39 Oakland, United States
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My self-summary
I walked away from a 20 year career as a stone mason this year to make art full time. I simply refuse to fit my art into my life wherever I can manage to any longer. I think that I would rather die, frozen, underneath an overpass than ever live outside of my principles again. While I don't earn as much as I used to, I'm making a modest living as a scenic painter for stage plays and sometimes work with school kids in the arts, which are, at least, day jobs in the arts. It affords me a lot of freedom to work on my own projects and my production of paintings has become so ridiculous that I am now building a ceramics studio to be able to jump back and forth without wearing my creativity too thin in one area. I'll take you to sushi and not complain, because it's sushi and we both need it yesterday, but that means I'm probably going to eat a few more cans of tuna that week. I can hope that your company will be totally worth it. I would rather be thin because I am hungry than because I am working too hard just to build the dream of someone else. My art is enough. My art and a creative and receptive woman to share my excitement with would be better. Ideal, even.

Curiously optimistic, despite having experienced some of the worst that human nature has to offer. I am slow to bond and ridiculously loyal once bonded. Empathy and kindness are important to me, not just in myself but in a friend or a partner. I feel a certain amount of cynicism is unavoidable in this world, but I prefer to keep it to a minimum and want to be around people who feel the same.

While I'm awkward and goofy on the surface, I desire to connect with people with high emotional intelligence and self awareness. I write hundreds of pages of words that no one, in all probability, will ever read. It helps me to better understand where I've been and where I want to go.

I would rather cook us a meal and then sit in a cozy spot to talk or play a game or draw pictures than go to a loud place to overpay for crummy booze and yell over a bunch of strangers just to be able to hear each other. This does not mean I am above a dive bar. I'd just prefer if it were either on the way to or from something more intimate. I'm not opposed to watching movies or TV shows on netflix on occasion, but I tend to do it with others and avoid it when left to my own devices. I am not a media snob and I will cuddle like crazy and watch the worst Hollywood has to offer if it's with the right person.

I love books and I am completely surrounded by them in my home. I like to have conversations while taking long walks. If the conversation is good, our legs hurt before we get bored. I tend to notice things around me that other people do not even bother to consider, whether it be strange architecture or the shadows made by different trees. If I find a dead animal, I will probably at least take a picture of it if it isn't decomposed enough to get bones from.

I live in a big warehouse filled with a bunch of other wayward mammals going about our lives, but I want to die old, in a house that I built. Until that seems like it could possibly happen, I'm going to be in Oakland, painting and sculpting as if the world wanted more art, even though it might not know it needs it.

My cat will judge you. But, don't take it personally, she doesn't have thumbs.

Most of my trusted friends are women and it's probably because I know what the inside of a male skull looks like. Probably for the same reason, I desire to always improve my awareness, world outlook and interpersonal relationships. I value communication despite having difficulty getting that ball rolling sometimes.

ISFP. If you buy into this stuff, it pretty much means that I will treat you and and everyone else really well. Then I'll be upset when everyone else is not doing that. It also means that I won't share everything until you get to know me and I trust you. I'll be extremely empathetic as well. I don't know if I trust the Myers-Briggs completely. People are just too complex and dynamic.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to live it as authentically and as best as I can. Painting, sculpting, writing. Riding my bicycle everywhere. Spending time with people who aren't in a rush to get anywhere but are not stagnant. Listening to good music and avoiding television. Taking random road trips to obscure places that have great historical significance. Following dirt roads to ??? Making pasta from scratch. Wondering how anyone could ever get really, truly bored when there is so much that they could be doing right then. Plotting my escape.
I’m really good at
Introspection, talking for hours, reflection, building things, expecting too much of myself. Cutting my own hair with a series of mirrors. Wanting to know what other people really think about things. Keeping machines alive with bailing wire and glue just long enough for them to complete one final and all important task. Being the big spoon.
The first things people usually notice about me
How would I know? That I'm covered in paint? I guess that might be that I seem aloof about a lot of stuff. Over time they see that this does not have to be the case. I wear odd clothing somewhere in between formal wear and hobo. My eye glasses are a hundred years old. I smile and laugh a lot. I am not a hamburger.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Any non fiction about the 19th or 20th century and parts of the 21st. For fiction, W.S. Burroughs, Huxley, Atwood, McCarthy, Bukowski, Ginsberg, Hemingway, Stevenson, Gaiman, William Gibson are some of my favorites... and Ballard. Too many to choose from.

As for music, when I was a younger guy it was all Punk all the time. Then I graduated to Goth/Industrial until I figured out that there was so much out there to be had. If it's from Iceland, I probably love it. I like Nick Cave, BABYLAND, Tindersticks, Rasputina, Jay Munly, TV on the Radio, Continues..., The Twilight Sad, David Bowie, Amanda Palmer, The XX, Roy Orbision, Future Islands, John Coltrane, Jill Tracy, Rube Waddell, Rome, Dat Politics, Skinny Puppy, Kurt Weil, most chiptune stuff and lot's of others. I'm that horrid cliche of someone who listens to all kinds of music. There is no genre, that I know of, that I cannot at least appreciate one artist from, unless it's dubstep.

Most of the movies I watch tend to come from other countries. Aki Kaurismäki! Like my music, I am all over the map. I also watch documentaries about artists, politics, wars and regular people. There is also a huge swath of nerd shit that runs right through the middle of all that other stuff. What can I say? I like sci fi and animation.

Food? Yes. I'll cook it.
The six things I could never do without
Canvas and brushes. Music. Curiosity. A sewing machine. My closest connections. Empathy. Six more things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Making tomorrow better, or at least different, than today. What to make next? Making people around me feel comfortable. My life up 'til now. How I can not repeat mistakes myself and others have made. How did the human race make it this far? Most other moments are spent thinking about my art, or maybe what I'll make for dinner. Sometimes these thing overlap.

Do women on this site not like kind, honest men who would like a real connection and a chance to be sweet to someone, or do they think men are full of shit if we say it?

If I suck a chain through my nose, how much weight can I lift with it before my face rips apart?
Is three minutes too long to wear a burning hat?

Where are my keys?

How did I come this far already?
On a typical Friday night I am
I used to go to lots of shows to see live music. Less often now. Spending time with people who have actual things to say rather than listening to themselves talk. Ever since I built my Sauna, you can usually find me in there on just about any night. BBQing. Perhaps going to Santa Cruz to hang out with my friends there. Or maybe going to an art show. Or perhaps staying in and painting. Or making a date with Netflix. Perhaps going to bed early. Who knows? What is Friday?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'll go with the fact that I miss my dog and it makes me cry when I drive past where I buried her. That's right, I'm soft. You wanna fight about it? 20 years of stone working shrank my height by over an inch. I once waited ten months to kiss someone I liked and missed the boat. I like sex as much as the next guy, and I'm told that I'm pretty good at it, but being a good partner is more important to me. I don't attach easily, but when I do, it's a real attachment. I am able to cry and you might even see it someday. I've also been caught on more than one occasion dancing around to synthpop in my work shop wearing only underwear. I was once depressed and became number 91 in the world in an online game that has 230,000,000 players and dropped it like a hot skillet when I snapped out of it. My mind has an archival structure centered around objects and emotions. This lead me to build my home into a weird museum of my life, filled with all kinds of nick knacks that held a meaning for a particular time and emotion. Sometimes I like it when someone approaches me first. The idea of being open, sweet and tender to someone actually makes me do the opposite of throwing up.
You should message me if
I seem vaguely interesting to you. You like the idea of having a partner in life but are not desperately searching for one. You think dating can be pretty stupid but realize that people are not going to just parachute into your life and make it better than it already is. You like guys who are happy to talk for hours while he, or you, or both paint or draw. You're obsessed with syrupy synthpop or neo folk or accordions or all three. You want to try some welding or blacksmithing with me. You want to lay on a blanket in the Piedmont cemetery and read or write things together. SUSHI. You like a good sauna. You want to share your art with me. You would like to hang out and talk for a bit. You want to walk around SF or Oakland and find neat things with me. You want to play chess or a board game. You want to go see some live music or maybe a movie. You want to come over and eat food that I've prepared with fresh ingredients or want to help me prepare that meal. You want to go eat some really good food and not worry about what could happen next. Just understand that I'm not in a hurry to find someone to fill some kind of hole in my life. I'm happy with myself and I'd like to share that with others. I'd like to get to know people for who they are and share stories and common threads in our lives or learn new things from each other. My point being that we don't know if we like each other, but I'm totally willing to find that out. To do that, we'd need to actually meet and spend some time together, which seems to be a stumbling block for a lot of people on this site. If something intriguing is there and we just really like each other, awesome. We can talk about it if and when the situation arises.