35Seattle, United States
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My self-summary
Thank you for clicking on my face.

Things about me:

I'm originally from Southern California and I moved to WA three years ago. My time here has consisted of design, dive bars, kickball, petting dogs, being compared to the unibomber, and having conversations with strangers in bars.

If we exchange messages I will probably ask you to happy hour or something else fairly quickly. I'd just rather meet in person... and I will never ask you to coffee. There are certain principles in this life I am willing to compromise, but getting to know you over the backdrop of "endless sipping noises and clinking spoons" is never going to happen.

I am sincerely un-hip... hopefully you would describe that as "charmingly un-hip", and not "tragically un-hip". This is ok though, because I'm open minded and willing to talk about why you love the new [POPULAR SOCIAL THING] so much.
What I’m doing with my life
I live in Seattle and work completely at home in my gym shorts 5 days a week. What a life!

When I moved to Seattle I did so for no particular reason. After being here about a year I decided I should buy a house... for no particular reason. And now I'm filling out an online dating profile... you can probably figure out the reason for this one.

Getting drunk and having conversations with strangers, and sometimes people from the internet. If this doesnt sound like your thing, pretend I wrote about camping or rock climbing instead.
I’m really good at
Using a method of sarcasm which is so subtle it cannot be perceived by some human brains, leaving the other person to miss the sarcastic device, get mad at me, and sometimes de-friend on Facebook.

Words. I subscribe to "word of the day" emails... if you send me a response back with "WORD OF THE DAY!" I will reply back with today's entry.

Lists. To the point that sometimes when I get something done, and it wasn't on a list, I will write that item down and then cross it out.

Speaking extemporaneously. Just try to find a subject I cant talk about and endlessly tangent off of.

This question should be re-titled as, "humble brag about yourself and then use mild self deprecating humor to make yourself not sound like a douche!"
The first things people usually notice about me
Certainly not the final fantasy hair.

That I talk loud. I can't help it... I have the type of voice which tends to carry and when I'm excited about something I tend to RAISE MY VOICE WHEN I TALK ABOUT IT AND... oh, sorry... see, that's what I was talking about...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums.

I eat any type of food-- any. Especially foods that others tend to loathe because I like things that are distinct. The exception to this is gefilte fish, which I'm starting to believe is just an example of the jewish people trolling the rest of us. Its a gelatinous mess.

I read a lot... judging by what other people usually list in this category for books, I am probably familiar with the authors you read.

TV: Its Always Sunny, Archer.

Movies: Yes, lets go to the movies!
Six things I could never do without
I dont think I've ever read a single response to this question that moved the needle in any way. So instead I'll just mention that if your profile mentions "going on an adventure"/"seeking a partner in crime" I will show up to the date with a grappling hook and expect you not to make it weird.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Lots of people have recently told me I remind them of Archer. I'm now wondering if that's a polite way of telling me I'm being loud and yell-y.

The Universe. The increasingly likely idea that this universe and everything we have ever known is a hologram. What it would be like to endless bifurcate as I fell into a black hole. What gamma ray bursts are really like.

Why so many people have the ubiquitous weird-angled pictures of themselves rockclimbing. I rock climb on occasion and I think its great that you do as well, but cant you just tell me you like to rock climb, and Ill take your word for it? I think I already know what you look like when rock climbing 200 yards away... like a speck of a human in a harness against a rock cliff. It's tough to tell the difference between you/anyone else/Danny Devito in some of the rock climbing pics.
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably watching "Dateline". If your new spouse wants to go scuba diving on your honeymoon, he/she is trying to kill you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once dropped a girl off after a date and said, "Goodnight, I'll most likely kill you in the morning"... and she was the only girl in my demographic who hadn't seen The Princess Bride. Awkward.

How anytime I go back and read my own profile I am absolutely mortified by what I wrote and how I come off. Yes, like Skynet, I am somewhat self-aware.

I just dont care about your instagram. At all.
You should message me if
You think that maybe, possibly, I could be the type of person who you can see making physical contact with you without triggering your desire to reach for the bear mace.

You are the type of person who orders something off a menu specifically because you don't know what it is.

You got that the Phil Collins stuff was a joke.

You like bar trivia, and would like a partner.

You get that having conversations is more than just questions and answers.
The two of us