56Oakland, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I am a passionate, non-linear, inquisitive, and creative woman who loves her work and loves her play, and often blends the two (sometimes this distinction is very very clear!) I tend to be authentically considerate, sometimes even to a fault, but at the same time have strong opinions which I am likely to share. The good news is that I have learned to be diplomatic and know, really understand, that there is not just one truth.

I love to create and dance and work on worthwhile endeavors, and I can be both playful and highly serious. I am lousy at small talk and good at getting to know a lot about you and will be genuinely interested -- people and their stories are interesting. I like to make people feel comfortable with themselves.


While all I wrote above is true, there is also another face to it. This is the side which you will either appreciate or hate, and I would rather have it out right now.

I have a strong rebellious streak and it takes effort for me not to break just about every rule I confront, except my own. I justify this by saying that I keep with the intent of the rules. I am quite non-traditional -- this was how I grew up and there is no changing me now. I painted my walls are deep blue and brown/black because I like it that way. I paint my floors black. I don't own a TV. I abhor TVs in bedrooms. But I will watch NetFlix and Hulu sometimes. I tend to play silly video games too much when I get stressed out, I am lousy with budgets even if I am good at math. I have many unfinished projects. My living space is almost always in process ... I eat whatever I want whenever I want and have never kept regular meals. I swear sometimes. I smoke sometimes, usually when I am out with friends drinking who also smoke. I don't go out that often, but when I do I am likely to be one of the people who dances for hours straight and closes the place out. Tomorrow I am going to get my half-sleeve tattoo finished; its a 50th birthday present to myself with an edge ... I am very opinionated and will speak passionately about what I believe in, and what inspires me. Sometimes I shave my legs, sometimes I don't. I speak freely about my past, about menopause, about just about anything, and this can be unsettling for some people ... I am often late even when I try not to be. I snore sometimes. I don't like being told what to do. Frankly I am a bit of a rebellious teenager in a middle-aged woman's body. This is moderated by my strong personal ethics, my inspired and workaholic tendencies.
Although I can be a bit of a flake now and then, I love my friends; they are my family of choice. My friendships are caring, loving, intimate ones. I do not compete with other women, never have, and simply don't live in the world where cattiness and competition between women exists. I am proud of how I walk my talk around this, around support, tolerance, and loyalty with loved ones. I normally don't say this, but it is true. I am proud of many things I have done, how I "made it" in the face of a lot of adversity, of being a good, loving, and supportive parent, of changing careers to do what I love despite the fact it wrecked havoc with my finances and my relationship at the time. I love my life. I have done mostly what I wanted to do, and taken care of business that I thought was important, like raising a child, and refused to take other shit seriously.
I have never owned a house, but am not sure that I ever will. However, I have always wanted to build a house with a partner. This is the one thing I have not done, but at this stage in my life, I am not sure it will ever happen. So in a few years, I may very well take this on myself.

This is getting rather long, but I have a little more to say.

My partner ... I would love to have a relationship with someone who is into creating stuff and I would love to be able to co-create stuff. I am thinking art, space, or some other projects, or incredible food. One of my favorite things it to be able to get inspired and work on something until I feel I am done. It could take hours or days or weeks. It would be really cool to do that together, and spontaneously work in all the other sweet, salty, sexy stuff that is inspired by having that someone who drives you nuts in the right way working beside you. I'm thinking building stuff, hedonism, hard work, lots of play, making far out dreams happen. I pretty much live like this right now, but without a partner.

Well, I am not sure how much of this makes sense or really represents me, but I said it and that feels good.
What I’m doing with my life
I am deeply in love with my work. For 10 months a year, it is a very significant part of my life. It gives me great joy, challenges me in many ways, and sometimes causes great frustration. I am very blessed to be doing worthwhile work that I love and that loves me back.

And my art ... I feel like I am just setting out to engage with it in a much deeper and consistent manner. So many ideas are in my finger tips. These ideas are morphing into other areas I do not yet know such as electronics. I am curious to see what really manifests.

Much much more is going on, but out of context of knowing me, it would be hard to explain. (Or maybe I am just choosing to be more private online right now.) It does involve study and travel and deepening self knowledge and a curiosity about how my life is changing.
I’m really good at
transforming spaces. ideas. fixing some things. being resourceful. loving. connecting with people. learning. having fun. enjoying food. helping people feel accepted and valued. painting spaces. cooking. traveling to new places and observing.
The first things people usually notice about me
The grey streak in my hair. My smile. My walk?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Their eyes are watching god. love in the time of cholera. ardiente paciencia. beet queen. the seventh seal. wings of desire. black orpheus. city of god. the straight story. dead man. brother from another planet. woman on the edge of a nervous breakdown. barbarella. the piano. recent ones:the fall, i'm not there, v for vendetta, science of sleep, little miss sunshine, tsotsi, pan's labyrinth, lives of others, into great silence. anything with a good beat and integrity. curanto. curries. chocolate. coffee. (I've been waiting for someone to mention curanto -- still no one has mentioned it.)
Six things I could never do without
My daughter
close friends
stimulating conversation & thoughts
my hands
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Kids and their relationship to knowledge and their intelligence, especially in math. I think about love, people as open systems, how we connect, where my insights and limitations are, how I become whole. I think about love a lot in many contexts and forms. I think about life. I am also considering working for a year far far away. India? Morocco? Madagascar? The Philippines? There are so many possibilities. Then I think again it might be cool to live in Manhattan for a year. Or Iceland. I love this world!
On a typical Friday night I am
Usually wrapping up my work from the week and preparing for the next. Then there is music and food and books and films and just hanging out at home or on the road to some other place -- any of this by myself or with others.
I have cycles of being very social, and then quite a loner. I love both of those states.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
There is nothing quite like the smell of the man that I am into, nothing! I am reminded just how female human animal I am.

On a little less primal note, I struggle with a kind of reverse classism at times.
You should message me if
Message me if you feel like it, I only ask that you be real, be authentic. Or message me if you feel like modeling for figurative sculpture, although I warn you, its not so much fun as many people think -- long hours in the same pose ... Or share a model? Or message me if you'd like to dance tango, even if you don't know how ...
Message me if you would like to help me work on my place. I built a wall of sorts, but I still need to do other construction stuff. I have most of the knowledge to do this, but I love having help, especially because some of it will involve 12 foot ladders.
The two of us