32 Johnstown, United States
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My self-summary
2015: At a temple overseas I wrote a prayer request for my soulmate. Let's see how fast divine intervention moves (my guess: as quick as congealed American cheese).

I am a hermaphroditic Thylacine - psychologically androgynous and anomalous. My Myers-Briggs type is INFP/INTP and I identify with non-binary concepts of gender identity.

I'm passionate about art as both a creator and admirer. Symbolism, Surrealism, Romanticism, and Pop Surrealism are my favorite movements for their imaginative, poetic, or playful connotations, though I am partial to a myriad of genres including Conceptual Art (cerebral) and Outsider Art (raw). Other interests include photography (preferably cemeteries and urban ruins), reading, and the occasional PC game (a medium I feel is still in its infancy regarding its immense narrative and creative potential).

Temperamentally I have a fascination with the bizarre, melancholic, and dark (as I ascribe to Baudelaire's archetype of "strange beauty"). I'm an intellectually curious bibliophile and continually seeking knowledge, understanding, self-development, and x-ray vision.

I'm a skeptic (but enjoy the paranormal), cynic, and misanthrope but a romantic at heart who resonates with the Fin de Siecle; a backwater Des Essientes writing and drawing with a fountain pen among obscure books, canvases, and strange or amusing trinkets. I'd like to think I'm old-fashioned in the good ways and not, you know, laughing at peasants while adjusting a monocle and tophat (no hate if you do -_-).

I'm not an open book so excuse me if I don't reveal immediate details about myself. Similarly, I live in Bumblefuck/"Country ass fucked up town" so I'm reluctant to reveal my face. That really is me in the pictures, however obfuscated. I may also have body dysmorphic disorder.

“To See a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.”

- Blake
What I’m doing with my life

"If I were to wish for something, I would like to be just a little happy, because if I were too happy, I would long for suffering."
- Marlene Dietrich
I’m really good at
* Painting. I've won awards, sold pieces, and have gallery representation, but more than institutional accolades I prefer being able to touch someone in a way that words cannot (and not get arrested :P ).
* Photography.
* Intelligent conversation.
* Computers and nerdy stuff (built my computers, rebuilt vintage keyboards, etc).
* Serial killer trivia.
* Playing tour guide for friends at art museums.
* Spotting logical fallacies, especially in US news. Ugh!
* Being a supportive friend (So I've been told).
* Being skeptical of charm. Read "The Sociopath Next Door".
* I"m not good at it yet but I'm learning acoustic guitar. Join me in a singalong of "Suicide is Painless".
* Getting my foot run over by a van. It only happened once, but it happened good. :P

My talents tend toward the literary and artistic but I also favor (and envy) scientific and logical skills.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'd prefer they didn't.

I think they think
I must be out of touch

- Suzanne Vega
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music: Ambient, neofolk, industrial.

Anika, Ataraxia, Bohren & der Club of Gore, Chandeen, Cindytalk, Coil, Cathal Coughlan, Death in June, Desiderii Marginis, Elend, Fatima Mansions, Foundation Hope, Diamanda Galas, Genocide Organ, Ghosts of Breslau, Godspeed You Black Emperor!, Haus Arafna, Jarboe, Lovers, Megaptera, Stina Nordenstam, November Növelet, Luigi Rubino, Nový Svet, Raison d'Etre, Rome, Suzanne Vega, Scott Walker, Suicide, The Caretaker, Zola Jesus, John Zorn.

Also not music, but: NPR.

Bacon, Balthus, Beksinski, Bocklin, Bosch, Brueghel, Burne-Jones, Cattelan, Darger, Delvaux, Dix, Ensor, Friedrich, Freud, Goya, Grosz, Hammershoi, Hopper, Khnopff, Magritte, Moreau, Munch, Oldenberg, Whistler, and others.

Too many to narrow. I'm partial to non-fiction genres like history, philosophy, science, psychology, memoirs, and art criticism.

I often don't have the patience to watch them and prefer documentaries. I liked Un Chien Andalou, though.
The six things I could never do without
01. Quantum Immortality
02. Carter's Doomsday Argument
03. Mephisto Waltz No. 1
04. Parker 51
05. The Fermi Paradox
06. Root beer

Also: IBM Model M.
I spend a lot of time thinking about

More specifically:
* Love: In spite of my cynicism I cannot disavow it, logical and evolutionary explanations be damned. There is no greater source of the infinite.
* Art: Aesthetics, art history, modern art, etc.
* Human nature.
* Gender: To what extent our gender identity is biologically or socially mandated; the cultural reinforcement of roles and expectations.
* History: Because it serves as both warning and inspiration.
* Culture: Disparities and characteristics of nations. As Robert Hughes noted, Americans are unique in wanting art to serve a utilitarian purpose.
* This line from Albert Camus in The Myth of Sisyphus: "The only eternal love is what is thwarted."

Obligatory categorical listing:
Metaphor, metaphysics, existentialism, stoicism, mortality, paradox, ethics, symbols, and skepticism.

"We live in a culture in which intelligence is denied relevance altogether, in a search for radical innocence, or is defended as an instrument of authority and repression. In my view, the only intelligence worth defending is critical, dialectical, skeptical, desimplifying."
- Sontag
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'd rather be an android.

I have been professionally diagnosed with high-functioning autism (Aspergers).
You should message me if
You have 33% Minoan heritage, possess a Hapsburg jaw, served on the Second Roman Triumvirate, are clad in head to toe McQueen, and have an epic laird.


* You want to explore and photograph; abandoned places (urbanex / urban exploration) or street photography a plus.
* You want to exchange thoughtful snail mail missives and/or long emails.
* You're also an endangered species.
* You fit this glass slipper (or combat boot):

"I regret to inform you that being so bright, you
will be hard pressed to find that ideal love, unless you find some ex crack whore at a Mensa convention. Only someone with a luminous mind and a plagued heart could make an attempt."

- (user deleted)

"That is how I would describe what I love best: tragically beautiful."
- Angelo Badalamenti

Note: I don't have A-List so I'm not always able to see if you "like" my profile.