SaltineMonkey
31 Antioch, United States
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SaltineMonkey
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My self-summary
Come on guys, smile in at least one picture! You're so much more handsome when you're smiling!

I'm a quirky, semi-creative goof ball who is very uniquely individual (and doesn't get online every single day so forgive me!). I have a huge love for clowns, art, music, fun, haunted houses, and creativity in general.

I want to be someone's homie lover friend...not just another sex doll. Kinda would love to find a mature man who's looking for more than just a sexual partner. However, I do tend to flirt pretty hardcore when it feels right...

Patience, honesty, loyalty, trust, and respect...that's what will keep my attention the most.

I love polka dots.
What I’m doing with my life
Eating healthier, drinking more water, getting more active a little at a time. It's a process; I don't want to lose too much weight too fast, but I am trimming. Lost 89 lbs so far, and not planning on stopping there! I'm doing it for myself, because I got tired of feeling the way I did.

I have an Associate's degree in Graphic Design and Animation -- always pursuing that with high hopes.

Working in Haunted Hell Nashville, both during the Halloween season as well as behind the scenes all year. Been helping the builders, doing some light building, and painting scenery, mainly. It's a lot of fun, and I'm enjoying getting and keeping my foot in the door.

Wanted to be a clown since I was 8 years old, and a mascot since I knew what they were...always looking for at least a taste of that. Learning new skills in that arena, as well.

Drawing a street-performing clown in Cali for cash, and looking forward to more projects with her!

Also marketing a book by Ripper the Clown, entitled "The Life & Mimes (& Zombie Apocalypse) of Ripper the Clown: The Autobiography of An Unconventional Zombie" which has become my new favorite! It has a time travelling sequel out now, which I'm really enjoying! He's also released his third book on alien abduction, which I can not wait to open!

Looking for a mature man who can get goofy with the rest of us.
I’m really good at
Making people feel welcome and most often laugh, understanding what I do and do not like, finding art in the mundane, playing billiards, swimming, many board and video games, typing a LOT, 3D animation, coming up with ideas....and apparently I've been called an "out of control genius" when it comes to some of my pictures.......
The first things people usually notice about me
Physically, my smile and my eyes. Otherwise, it's pretty easy to see that I'm crazy, in a good way....most call it weird. I like it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Ripper the Clown's "The Life & Mimes (& Zombie Apocalypse) of Ripper the Clown: The Autobiography of An Unconventional Zombie" (and the 2 sequels), R.L. Stein's Fear Street series, Scott Ciencin's Vampire Oddysey trilogy, Stephen King, Anne Rice's vampire novels, J.K. Rowling, H.P. Lovecraft, Laurell K. Hamilton, Shel Silverstein, Bryan Smith (for his book "Freakshow" omg!), Edgar Allan Poe, Emily Dickenson, random joke books...pretty much anything with poetry or comedy or near-Gothic themes (horror, vampires, good clowns, evil klowns, semi/super-morbid, "strange and unusual").

Movies: Comedy, Horror, Horror-Comedy, and a little Action/Suspense/Fantasy.
A few favorite films: Saw, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, Narnia, Ghost World, Fear of Clowns, Tamera, Stay Alive, The Crow, Burlesque, Stitches, Thirteen, Chicago, Moulin Rouge, Kill Bill, Lost Boys, Insatiable, Hugo, Blood & Donuts, Dead & Breakfast, Shaun of the Dead, Dr. Dolittle, Thirteen Ghosts, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Puppetmaster, Fido, Miss Congeniality, Drive-Thru, Killjoy, IT, Ever After, Blade, The Wiz, We All Scream For Ice Cream.....

Shows: Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Dinosaurs, Indy Rock Block (Necat Channel 9, Nashville local music videos, usually around 12 am - 3 am), AFV, America's Got Talent, Dancing With The Stars, RuPaul's Drag Race, Bate's Motel, Are You Afraid Of The Dark?, 1000 Ways to Die, Ren & Stimpy, Weeds, Hack My Life, How It's Made, Halloween Wars, HELLEVATOR, Rocko's Modern Life, EXIT, Oddities, those pawn shop and storage unit shows, old sitcoms like I Love Lucy, Who's The Boss, Three's Company, The Munsters, The Addams Family.........

Music: Anything from AWOL Nation to Flyleaf to Nightwish to ZZ Top, and everything in between.....except for most nasal-twang country and gangsta rap. Including, but not limited to: rock, metal, opera, disco, techno, oldies, classical, jazz...but my FAVORITES are metal, dubstep, rock, metallic opera, and indie rock. I could name dozens of bands here, or you could ask. ;D

Food: That's funny.............................................jk, Mexican food is pretty good, and always fun! Italian is a pretty good winner. I love a good tilapia on rice..."ants on a log", roasted salmon, honey nut pancakes...southern fried white fish...baby spinach...rainbow trout.....brussel sprouts (fixed specifically or they're gross)...some of my favorite foods.
The six things I could never do without
Honesty
Humor
Creativity
Good Health
Sustenance
Air
I spend a lot of time thinking about
...things that are usually too deep for the average person...
...clowns...
...Halloween...
...why black guys still gravitate towards me, even when I say I'm not into them...
...haunted houses...
...friends...
...things I could have said in random situations...
...new pictures to draw/paint...
...how I'm probably too open about myself...
...miscellaneous....
On a typical Friday night I am
not sure what's gonna happen next, and probably loving it.
That is, unless it's in late September or all of October, or another special event at Haunted Hell Nashville, then I am usually either getting in character, getting ready to pounce at people, scaring the daylights out of people, or taking a breather from scaring people. :)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I grab and play with my boobs randomly, because I can. :) They are, in fact, mine.

There are also some pretty intimate things explained in my questions...
I'm pretty much an open book with very few limits.
You should message me if
...you like big girls first of all (because if you don't, you won't like me and need to just move on, cuz I don't have time for immature hate messages);

you're not afraid of clowns (and even more so if you actually LIKE them);

you're at least okay with the goth scene and won't disrespect it to me or behind my back;

you are tall with long hair / a deep voice / dimples / unique colored eyes (because that's some kind of super sexy bonus to me, but realize it's just a bonus);

you like awesome people;

you think we would get along even a little bit;
AND/OR
you have more substance to who you are than just messaging people for nothing but sex.

Oh, and if you actually read through all of my profile and still want to chat...
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