RyanLikesTurtles
27 Arlington, United States
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RyanLikesTurtles
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My self-summary
This used to be a super long essay, but I've been informed that brevity is key in these things, so maybe it's time for a change of pace.

*Unashamed nerd for almost everything besides shows/movies. Anime, video games, board games, you name it. I am not embarrassed to admit that I have cosplayed and my name is forever attached to a Magic: The Gathering deck list online.
*Code monkey by day
*Fantasy writer by night. And I have very long nights.
*Metal/industrialhead, except I hate moshpits with a passion and generally have crowd anxiety.
*Did I mention that I'm an introvert? I don't hate people, just large numbers of people that I don't know.
*I breathe sarcasm, eat dark humor, and drink puns. If you make me laugh then there's a great chance we'll be good friends. If I make you laugh, prepare yourself for a barrage of horrible jokes.
*I'm an agnostic solipsist. My belief system is forged in doubt and tempered with skepticism, but I pride myself in not being a jerk about it. I'm on the existential side of the divide, although it's interesting to hear what goes through a nihilist's head.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a full-time software engineer: woo hoo code! I don't work for a tech giant and I don't make video games, but what I do is actually super complex/interesting (if you're into development/deployment theory at all).

I spend a large portion of my free time writing. I'm wrapping up the first novel in a high fantasy tetralogy, and I'm still figuring out where it should ultimately end up (ideally not on a horribly designed website forever). I like to dabble in sci-fi and psychological thrillers as well!

I daydream way too much and sleep way too little. Kind of funny how that works out.
I’m really good at
Here are some things that I have moderate proficiency at:

*MOBA's (Heroes of Newerth, Smite, DotA 2, etc). I've recently been conned into playing LoL and it's more enjoyable than I expected.
*Daydreaming
*Board/card games (euro games especially! I could write you an essay about why I loathe Settlers of Catan though)
*Apparently I'm pretty good at teaching said games as well?
*World building / plot crafting
*Moon gazing
*Magic: The Gathering
*Doing barrel rolls
*Programming (C# and Java are my forte, but I know some Lisp)
*Philosophy, particularly epistemology
*Being unnecessarily cruel to fictional characters

And here are some thing I'm not particularly good at, but am very interested in. Perhaps you could teach me some?

*Cooking, especially awesome spicy dishes or tasty pastries
*Spinning poi
*Art history
*Any ancient mythology and their sociological impacts
*Fencing
*Urban fantasy
*Historical fiction
*Finding good coffee shops in DC
*Polyphasic sleep. I used to be on the Uberman schedule in college, and I'd very much like to get back on it.
The first things people usually notice about me
Usually the height or the eyes, which seem to be the most generic responses around here. I have fairly long hair for a guy; some like it, some don't, your mileage may vary.

I am a connoisseur of cringe-worthy puns. My current favorite:

"Why is there a medical facility in the middle of a frozen tundra toward the end of Inception? It's a Hothpital."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: I'm a sucker for fantasy, sci fi, and psychological thrillers. Very in-depth world-building also grabs my interest, and I have a soft spot for dystopias. Examples: The Abhorsen Trilogy, Shade's Children, The Dream of Perpetual Motion, 1984.

Movies: If I'm going to stick through a movie, it either needs deep and compelling characters or an interesting narration style. Examples: Silence of the Lambs and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. I'm not sure if it counts, but I used to dabble in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, as you can see from one of my photos.

Shows: There are a couple that I'll watch, mostly it's comedies these days since they're easy to pick up and watch. As far as anime goes, I like things that are psychologically or artistically interesting. Examples: Death Note, Gankutsuou, Eden of the East

Music: Oh my, where would I begin. I have an eclectic taste, not because I'm a music snob or a noncomforist, but because I just tend to like random stuff. I like some metal, but the lyrics have to be intelligible and clear. If it's just nonsensical grumbling, no thanks. On the flip side, there are some more low-key bands like that I enjoy as well. Basically, if it's got a good beat and smooth lyrics, there's a chance I can dig it. Examples: The Birthday Massacre, Splashdown, Edguy, Robbers on High Street. I do have one pet peeve: if they're singing in English and I can't understand 30% or more of the words then I rage pretty hard. Enunciate!

Food: I love spicy foods even though I'm not supposed to eat them often. If you make me (or better yet teach me how to make) any kind of curry or anything involving nutella, you will instantly win my heart a hundred times over.

If you like engrossing stories and/or deep tactical gameplay, you owe it to yourself to play Transistor. It is my favorite game by a wide margin and it is a beautiful piece of art.
The six things I could never do without
  1. Summer storms
  2. Scarves
  3. Dark chocolate
  4. Mouse gestures. Visual Studio has them now too and it's fantastic.
  5. Unnecessarily large headphones
  6. Cold brew coffee. It's life changing!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What the Intarwebs will be like in another decade, where I left that pair of socks, and other such fine topics about the universe.

I think about plot convenience and knowledge/motivation consistency a lot.

Sometimes I scroll through Facebook and count the logical fallacies made in political rants. Since acquiring this hobby, my faith in the general population has been steadily dwindling.
On a typical Friday night I am
I'll go ahead and stray from the typical noncommittal "I can go out to bars or stay in watching netflix!" spiel. I'm an introvert; I genuinely enjoy social events but they require a lot of energy. I vastly prefer board game nights with a few friends, trying a new restaurant, or relaxing at home with a glass of wine and some writing. More of my time is spent at coffee shops than I care to admit.

Sometimes I hop on my Twitch stream. Yes, I play video games and let people watch me on the internet. Apparently I'm fairly amusing when I play horror games or do MOBA character impressions.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
It has recently dawned on me that I tend to have a liking toward the least badass version of badass things. I'm hoping someone out there finds this remotely endearing.

* I own and ride a motorcycle; but it's actually a gorgeous red vespa. It's 300cc's and I had to get an M class license and it's considered a motorcycle by Virginia law so damned if I don't refer to it with the "m" word. I kind of love it even if it slightly reduces my street cred.

* I have a tattoo; but it's actually just a symbol from this book I wrote. I like to think of it not as narcissism, but a constant reminder of something very important and close to me. I'm not the universe's gift to literature, but it's good to have something you're proud of eh? [I've been trying to teach myself to tell people it means "truth-seeker" in ancient Norse without cracking a smile. It's actually worked once!]
You should message me if
There's something you can teach me! The list above is a good place to start, but I really love hearing what people are passionate about.

There's something I can teach you! It's a skill I've been trying to hone, and I actually find it rather enjoyable.

You're truly passionate about something. Nothing gets me going like seeing the glimmer in the eyes of talking about a topic they truly love. For me it's my writing and storycrafting in general, how about you?

You aren't particularly interested in following gender roles. It's totally fine if you're looking for a prototypical manly man, but that's not what you'll find here :).

You have a cat I can hang out with. Or if you want to go to that new cat cafe in Georgetown, that sounds kind of cool. Or if you are a cat, in which case I am thoroughly impressed.
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