51 Brooklyn, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Recently relocated to NY after 25 years in the West (California, Texas & Washington state) I rode my Harley-Davidson cross country in Aug 2014, and am looking to make some new connections on the East Coast.

Part of the catalyst for this move was the end of a 20 year marriage, which included almost 15 years living as a poly 3-some, all raising kids together. It will take me some time to fully process all of this, and I may not be looking for something long term right away, but I'm open to new experiences and not writing anything off.

I'm a classically trained chef (finished culinary school the year the Food Network launched), have worked in Michelin starred restaurants, and eaten at some of the finest restaurants in the world. I've owned a restaurant and taught cooking in a professional chef/cooking training school. I left the culinary industry completely a few years ago in favor of more geeky/computer related pursuits which pay a lot better, but always seem less nourishing for the soul. As a result, I tend to enjoy cooking at home, for friends, or at friends home a lot more than I did when I was getting paid to do it every day.

Poly, fetish friendly member of the leather community, former board member of the CSPC (Wet Spot). Exhibitionist, voyeur, kinky photographer. Midwestern raised, California educated, former college instructor, currently doing digital marketing and looking for local work. Lover of the avante garde, from the films of Kenneth Anger to the music of Coltrane, Branca, and Zappa. Tall, shaved head, tattoo'ed tough guy look with a well educated inside, masters degree, well traveled (internationally), well read, politically active, user of social media, including Facebook, twitter (@Jefe), Fetlife and more.

A lot of my West coast connections came through my involvement in the local leather/fetish and BDSM scene and while that is a part of who I am, I'm not sure that I intend to let it define me as much here, in New York, as I did in the past.

I'm an avid, and competent amateur (amateur, because though I have gotten paid for my work, I've never made a living at it) photographer, I started college as a photo major but chose not to pursue it professionally. I really enjoy photographing people, and have done some critically well-received erotic work.
(Maybe that should be listed with "The most private thing I’m willing to admit" ? )
What I’m doing with my life
Living my dreams!
I’m really good at
Digital geeky stuff, photography, cooking, frightening off people that I wish would come closer, making dreams come true, finding and maintaining an acceptable level of ecstasy
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm tall and bald, I laugh easily, I wear a bunch of leather, and ride a pretty loud motorcycle, so sometimes that gets noticed, even before I enter or approach a group.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Love Mexican and Tex/Mex food, especially fond of chiles, really enjoy fancy food too, like Fois Gras, confit, dark chocolate, and cassoulet.

Books; A Clockwork Orange, The Omnivores Dilemma, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, the Ethical Slut, S/M 101, I've found myself enjoying biographies in the past few years, from Presidents like Lincoln & Eisenhower, to "Secret Historian: The Life and Times of Samuel Steward, Professor, Tattoo Artist, and Sexual Renegade", been reading a bunch of Lawrence Lessig lately, and I read a LOT of cookbooks.

Music; Radiohead, Girl Talk, She & Him, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, The Who, Beck, Patti Smith, Broken Bells, Danger Mouse, Sonic Youth, The Clash, Eric Clapton, The White Stripes, X, Tom Waits, Neil Young, Pink Floyd, Pearl Jam, Explosions in the Sky, Steve Earle, and yeah, I did see The Grateful Dead over 100 times, but that was back when I had long hair.

Movies; Scorpio Rising, Zombieland, The Seven Samurai, The Godfather, Raging Bull, Dr. Strangelove, Blade Runner, Brazil, In the Realm of the Senses/Ai No Corrida, Crash (Cronenberg), Silence of the Lambs, Bad Lieutenant, Pulp Fiction, Casino, Secretary, Eyes Wide Shut
The six things I could never do without
Sex, spicy food, music, the internet, a decent camera, someone to talk to.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I developed such a "thick skin" and whether it protects me from insult and rejection, or keeps me from feeling authentic intimacy. It is something I ponder, as I engage in my new life as a single person for the first time since the early 1990's.
On a typical Friday night I am
I no longer have "typical" nights, I'm re-creating my life and habits and everything.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
None of my profile photos show my tattoos, but I have a few, fairly large pieces, that you mostly can't see with my clothes on.
You should message me if
I want to be very clear that the "I'm looking for" section isn't exclusive, and isn't intended to discourage potential friends or partners from messaging me. If you don't fit the "I'm looking for" parameters, but other things click for you, let's both acknowledge that we often find wonderful experiences where we are NOT looking, and that is part of what makes them wonderful!

So, if you want to grab a coffee, or other beverage. Heck, if you are sorta cute and interested in meeting a big guy with a shaved head who gets around on 2 wheels, you should message me.