65Ambler, United States
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My self-summary
.•*˜ .•°*”˜.•°*”˜”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜*•.

♪ Wherever its sez I'm from at the top is only to keep the stupid
♥ Quiver matches away and ALL of the other local woman who has ♫ a HARD time understanding and even though it is stated a few
♪ times in this profile...FRIENDS before sex!!!!!!

BTW...I am from Ambler PA.

Thank you for stopping by...I do not like to leave messages as I would rather the woman make her decision on whether we are a match for friends or a mate.

----About this site----
It started off as Hogwarts...
Now it's Lord of the Flies!!!!


I read smoking is bad, I stopped smoking,
I read drinking is bad, I stopped drinking,
I read SEX is bad, I stopped Reading!! =))

Do you Dance?...Can you Dance?...There is a difference, and if the two are put together mixed with a splash of Style, a pinch of Passion, and a dash of Debonair. With a man and woman with the correct height and weight ratio, along with the right music tempo as they take the dance floor moving in such a rhythm where every move is an art form, an expression of desire! Yes DESIRE! The Desire to indulge into the abyss of expression. How the brain interprets the sonic personality of every pulsating rhythmic beat and accompanies the thousands of possible moves that create a display of visual art. A vertical expression of a horizontal wish! You have to hold her like the skin on her thigh is your reason for living...Let her your heart is being ripped from your chest...Pull her back...Like you're gonna have your way with her... right there on the dance floor...And then...Finish...Like she's ruined you for life! The people who watch are anticipating their next move, watching my hands as they glide over her body in a modus operandi of luxuria. From a Paso Doble into a Tango, then STOP! as we look into each others eyes, time has stood still! NO! we are not catching our breath, we just had an quintessential orgasm!
The women wishing I was dancing with them! The men wishing they were dancing with me! LOL!! Only kidding! If you have NO sense of humor, you can STOP right now and move on to one of the other bozos! Look! I am a fun guy who just got out of a long relationship, and has no intention of jumping into another. I never hit, cheated or mistreated any woman (even though I'm Italian (LOL)..;). I am just looking for someone to go out dancing with and if something is there, GREAT, if not then at least we will have tons of fun together. So ladies if you have the ENERGY, If you have the height, (5'6"-6') contact me ;) And I do not watch SPORTS! (I can even SEW!) and I am not Gay, Bi Sexual, Bi Polar or Bi Ionic and I am 100% disease free!
So what am I looking for?
Not the hook up kind (I, like all of you women can get that ANY day/night of the week.)

LATEST UPDATE: Ladies...Girls...Women, you are putting out the WRONG info."long walks"! "watch sports"! you would get BETTER response if you put in something like: At this stage of the game, I know the rules... so if you are not a Loser..Boozer..or a Cruiser...Drop me a line and I might respond!
Men are shit and please do not mention any houses you have in other places...the "REAL" Shits are out there...they already screwed up their last mates life...keep you guard up and your heart down!
Guys do think with the wrong head...but GIRLS!!!....Don't kiss with the wrong lips!
A woman that is out of control has a man to blame!
A woman that is always smiling when in a relationship has a man that is attentive to her every needs!
You all say "Knowledge is power" so why the hell don't you use it?! I am talking about a phone call to their EX!!! Not all marriages end the best and there will always be one sided stories but you can find out so much from a 10 minute phone call that will save you the hitting, cheating, laziness, drinking, gambling, drugs and so on.
I strongly recommend you download and listen to Helen Reddy's version of "I Am Woman" and on the other hand "The Way Of Love" by Kathy Kirby (my favorite) or Cher! Also a great movie even if you have seen it....see it again...."Shall We Dance."

'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.
If you give her sperm,
she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile,
she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'

Ladies keep in mind, YOU are the Tuxedo and men are just a pair of brown shoes!

NEWS FLASH Women have been wondering if there are just as many Bozos on the woman's side as they are on the men...Well ladies, this is one thing you will NEVER beat a man at...Men will ALWAYS have the crown at being a Bozo, for they are the breed that not only thinks with the wrong head but takes that head and give others (mostly women) a HEADACHE!
And YES! there is a plethora of women Bozos!

Show me a man, with a hole in his pocket,
And I'll show you a man, who feels cocky all day!
- Soupy Sales

Your only as strong as
the tables you dance on
the drinks you mix
& the friends you roll with.

Anyone need a HUG!!

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on!

I believe that you should work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt and
DANCE like nobody's watching!
Now for the joke of the WEEK ;)
When it comes to sex, I prefer a woman who likes it infrequently! (that's two words)

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car
-Emo Phillips....ThX Laura...You ROCK!

If you can't run with the BIG DOGS...
Stay the fu@k on the PORCH!
What I’m doing with my life
I have four children, 15, 17, 19, & 21, who do not live with me but I make sure they all have what they NEED. (not always want)
Trying to find a singer who is going to be the NEXT SUPERSTAR!
And NOT looking to get LAID...sorry...
I was flattered at first, now I am very concerned about the way most women are acting. They are just giving it away and falling for a picture and a well written profile.
I will wait and find a woman I am compatible with and begin as friends. (I married my best friend) Romantic encounters should follow and there will be 2, count 'em, two less profiles and one happy woman who will start the day with a smile on her face.

I am "The Key Master"
looking for "The Gate Keeper"
I’m really good at
Being good! I can't be bad...with you...or anyone! So do not get any ideas. If by some chance you do...please do it good. That is how I would do it, if I were to do it but I do not want to 'cause by doing it I would feel bad and I am not good at being bad, I'm really good at being good...WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?
The first things people usually notice about me
That I am there...Sometimes they notice me and will bump into me...that is when I check my pockets.
Some ask me for my autograph, thinking that I am Alan Alda.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
BOOKS...The cama Karma Carmel Suka....well it's the book with that thing on the front.
MOVIES...The one where the girl starts to take off her top at the salad bar and before she gets to exposing her heavily tattooed breast the waiter comes over and screams "Mom!!! what the F#@k are you doing!!!!" Well...the girl fires back "I'm notch chor fookin' mutter...I'm ya sista!
SHOWS...yeah...sometimes...but I try my best to hide it!
MUSIC...Still workin' on it!
FOOD..."No thanX...I already ate!
Six things I could never do without
One. least once a week! (I wish!)
Two. A Saleen S7 (My first hit will buy this)
Three. A History Supreme (The LAST toy I will buy)
Fore. My golf swing (I hate golf)
Five. My custom made BED! (To be reassembled)
Sex. My Imagination (Keeps me sane!)
Seven. Two more and I hit the JACKPOT (I can make you hit one too)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why I was thinking about the last thing I was thinking about and how I could of been thinking about something else!

It has been a while since I've been...well, done...(that)
So the next girl will light up like a Pinball Machine and pay-off in Silver Dollars! As I demonstrate the many years of the knowledge that I have sought and defined, to control the fire of passion as it reaches the pinnacle of pleasure into the woman I love!
(and there has been so much trial and error along the way. The way I can...well, yes can it be?...defying gravity.)

Oh, I could tell you why The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thunk before.
And then I'd sit, (clap clap)
and think some more.
I would not be just a nothin' my head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain. (do doot doo do do doo)
I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry,
If I only had a brain.
On a typical Friday night I am
Killing off Vampires with the help of my Werewolf friends.
I offered her Honor
She honored my offer
and all through the night
it was hONNER & OFFhER
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Well I will tell you 7.

Can you imagine, when your 10 becomes a 1!!!!!

I'm a quintessential idiot. INJT...The idiot
But I make up for it.

I shot J.R.

I have your Glass Slipper.

I hate the Chinese alphabet.

I love to hug...Hug in public, in line for the roller coaster, whenever I can. There is something about the hug of a woman that recharges the aura that seems to dissipate as we venture into the realm of humanity. (realm, REALM!? who da fuk uses da woid realm?)
(I DO!!! Now go f@#k Off!)

I have verbal diarrhea.
You should message me if
I do NOT owe you money!
You are NOT ready to jump into ANOTHER relationship that might go sour because you did not start asFRIENDS...'Come ON..'Don't be so Hot Ta Trot 'cause you think you met Mr. Right...Label him as Mr. Not Right NOW!...Make 'em WORK for it!
You have an idea for a song...or knows someone who can REALLY sing and is ready for stardom!
If you just want a friend to start with...
Or if you have to go to a social function and you ex might be there and you want to show off on the dance floor "BIG TIME"...who ya gonna call... (Ya Gotta Love IT!)
You want something fixed (NOT THAT!!!)
You LOVE high thread count sheets and PLENTY of GREAT pillows
enough for a pillow fight (This is a MUST)
You can keep up with an ARIES!
You want the GOOD chocolate!
And the number one answer:
If you know your way around Pro Tools, I will give you something that you never really had...
Or you can have what's behind DOOR #2

PLEASE...I do not want to meet for SEX
Really...23 years ago I would and the last part of my marriage I thought about it but I would never betray a friend. Plus why "Fuck Up!" a marriage with children involved, over something that would of never came close to what I had at home (and when she was BAD, I make her do it on the paper.)
But if you know how to achieve a TBO (Total Body Orgasm...not to be confused with an orgasm that just happened to beat ALL THE OTHERS.) and have done it MANY times and are experienced in Tantric...let's keep in touch no matter how great the distance. Info is needed to help with research
However, I do understand that there are a few Bitches that are in extreme heat and can not wait to get their fire crotch doused, so if you get permission from my good friend Helen Waite, I will make an exception and rotate your tires, lubricate your chassis, simonize your headlights, adjust your tailpipe, clean the junk in your trunk, top off the fluids under your hood and give you a tune-up that will keep your motor humming!
So if that is what you want...Go to HELL'EN WAITE
Please do not contact me if you can not read between the lines of this profile.
If your sense of humor is dissipating.
You do not have a strong sex drive.

Life is short and tomorrow is promised to NO ONE and I need a woman that wants to explore each others mind and body and to spend the rest of our days happy and satisfied while the rest of the people on this site and in the world grow old, miserable, grouchy, unfulfilled and alone!
Did people forget why they are here, out there looking...Relationships are NOT 50/50%. Do you agree?, think about it!...If you do agree, then you are WRONG!
Relationships are 100/100%


Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most people would base their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. But I say this:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Paulina, last year when I first got on OKC, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Paulina kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

How To Get Out Of A Traffic Ticket!

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

The English language

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren’t invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly,

Boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing,
Grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?

Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all
But one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And, in closing, if Father is Pop,
How come Mother’s not Mop?

----///-\\\----Put This
---|||---|||---On Your
---|||---|||---account If
---|||---|||---You Know
-----\\///-----Who Died
------///\-----Of Cancer
-----///\\\----Who is Fighting it
----///--\\\---Or who has Survived it.

WARNING: Any institutions or individuals (you BOZOS) using this site or any of its associated sites for studies, projects, advertising, sales, or any other reason-you DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. (in other words...I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN AND FUBAR YOU)*** It is recommended that other members post a similar notice.***
The two of us