44 San Francisco, United States
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My self-summary
Troublemaker, but all for good. If your intentions are to test me, best bring your A game 😉

... also proudly geeky, often goofy, and pragmatically optimistic

Amy Schumer and Kristen Schaal are personal heroes

Two items:

1) "I'm just an average/laid back guy who is looking for a partner in crime."

Stop. Start again. You can and must do better. No self-respecting woman will respond with anything other than the scorn that BORING cliche invites

2) If you have to ask about how/why "Middle Eastern" describes me, be prepared for the reply, especially if your moral fiber stretches wide enough to justify the abuses meted out to Palestinians

If we're all on the same page, please proceed...
What I’m doing with my life
Writer and curator (corporate collection in SF and indie projects)
I’m really good at
In no particular order:

Kissing. I've been described as a "barn burner." That's about right..


Raising your temperature, and maybe more, simply by wearing a little black dress and heels.

Being the person saying something crude at full volume when the music cuts out... yeah, that's me. That's why my best friend went to parties with me in college
The first things people usually notice about me
Wanton/womanly curves

Long stride and a fast walk, even in heels

Crimson curls that, when at full length, bounce when I laugh
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

This site attracts an unusual number of good-to-great writers, and their gifts should be shared. This portion of the profile is a bit wild and wooly in terms of length, so I cut it back. Here are a few selections...

"You like how the lights in Vesuvio remind you of when you first moved here."

"The best sound is when you hold your breath and sink to the bottom of the swimming pool and all you hear are the distant muffled garbled bubble voices and the quiet whispers of your own thoughts. Floating."

Current fascinations...
Amy Friend
Jessica Eaton

Deep obsessions...
Hiroshi Sugimoto
James Turrell
Henri Cartier-Bresson
Leon Levinstein
Cindy Sherman

Writers/theorists/critics, or "the geeks in whom this geek finds inspiration"

Allan Sekula, Charlotte Cotton, Roland Barthes, Benjamin Buchloh, Susan Buck Morss, Judith Butler, RETORT, Arthur C. Danto, Claire Bishop, David Levi Strauss, Ariella Azoulay, Christopher Knight, Tyler Green, William Poundstone, Susan Sontag, Lucy Lippard, Theodor Adorno, Michel Foucault, Gayatri Spivak, Alan Trachtenberg, Rebecca Solnit, A.D. Coleman, Steven Dubin, Doris Kearns Goodwin, David McCullough, David Sedaris, Fredrick Jameson and Jonathan Sawday.

Current reading selections:

Long and non fiction -
Robert Oppenheimer: A Life Inside the Center (Ray Monk)
The Invention of Nature (Andrea Wulf)

Professional development -
Afterimage, Afterall, Frieze, Filip, and Aperture magazine

David Rakoff, you are missed

If you're curious, ask and I'll provide links to my writing at Strange Fire Collective, Humble Arts Foundation, KQED, Art Practical, and SF Camerawork


2016 has brought startling losses. First David Bowie, and now Prince...

The soundtrack that accompanies my life includes everything from AC/DC to Hank Williams to Glenn Gould (thanks for the edit assist!)

Current current obsession:
Tribe Called Quest (praise be!!)
Lianne Le Havas

Reply All
The Allusionist
Grammar Girl
This American Life
Stuff You Missed in History Class
Frieze Art Fair, WireTap
Stuff You Should Know
Bad at Sports
The Moth
Hardcore History

White-knuckle addictions...

House of Cards
Game of Thrones
True Detective (DO NOT ask me about the hot mess that is Season 2, unless you seek a detailed rant condemning nearly every aspect of the show)

Recent favorites: The Crown, River, Hinterlands, The Walking Dead


Scene selections from a few favorites...

... when Slim says "you know how to whistle, don't ya Steve?"

... when Lisa walks in to Jeff's apartment, flushed with accomplishment, after Thorwald reads the incriminating note. The look in Jeff's eyes is a mix of pride and unfiltered adoration

... when the mothership blasts Roy's electrician's truck with light and subliminal messages of both terror and the sublime

... when Sydney finds Dith in the Laotian Red Cross camp, and their shared trauma comes to an end

... when Ferris, Cameron, and Sloan find themselves in a taxi next to the one Ferris' father is riding in, and Sloan takes matters into her own mischeivous hands

... when Lester stops, and Angela's innocence is spared

... when Elinor learns that Edward isn't married, and tears overwhelm her stalwart emotional fortitude

... when The Joker forces Batman to reckon with his own menacing potential

Recent winners: Loving, Manchester by the Sea, Moonlight, Eagle Huntress

Thank you, JJ Abrams, for saving the imaginative soul of an entire cinematic generation. Ask me how much I LOVE Episode 7

I love it. I you ask nicely, I'll cook some for you. Chances are you'll be licking your fingers throughout...
The six things I could never do without
Presuming the basic necessities of life (air/water/food/toothpaste + brush/shelter) are accounted for...

The love of my life, mx-eris
Vigorous and frequent exercise
My family and friends
Access to art, artists, and arts institutions
The oxford comma

The little "things"...

Being in mixed company when someone runs their mouth about "all Arabs being terrorists." There are moments when being a white-passing woman demands the loudest and least forgiving rant I can summon

Red-haired men. My ginger brothers, you don't know how delicious you are

That moment after my cat leaps from the ground, before she alights on our bed

Loud, snorting, body-shaking laughter with family and friends

A full tank of gas and an un/known destination

The feeling of my heart pounding against my ribs mid workout

The sound of crickets on a warm night

Arriving just in time to catch a bus or train

The first sip of bourbon, and the warmth it brings to my skin

Eating with my hands, and then savoring the taste on my fingers

A seductive smile, suggestive of the fun that is about to unfold

Men in tailored suits, particularly involving checkered shirts and dark ties. I *might* have a wee crush on John Oliver
I spend a lot of time thinking about
... Sex

More detailed...

How did I talk my way out of that "vandalism" fine?
(It wasn't vandalism. The bus was operating, and no one was injured. There are plenty of Muni buses rumbling around San Francisco's streets with that repugnant, Islamophobic vinyl poster plastered on the side. If the powers that be who support the protracted genocide of Palestinians have to pay a bit more money, that's FINE by me.)

How to write more critically without retreating to jargon

How to live in the now, and not worry about what comes next

Which historical moment I would witness if I could travel in time

How to remain hopeful and stridently engaged as darkness, in myriad forms, threatens to overwhelm our world
On a typical Friday night I am
Writing, or cooking, or on a date, or...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've never been hit on or picked up (one follows the other, right?) at a bar.

If we're friends, I'll do damn near anything to make you laugh

I giggle at the most inappropriate times. Yes, this includes funerals. It's a nervous reaction...mostly

My first crush was Bugs Bunny

I'd love to meet/play with a bi-male couple. Being a guest star is SOO much fun!
You should message me if
A few notes:

If you voted for Trump, MOVE. THE. FUCK. ON. There is no common ground to be found here. Even if you don't accept the terms "racist" or "misogynist" or "fear-monger", that's exactly what you not-so-tacitly support by voting for that ambulatory abomination.

Please DO contact me if...

You have more to say than "Hey" in your first message. Single word messages will be deleted immediately and you will be mocked for lacking creativity and spine.

You are comfortable with a partner who is in a committed, open marriage.

You are between the ages of 30 and 50.

You live in San Francisco, Berkeley, or Oakland.

Please DO NOT contact me if...

You are only looking for a bed warmer.

If you and your partner have recently (6-12 months) opened your relationship, I wish you the best of luck. I'm happy to field questions and/or offer advice if you ask, but I'm not interested in dating.

If your favorite sport is slut shaming, again, move the fuck on. Or do, and be prepared for the verbal beat down you richly deserve.