucking a dude with a strap on (just not my thing) (NO REALLY... STOP ASKING)
if you understand the nature of the word Grok
if you're willing to put up with (or perhaps join me at) my penchant for karaoke...if you want to date..not just sex (although I do like that... 'cause that's fun) but I want to find someone to go out and do things with
But if you want to talk to me...engage my brain...messages that only say "Ur hawt lol" get automatically deleted
Things you should know about me before we start chatting... I don't drive..and I don't host (unless I get to know you really really well).
What I'm looking for -- In as much of a nutshell as I can fit:
I am looking for people who don't have the seemingly cultural mandate of shame surrounding sexuality. People who accept their sexual nature as a part of themselves and don't put the emotional significance on sex that "normal" people do.
At the same time, these people would need to have something in common with me; interest-wise; and be able to carry on an intelligent conversation. In short, friends. People with whom I can be comfortable.
Perhaps the category of "casual sex" is a mis-label. I am very casual about my sexuality and sexual encounters, however, I only fuck my friends. I have to *like* you before I'll fuck you. :)
So, ideally, this is how this will work. You (random ubiquitous internet person) will read my profile (hopefully, but don’t worry, I’ll be able to tell if you didn’t) and decide to send me a message…with actual words…preferably spelled correctly. Hopefully this message will convey that you are a cool person and I should actually take time out of my day to respond to you.
I will then read the message (usually within a week, I don’t actually check them all that often) and depending on the above criteria, will check out your profile.
If after the requisite check for sarcasm and wittiness I think I would like to meet you, I will reply to your message…usually by telling you what local (to me) karaoke establishment I will be frequenting next.
Should you choose to join me, we will then meet (see how that works…not months of email or text messages; actual human contact). This is why, if you live in another state, I’m probably not going to respond to you.
Once we reach the “actually meeting” point it’s more a matter of chemistry than anything else. Do you keep me entertained (not hard, I am *very* easily entertained); do I do the same for you? Do we have similar interests and sense of humor? Do my silly random references to Red Dwarf, or Invader Zim, or Charlie the Unicorn make you giggle? This is where being a stoner comes in handy.
What most people on this site don’t seem to understand is that the friendship and desire to hang out with you because you’re an actual cool person with which to hang out MUST be established before there will be any sex. Oh, and if you’re married (as many people on this site seem to be) I *will* meet your partner before you and I have any intimacy.
Assuming that all goes well on this first meeting, well we go from there…usually to hanging out in a more intimate setting on a weekend. But let’s assume for the sake of this particular exercise that we get to the point where we are fucking (because that’s what its all about right? Tell me I’m wrong; but first, go research the art, music, patents and inventions that were developed by eunuchs).
This is where it tends to get tricky…because for some reason, boys seem to think that if they are putting their cock somewhere, theirs should be the *only* cock that uses that space.
This is my idea of a great “R”elationship. I want to hang out with somebody and then have sex (‘cause it’s fun)…in most cases, you will be the first call I make. But, I want sex NOW so if you are not available, I will be making other calls. I say ‘in most cases’ because sometimes I want sex a certain way; sometimes, I want sex with a girl; and that doesn’t mean I want you to join in.
Now keep in mind, I fully endorse you having the same exact freedoms and licenses.
And now, just to prove that you are literate, if you DO decide to message me; please include the following information:
a) Your name, or how you like to be called
b) Your general geographic location; again I am trying to find people in my area
c) The last book you read for pleasure
d) What you would like to do on an initial meeting/hangout/date, however you want to stylize it (keep in mind, this WILL be a public setting)