24 Florence, United States
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My self-summary
I'm alright. I'm kind of fucking weird, but not in a bad way. More like a "Well... he's not the worst." kind of way. Wait I think I just under sold myself. Or over sold myself. Doesn't matter, let's put my weirdness on the back burner.

I've got a couple tattoos and I'm gonna get more eventually (thinking about checking out Mother's in Covington). I'm not interested in sports, but I'm good at faking it (especially when I'm drunk). I can't swim at all. You might think that really limits my life experiences, but I'm not a fish. So it really doesn't affect me.

This is more difficult than it should be.

I'm a really nice guy with a really horrible and distasteful sense of humor. I say fuck a lot. Too much, probably. My house might be haunted, and it also might not be. I can't really be sure. My biggest fears are wasps, drowning, and being surrounded by so many wasps that I can't breathe and effectively combine the first two fears: drowning in wasps. Wait. Fucking... what?
What I’m doing with my life
I segued past college after high school, worked a few retail jobs, wished I went to college, continued to not go to college, became a bartender, moved to a new city, and now I work in a warehouse. I like it. This is the American Dream.

I'm not one of those "You can do anything you set your mind to"-types, but I think a little motivation can go a long way. The key is to not be a complete fuck up, and it's working pretty well for me so far. I haven't really found my true calling yet, but I'm looking for it as hard as I can. Pinky promise.

I ramble. I lose my train of thought. This is my curse.
I’m really good at
Second impressions. I say that because my first impressions are usually awful, and I can't help it. I stumble through every interaction like a drunken grandmother falling down the stairs. Oh wait that's dark. Ohhhhh. This is genuinely like having a conversation with me. Can you feel the tension? It's awkward. Next time will be better.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm really positive. I like to keep the mood up as much as I can wherever I go. Frequently this involves tequila and singing. Also bad jokes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I recently read 11/22/63 which was pretty awesome. Michael Crichton is my jam, Palahniuk is my peanut butter. I really don't read much, though.

I'm a horror movie buff, and I really dig a good comedy. I really just enjoy movies in general. There's not a lot I don't like.

I went to Rock on the Range this year (primarily for A Day to Remember, Bring me the Horizon, Crown the Empire and Asking Alexandria's new vocalist) which was awesome. I'm also a big hip-hop fan. And I've got a weak spot for 80's hair metal. I'm not proud of it.
The six things I could never do without
-My friends
-Red Bull
-My memory foam mattress [Memory Foam. It remembers me. :')]
-Water (which helps me not die from all of the Red Bull and alcohol)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
We're all having an existential crisis, right? Isn't that what we all do in our 20's?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm an open book. Probably to a fault. I'll be blunt as fuck when I probably shouldn't be. Tact isn't my thing.
You should message me if
Look, I realize that the type of girl I'm looking for is most likely drinking and watching Netflix somewhere at this exact moment. She probably just wants to sit alone in her sweat pants, talk to her cat, and continue not giving a fuck about anything. But I've got sweat pants and a salty disposition, too. We can figure this out.

And bring a fat polar bear. It might help break the ice.

ha. gotcha.