33Saint Paul, United States
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My self-summary

This whole profile is both a metaphor and a literal view of my life at the same time, and I love it. I love being who I am and try to be as true and straight forward as possible, while just trying to be as silly about everything, if possible.. Hopefully no one stubs a toe in the process. If we can't laugh, what is the god damn point?


I'm the kind of guy who would rather not finish this line. I tend to think too much, but I don't.. and I will relax until the last second. I'll listen to every word you say, yet won't always respond verbally. Certain emoticons make me smile :D I can focus intensely on anything, almost too often. I won't decide what to do when with friends. Multitasking is like Singletasking for me. I walk faster than most people. Ice cream is something rarely eaten, but still delicious. I dislike carmex and other similar-type lip balms, but don't mind if others wear them. Slow walkers are the bane of my existence. Holding doors is second nature.

I found I enjoy telling people where they fucked up. This isn't an epiphany of sorts, rather someone told me today that I enjoy telling people where they fucked up. Maybe that's why I work desktop support.

I am formidable, justified, and inevitable... or at least OKC told me this some time ago and I never deleted it. Should I?
What I’m doing with my life
Just working, much like most, until I have paid certain debts and gain some decent funds for bigger and better things.

Full time, happily employed for the U of M as a tech slave. It's fun work, and I am good with my hands.
I’m really good at
Video Games. Making you laugh. Dance Dance Revolution. Making a fool of myself. Hurting myself. Daydreaming. Daywalking. Bass guitar. Typing. Things with computers. Walking. Yo-Yos. Being Indecisive. Drinking Mountain Dew. Repeating myself myself. Zero-G + 9.807 m/s². Paper/Rock/Scissors. Pointing. Being Lazy. Driving. Poetry. Forgetting things. Remembering them later. Agreeing. Shouting.
The first things people usually notice about me
The Nail in my Ear

I just didn't want a regular earring. Ask me about the story if you want to hear it..

What's that? You wanna hear it?

So one day me and my buddy David are sitting around at his place, as a most common thing of the time was to do just that. We had been sitting in "The Cube." The room of which had one window, and minimum ventilation, so I'm sure that heat-crazed insanity which sparked what happened next. "I feel like piercing my ear" I said. Dave just Lol'd and as if he didn't think I was serious, asked "With what?"

"This Nail" I respond softly.

I had found the Nail, I didn't know what from but it was just right, and still very sharp. For about an hour in the heat and sweat I debated in my mind whilst rubbin my earlobe. At that point I told Dave that I was ready, and gave him the plan. I would rest my ear on the side of the counter and he would drive The Nail into my ear with a hammer. He turns to me with a brick-serious face and said "Are you man enough to do this?" I walk by him with a smile and say "You should be asking yourself that same question." I don't think he really knew what I was talking about.

I washed The Nail in some Dawn dishsoap and we got ready. He was about to hit the nail and he said..

"I don't know if I can do this man.."

I turned to him with a look as if I did not know the man standing next to me, wondering why he was holding a hammer and exclaimed "Thats why I asked if YOU were man enough." And with that remark his worries changed into a fearful determination that could never be matched. It was a challenge now.

I lowered my head to the counter so my earlobe rested on the puncture-proof surface with a face like "Don't hit me in the eye." He raised the hammer and asked "Ready?"

I merely nodded, or tried to nod, only because my head was horizontal on the counter and my body was contorted in such a way to allow my head to lay horizontally, so it basically looked like I had a small case of Parkinson's.

He struck The Nail, dead on the target, but with the force of a child because he didn't want to crush my cranium, and I told him, "AGAIN, HARDER" and he happily obliged. The Nail was being stubborn, as if it didn't think my earlobe was a good place to call home. I stood up and looked in the mirror to see just the tip was in my now reddened lobe. I just grabbed my ear with my left hand, and pushed The Nail through with the right and as it did it made a slight "SQUILSH" noise, slightly disturbing, but looking solid.

Time Shift to a week later

I awake in my bed, on my back. I never sleep on my back, nor do I ever wake on it, so it was unusual to say the least. My right had was clutching an object, needless to say and I'm sure you guessed it, it was The Nail. My left had was in an even stranger spot. Holding my pierced ear. In closer examination in the well-lit bathroom, it seemed to be apparent that my hand was covered in blood, and so was my ear. Guess I was rubbin' it, but thats just an assumption. I merely washed up, put The Nail back and went back to sleep. End of Story.

In answer to questions you may have, No it didn't hurt. No, I'm not in the least bit lying. Yes, it is badass. No, do not copy me, and finally No! It did NOT get infected, regardless of how much blood I lost. And Yes I stopped wearing it when I grew up... but If you want I'll reclaim my glory days. Just for you.

Well I wrote this bit when I wore it, but I no longer do so it's not really applicable, but I can't just delete the story... so I guess I would say my state of existence is the first thing they notice about me!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A) My favorite books aren't really books, but they still tell gripping tales. Earth-X is one of my tops. The two Maus books were also very good, very descriptive. If you have not read either of these 2 (3 technically) you should immediately. and then tell me. :)

b) Mooovies: Anything with Tony Jaa, Tron, Milo & Otis, Shaolin Soccer, Napoleon Dynamite, Maximum Overdrive, The Running Man and the Predator, Borat, Grandma's Boy, War of the Worlds, Anime (Fatal Fury/Gundam Wing/Street Fighter/Escaflone) the whole Kevin Smith series, and that's just a few... of OLD stuff. Man, movies come out so often I can't keep this shiz updated.

c) I love mostly all music, but respect it all. A few good artists are GUNSHIP, Daft Punk, Deltron (da funky homosapien) Phish, Nirvanna, ZZ Top, INXS, Pink Floyd, RAGE, DJ Tiesto, Atmosphere, Busta Rhymes, Fugees, Incubus, Gorillaz, Jamiroquai, Linkin Park, OutKast, Beastie Boys, and The Offspring, just to name a few. Talent is talent, baby.

d) Food is one of the most wonderful things, and yes, I know I'm skinnier then hell! I love BURGERS, and fuck yeah pizza.
Six things I could never do without
All of these six things relate to helping me contain a sense of sanity, so the question "could" doesn't matter..
One, and the most important, a companion. I need that bond to maintain my sanity..
Number two would have to be a distraction of some kind.. to keep me occupied.
For keeping my cool I need some music to chill to,
and fourth would be a secret hiding spot for times when I need to run. Fifth, I need a voice, otherwise my mind would overflow,
and finally - I need my sense of feeling, because if I lost that, I would have lost everything.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How really really, really ridiculously good looking I am.

Just kidding. But seriously I am. (someone one told me I look like Derek Zoolander/Ben Stiller) Don't know how true that is.

I spend a lot of time thinking about everything. As nuts as that sounds, the way i ::look:: at it is I am an Observer. I like to watch my surroundings, taking in everything I can. The way people act, interact, nature, ideas, everything. You'd be surprised how care-free it makes you feel.
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing one of many things: Going out and chilling in the night "vibe." Sitting in and playing some games online. Chatting online, or browsing Youtube or Imgur. Yes I am an Imgurian...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I hate dimes. Most people don't understand this. They are SOOOO lazy. Look at it this way. There are 4 quarters in a dollar. They are so big and strong they only need 4 to break the dollar. Now, there are 5 nickels in a quarter, a little smaller than the quarter since it takes 5 to do so. There are also 5 pennies in a nickel (you get how that works) It takes 2 dimes AND a nickel to make a quarter, or TEN dimes to break a dollar. They need help to break a quarter, come on! And they are so small, they hide under the pennies when your diggin in your pocket or purse! How pathetic!
You should message me if
There is a full moon, have a sense of humor, can speak and use your brain at the same time, if I looked at your page and didn't message you first, if it's 11:11, if you're favorite color is orange, if you think you could beat me in DDR or Guitar Hero, or if you really really want to. Also, check things off that you like above. If you score is greater than (>) or equal to (=) zero (0) than you should message me...

But seriously. If you read this far, I appreciate it. Please let me know why!
The two of us