31Pittsburgh, United States
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My self-summary
*In a world where the arbitrary defines judgment and anxiety breeds, one man stands alone.

"I was wide open in the back of the end zone. You're the one who decided to throw into triple coverage."


"It's a metaphor."

Uh, okay?

"Just do the god damn promo."

They thought they could silence him. They thought they could make him disappear.

They. Were. Wrong.

"I'm still waiting for the music cue."

*He has the intellect.

"One thing you don't realize is that it's easy to regurgitate clichés when it's not happening to you."

He has the insight.

"If everyone says they're sarcastic guess what? Nobody's sarcastic!"

He has... the one liners.

"We're sorry - The person you are trying to reach is no longer in service."

And this St. Patrick's Day weekend, he will. Bring the ruckus.

"You keep going on with that bullshit, you fittin' to catch fifty shades of my FOOT IN YO ASS~!"

*Now... More. Than. Ever! Get ready... for thrills! Adventure! Romance!

Action maestro John Woo presents...

Sabennak Part Deux.

Rated R.

"This isn't revenge. I'm just returning the favor."
What I’m doing with my life
I’m really good at
... provocation.
... one-liners.
... impressions.
... screaming daisies from fourteen miles away.
... incurring workout related injuries.
... non sequiturs.
... counting bodies like sheep to rhythm of the war drums.
The first things people usually notice about me
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The Big Sleep, Outliers, Blink, The Poop That Took A Pee, Cryptonomicon, The Deep Blue Good-By, Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen Adventure, Shoot The Piano Player, The Myron Bolitar Series, Glitz, Chicken Soup For The Butt, This Bastard Bleeds, I The Fury, All She Was Worth, The Woods, The Black Echo, The Godwulf Manuscript, A Nightmare In Pink, Knots And Crosses, The Complaints, A Song Of Fire And Ice, The Devil You Know, The Way Of Kings

Comics: Filthy Rich, Heartburst, The Maximortal, Sgt. Rock: Between Hell And A Hard Place, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Mirage), Lex Luthor: Man Of Steel, Star Wars: Legacy, Hellblazer: Dark Entries

Movies: Demolition Man, Virtuosity, Rising Sun, Evolution, Brick, JFK, Enemy Of The State, The Fugitive, Blood Ocean, Galaxy Quest, Heat (1995), The Untouchables, Unforgiven, Tombstone, Platoon, Black Dynamite, Get Shorty, Die Hard, 48 Hours, Pulp Fiction, Training Day, The Long Goodbye, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Hard Boiled, La Vie Moderne De Pinto, Avengers

TV: Pardon The Interruption, Around The Horn, The Scary Door, Real Time with Bill Maher, Adult Swim, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, WWE, The History Channel, Investigation Discovery, The Science Channel, Terriers, Burn Notice, Address Unknown, An Idiot Abroad, Various cartoons (old and new)

Music: Megadeth, Busta Rhymes, Mr. Big, Guns N' Roses, Dio, Queensryche, Sade, Oasis, 16 Horsepower, Soundgarden, Course Of Empire, Bush, The Cult, Living Colour, The Tea Party, Peter Gabriel, The Hives, Wu-Tang Clan, The BeeTs, Van Halen, KISS, Fair To Midland, INXS, Chevelle, Killing Joke, White Zombie, Talk Talk, A Perfect Circle, Genesis, Canibus, Eyedea & Abilities, MC Face

Video Games: Crystalis, Earthworm Jim 1 & 2, Vice Project: DOOM, TMNT: The Hyperstone Heist, Strider, Hagane, Vectorman, Xexyz, Super Smash TV, X-Men (Sega Genesis), Crash Bandicoot, Comix Zone, Max Payne 1 & 2, GTA series, Alan Wake, Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil 5 (Seven minutes...), Mass Effect 2, Arkham City, Skyrim, Uncharted 3, Injustice: Gods Among Us, Deadpool, Arkham Origins
Six things I could never do without
Media, Technology, Logic, Emotion, Freedom, and those little chickens that Liz from "White Collar" makes.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
... how people's heads don't explode from their flagrant hypocrisy.
... how if I had a dollar for every profile I've visited where the person said they don't have a "typical Friday night", I could fucking retire.
On a typical Friday night I am
... doing the same thing we do every night, Pinky.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've got the LSD (Lead Singer's Disease), so I may or may not throw a TV out the window or demolish a dressing room if I don't get my god damn San Pellegrino Aranciata! Who fucked with my thermostat? And where the fuck are my indigo napkins?! No, no, no, no, no, they must be indigo!

No, seriously. Don't fuck with my thermostat. I'm not fucking kidding.

Side Note: I read profiles from the bottom up, so I laugh every time I see, "... you've read this far" under "You should message me if".
You should message me if
... you got the touch, you got the power.
... you won't tie my lead and pull my chain to watch my blood begin to boil.
... you know the pieces fit 'cause you watched them fall away.
The two of us