Samantha_Shani
28 Woodley, United Kingdom
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Samantha_Shani
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My self-summary
I'm Samantha. I claim cyborg status (I have internal metal). I am English, well spoken, and often garnish my responses with a heavy dose of sarcasm.

I have recently ended a position as a Bottlenose Dolphin Research Scientist, lovingly dedicating my body to marine mammal surveys in torrential rain/hail/apocalyptic weather in south-west Wales, and am a trained and registered Marine Mammal Medic.

I have a B.Sc. (Honours) in Zoology. I am currently reading for an M.Sc. in Wildlife Management and Conservation, with plans to apply for Ph.D. in the fields of marine biology and conservation in the near future. Before then I'm hoping to get lost somewhere horrifically remote on more research expeditions, to do stuff like count monkeys and risk death by jungle-monster.

I'm intensely into wildlife photography and passionate about wildlife conservation. I'm ambitious. I contradict myself continuously. I own far too many books and my bedroom is beginning to look like a rainforest for plants.

I once cycled home a bit drunk at 2am on an old fashioned bicycle with a basket, dressed up in an alligator suit. I hate fireworks, adore long phone conversations, and love cake.

A lot of things make me want to dance about in my pants in glee:

Being plugged into music and leaving the world behind. Plants. Especially trees. Cake. The colours blue, green, and yellow. Other colours too. Theme parks. Especially the roller coaster bit. Successful conservation projects. Going to places other people haven't been. Working abroad. Finding interesting rocks on beaches. The ocean. My unloving and socially awkward cat. Every animal known to man.The winter months. Especially February. My birthday. However this is changing. I'm getting old now. Numerous other things. We'll defo be here all day.
What I’m doing with my life
Eating dates (the food, not the people. I'm not on here to find people to eat, I use other sites for that), overdosing on documentaries in a bid to waste time until I find the perfect Ph.D./research expedition to take on, and counting dolphins.
I’m really good at
The science thing and loving my plants.
The first things people usually notice about me
My awesome sense of style when it comes to face wear.
My incredible eyes.
My fabulously straight teeth.

My modesty...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
EVERYTHING. Except, food wise, I'm a vegan. Look at it this way... you get to dominate over all the bacon, cheese, and jelly sweets. You lucky thing.
The six things I could never do without
My intelligence. My sanity. Animals. The freedom to practice on my worldly beliefs. Wondrous variety. Cake.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Having magical powers. Eating cake. Dolphins. Cats. Going back to bed. Every time I have ever embarrassed myself (this can consume a lot of time). Why my hair has decided to join the majestic male lion as a style icon. Whether the screws in my leg will ever unscrew themselves and angrily burst through my skin. Shark-headed-hyena-monsters.
On a typical Friday night I am
Rocking it up with science fiction and participating in avoidance of the general public.

If in dire need of human interaction, I can quite happily glam up and lovingly abuse the alcohol, club dance floor and nearest humans to me. However, the last time I did this I pretty much broke part of my leg off. Trust me, spending your birthday in a hospital bed waiting for your leg to be screwed back together is not the epitome of a good time. People brought me lots of cake though. Silver lining.

I want to fill a kids swimming pool with bedding, take it to a secluded cliff top with no light pollution, and star gaze.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I spend a lot of my time staring at insects down a microscope and talk to my pets in a truly embarrassing voice. Don't judge. But I also own Superman pyjamas and have trekked through rainforests, so balance is restored.

Update: I fell down a rabbit hole and landed on top of a barbed wire fence in an attempt to take a photograph of a seal pup from a cliff edge (I got the photo). I am stupid enough to do it again.
You should message me if
You have/are:

Nice hair, teeth, and smile. Well dressed. Bit of an ego. Slightly arrogant. Good understanding of sarcasm. Taller. Wants to do crazy things, or at least interesting things. Wants to save the world. Likes animals. Manly. Intelligent. Prince Charming with a crown, a horse, a castle and a sword for cutting down zombies.

I understand not all these things are attainable at once.

Hint for you:

I like men to make the first move (a semblance of old fashioned yearning that has been seared into my brain, probably by the numerous movies, books and stories I absorbed throughout my mercilessness teenage years.... tragic, but true).

Send me something interesting/unique/cool/abusive. Or don't. Up to you. If I don't reply, please don't be offended, you're just not the one for me.

Take me star gazing on a boat in the Arctic, or water balling on a lake in the USA.
To an open air movie in an open top car, or to the theatre to watch the ballet.
To the top of the Eiffel Tower to gaze upon Paris, or on a clear bottomed boat to gaze at the ocean floor.
To a pebble beach to collect shells, or the Jurassic Coast to find a dinosaur.
On a small private boat to watch dolphins and whales, or a private capsule on the London eye at night.
To a safari park to watch monkeys rip apart the car, or to the coast to eat chips and watch sea birds take flight.
To somewhere secluded to watch a sunset, or a sunrise, or both.

Or anywhere where there is (vegan) cake.

(My poetry skills are ace)
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