You want a man who challenges you to be smarter, to learn continuously, to work harder, and to grow as a person, but who will support you in times of weakness and vulnerability without being patronizing or condescending. You want a man who is strong, inside and out—a man who knows what he wants and pursues it with a ferocious determination. You want a man who is at once decisive, but careful; self-assured, but not arrogant. This man must be kind and sensitive to the wants and needs of those around him, especially you. He will love his family and, with time, will come to love yours. He is handsome, but not vain. He is rugged, but not coarse. He is powerful, but not power-hungry. When you are with him, you feel the force of his presence, but he always puts you at ease. He does not lose his temper, but you know that if the need arose, he would protect you and those he loves with deadly force.
A man having these characteristics will necessarily be successful and happy, for he will follow and achieve his dreams. He can laugh at himself, and make you laugh. He is adventurous and spontaneous, but stable and temperate in all things. He will be a generous and skilled lover, and he will place you on a pedestal above all other women, looking upon you with adoration and lust long after your physical beauty has begun to fade. You can give your heart fully to this man, for he will keep it safe, and well. This man does not break his promises and he will tell you no lies. In return, he asks only your respect and earnest love.
This man’s name is Ryan Gosling—and you are never, ever going to meet him. But I am available, and would love to talk.
(Sunscreen - I'm Irish)
Smell of freshly cut grass
The punch line