I dislike Nazis, child molesters, murderers, hipsters, cooked fruits and vegetables, undersized shooting guards, ears, Monty Python, drought, bacon on pizza, grown men in sports jerseys*, men under 50 who wear hats that serve no actual purpose, obligations, Antoine Walker and chronic bed-wetting.
I like to say that my primary motivations are spite and guilt, but that's just because I'm compensating for being nice and a bit of a pushover. Much like a caveman or other primitive human, my real motivations are hunger, fear of dinosaurs** and appeasement of the sky gods. Although I'm an only child and a bit self-centered, I try to be aware of it and it kind of creeps me out that I'm using "I" so much, even if this is a self-summary.
* Exceptions made for people actually doing activities that require the use of the jersey. Like rappin'.
** I am aware of the fact that cavemen and dinosaurs only lived at the same time in awesome movies, erotic fables and The Bible.
The eventual goal is to come up with a clam flavored beverage delicious enough to destroy Clamato’s clam flavored beverage monopoly. I even picked out a name - CLAMORADE. “They clamored for Clamorade.” How clever.
I'm full of good ideas- but I’ll just be vague about them here lest someone more ambitious or competent comes along and steals them.
Anyway, I am self-sufficient, have a place in central Austin I share with 3 basenjis and am pretty content with that.
Also, I can procrastinate the hell out of whatever needs procastinating. (Which is almost everything.)
To clarify, I will put off doing the dishes. I will not put off picking someone up from the airport. I have alot of respect for other people's time and prefer that I am given the same courtesy.
In a previous life my degree path required reading many books. Books I didn’t even want to read. Somewhere along the way it killed my appreciation for fiction. I’m sure there is stuff I would enjoy it’s just hard getting past the trauma from years of literary abuse. Also, fuck you James Joyce.
Lots of Robb Walsh stuff.
I have a copy of "A Violent God Image - An Introduction to the Works of Eugen Drewermann" but I'm a little hesitant to begin - I really don't need another existential crisis in the middle of fantasy basketball season - Andre Igoudala's strained Achilles makes my existence meaningless enough on it's own. (Note- this book was not as interesting as I had hoped. And injuries ruined my fantasy basketball season fyi.)
I have some John Shelby Spong books, Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation and Tolkien's On Fairy-Stories on tap.
Movies- Mainly documentaries and comedies with a few other things mixed in. (In the Realms of the Unreal, Spinal Tap, Once Upon a Time in the West, American Beauty, Layer Cake, Last Days Here, Plagues and Pleasures on the Salton Sea)
I own Paris When it Sizzles on dvd. Quite possibly the only straight man who does. Almost certainly the only one who will admit to it.
I own Cannonball Run I and II on dvd. I am sad they were not able to complete the trilogy before Dom Deluise’s untimely death.
I have watched three documentaries on LARPing as well as Role Models so I am virtually an expert on the subject. The thing I took away from them was that they are a lot like us, but carry weapons made from cardboard, foam and tape to battle made-up enemies.
I'm thinking about getting Fandor account, but have put it off because I hardly use Netflix.
I don't watch a ton of tv, but like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Parks and Rec and The Venture Brothers.
I watched all the Trailer Park Boys on Netflix over several days but I couldn't tell you why. I have similar feelings about Bojack Horseman, which took 1.5 nights. I'm not sure if that speaks to their content or my diet soda addled brain's ability to assimilate information after binge watching.
In theory I would like a channel called The History Channel. In execution not so much. Or maybe I’m just underestimating the impact Nostradamus, UFOs and pawn shops have had on civilization.
I have grown to love the British comedy Peep Show and most things with Steve Coogan (Saxondale and any Alan Partridge vehicle). It’s nice those people have finally done something funny after 1000 years.
In Our Time
Stop Podcasting Yourself
Todd Glass Show
Let's Drink About It
The Best Show (formerly of WFMU) - really excited for this to come back and fill the giant Best Show sized hole in my heart
Music- It’s always disappointing when people just list like 100 bands here and I hate them all so I won’t do that.
Punk (Lawrence Arms) and powerpop (Plimsouls) are my favorite types.
There is a soft spot in my heart for 80s hair metal.
Not a huge fan of current indie rock. I liked it when Superchunk and Guided by Voices were the face of it. Not so much the commercial, discoey or Bon Iver-y stuff of today. This might be confirmation that I am old, and only listen to things from 20 years ago.
I like “Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash” as much as “All Shook Down” (or “Don't Tell a Soul”, whatever you consider the last real album).
I’m a big Kenny Winker fan.
If it's possible to make a statement like "I like jazz, particularly cool jazz, and would like to learn more about roots and revival folk music." without sounding like a pretentious tool then I may have said something like that. If it's not then I never said anything like that.
Kiss and Jawbreaker are, respectively, the most overrated and underrated bands in the history of…uhm…ratings. I guess.
I made a two volume yacht rock cd for my friends bachelor party. Each song was worse than the previous song. It was really smooth, but I don’t think anyone could listen to all of it in one sitting.
In the recent past, I ran a record label that specialized in older (1980s) music and I'm pretty burnt out on that.
I saw the Front Bottoms and Andrew Jackson Jihad over the summer and I felt very, very old. Great bands though.
Food- I like bbq. Lockhart, Louie Mueller’s, City Market in Luling and Cooper’s are some of my favorites. Franklin's is obviously great, but fuck waiting in line. Stiles Switch is quite good.
I can also smoke a mean brisket. I have one of them fancy ceramic grills that can get super hot or maintain a low heat for hours. And instead of expanding my horizons and learning to cook all sorts of neat stuff I chose to focus all my efforts on the cheapest, fattiest cut of meat that requires hours of cooking to be edible. Oh, and I also know the secret to a moist turkey burger.
I like Tex-Mex. Different stuff at different places. I like the sketchy chicken place on Berkman. I like the Dona salsa at Taco Deli. I like creamy green salsas in general. I can remember a simpler time when Guero’s was good. The burrito at the Sonoran hot dog stand at Burnet and 2222 might be the best thing going.
Other food is decent too, I suppose.
When I am here, I think alot about how most of my personality awards suck. I am of the firm belief (despite some evidence to the contrary) that I don't suck. The explanation is probably something like the whole being greater than the sum of its parts.
I'm also pretty content to relax in the gentle embrace of sobriety and play (more complicated) games, read or watch movies.
Casual double dipping disgusts me.
I will chew a piece of gum til it disintegrates.
I was referred to as “a classy Homer Simpson” during a break up talk. (This is prolly not entirely accurate. I’m thinking more Mark Corrigan meets Coach McGuirk.)