Disclaimer: I have noted that being on OKC is similar to being an atheist and going to church. I'm here, but it's hard to have faith in the interweb. My best relationships have been from live connections; you're welcome to dissuade me.
Second disclaimer; I am technically "poly" (see below) and I am seeking a "primary" partner with emotional, intellectual, and physical availability. I thought it was clear in my profile, but feeling the need to reiterate it.
Now onto the glimmer of "me":
Self descriptors being boxes that muddle chemistry and connection aside, here goes...I am a creative, lively woman with interests in all things personal: physical, spiritual, emotional growth, pleasure, pain, and general hedonism. Although I love animals, I am an unrepentant omnivore who relishes healthy appetites. I have a Master's Lit, and I've also studied Physical Theater, Circus Arts, Psychic Healing, Tantra, Taoism, Buddhism, Body Piercings, and BDSM, the latter which I also currently teach. I've lived in Paris, France and Melbourne, Australia. "Things" I like: cooking, cars, kink, compassion, compersion.
Basically I am an "omni" person in relationships, and find it difficult to label myself any one thing, the closest is ENFP queer poly top femme switch.
Although my leanings be artistic, politics and science turn me on - especially when there is little ego involved.
Physically, I have discreet and meaningful body ink/tattoos and several piercings. I like looking somewhat "normal", (define that please!), but naked be adorned. I have a body/spirit that desires intense sensation: giving and receiving, the latter which I am currently trying to ameliorate.
I am considered polyamorous - I value the practice of "open" relationships, (which means lots of clear communication!), seeking an open minded, kinky, comrade/companion/lover - NOT a booty call. Polyamory to me is not about fucking anything that moves as much as it is about the freedom to discuss and potentially exercise various attractions with others. To be clear, my heart is very loyal, and when in love, I am completely devoted to passion and honesty.
Mostly, I am eager to meet people with emotional courage - particularly if you have the following criterion: you value and practice transparency in relationships, (if you don't know what that means, we are probably not well suited), because you know yourself well enough to know that you cannot fully know yourself at any given time. I expect you to know how to articulate your thoughts and feelings - ideally in a timely fashion - or at least voice when you can't.
My preference would be for someone creative and queer or queer friendly, but I find chemistry perplexing, dictating "love" impossible, longevity not so obvious. Besides, we don't need to have special chemistry to explore the diverse culture the Bay Area has to offer - although connection makes it more amusing, n'est ce pas?
Having said that, people who can appreciate my extraordinary life, (as ideally I do theirs), will get further than those who condemn it or idolize it foolishly.
I am an alternative lifestyles educator who presents loads of classes on kink and bdsm around the country. A kink specialist if you will, or a pleasure artist if you won't;) I have written extensively on kink and transformation - any fellow writers want to exchange ideas?.
I have a few relationships that bring me great joy and that I will not sacrifice, although juggling many can be challenging. Did I mention I adore, (healthy and loving) challenges? Having said that, I don't take relationships lightly and most of my relationships do NOT involve sex.
I am working on providing myself with more self care and reciprocal care.
I run around a bit, call it my "calisthenics", love yoga, but have been gobbling up pilates pretty seriously over a year now, which is wonderful.
I love sailing, but don't get out enough.
I am also drawn to combined physicality like tantra/tantric yogic practices, and esoteric practices like holotropic breathwork, OM, hypnosis, and NVC. My most recent interests are TRE or Trauma/tension Release therapy and DBT which I am also learning to teach to others since they have been so beneficial to me. Having confessed all that, I must admit, I'm not at all "hippie like"...much more urban with esoteric sophistication.
I love going to events at YBCA, and other cultural excursions around town, like the Opera, Symphony, contemporary physical theater and Film Festivals.
I also want to get out of the city more...learn rock or mountain climbing, scuba diving hang gliding, eating oysters at Point Reyes? I love being out in the city during the weekdays, it's like a vacation from the 9-5 world.
My tag line is "never a dull moment!"
Oh, and it's not what you do but how you do it:)
"We're all a little weird, and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
Theodor Seuss Geisel or the other guy...
Written on the Body, Jeanette Winterson
Oh the Places You'll Go! Dr Suess
Perfume, Patrick Suskind
Zami, Audre Lorde
You're an Animal Viscovitz! Buffo
Bend Sinister or Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov
The Erotic Mind, Jack Morin
Come Hither, Gloria Brame
Lesbian Polyfidelity, Celeste West
Stiff, Mary Roach
and many more...
Music varies from Billie Holiday to Lemon Jelly, (little rock or country in general, and new friends tell me I'm Indie). I feel the need to add some new interests when I get the time to research on the computer. I am also interested in Klezmer Music and traditional Punjabi.
Death Takes a Holiday
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
some like it hot
you and me and everyone we know
little miss sunshine
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
harold and maude
best in show
fresh meat/sean dorsey
Passion for cooking and eating! Dining out can be pleasurable also. I have dabbled in paleo"...no grains, dairy or sugar, but mostly eat whatever I want these days.
Easy ways to make me happy:
grass fed steak and greens
and really any seafood or shell fish
the rest are serious sex toys.
Interpersonal relationships...chemistry, sex, how the world works, why there are so many ignorant people who don't care about others and don't educate themselves on other ways of being. Power dynamics within relationships - whether conscious or not, fair or unfair. In a word, I am utterly fascinated by the hows and whys of all relationships between people, be they familial, sexual, political, or random.
I am particularly interested in how the brain responds to the body and vice-versa during emotional periods and how to "retrain" the brain through techniques like DBT, hypnotherapy, EMDR, and meditation.
I also spend a fair amount of my time trying to determine how to continue a passionate life of work and play and how to help others do the same.
ANY swell combination of the following resonate:
You think you could encourage me to relax because you are genuinely an intelligent, engaging, loving, kinky, smart, warm, generous person who is not afraid of a Toppy woman but also does not see her as a a monolithic conquest or challenge.
You are emotionally and physically available.
You are kinky!
You believe in Sexual Healing.
You understand social injustice and can discuss.
You are at least potentially bisexual.
You feel and express empathy and compassion for others.
You have day time weekday availability and enjoy taking advantage of it.
Today is Your Day!
Cross dressing or playing with gender turns you on.
You are infinitely curious and love the idea of new adventures.
You enjoy teaching/sharing your passions.
Complex thinkers who work from the heart and are flexible, reliable, trust worthy, empathic, charming, compassionate, open minded and indulgent - with willingness and ability to heal and hold when things get tough will go VERY far. Also, I realize that's like asking for a four leaf clover on Mount Everest, but you get the idea.
Finally, please don't message me if you don't understand what I'm writing about or think I'm "fascinating". I'm not here to put on a show. I'm looking for companionship.
In a word: I'm seeking people who understand that all relationships involve ever changing power dynamics, whether implicit or explicit and love discussing it.
thanks for reading this ever expansive profile:)