Pretty much all my friends say they can't understand why I'm still single, but I think I might have an inkling of an idea - it's really hard for me to get to know people. I'm shy - I clam up, I just don't know how to put myself out there. The more I like a lady, the harder it is for me to say anything to her. But if she messages me and opens the door, it's much easier for me to open up and get to know someone.
I'm not looking for someone to take care of me - I'm living quite comfortably, and make a great deal of effort to find employment where I can. That effort just hasn't born fruit yet.
As for what I do outside of a job, I write, I draw, I sing, play and compose music, I make sculptures, design whole lego cities, and I'm currently building a dollhouse, just for fun. I have a degree in Philosophy from Bard College.
I spend a good deal of time conversing with friends online, using a chat server called IRC. With them, I do Roleplay, videogames, and philosophical discussions. When I'm not doing a personal or artistic project, I'm hanging out with them and enjoying their company.
I've also been working on several books, and I've been developing my own table-top roleplaying system, and hope to get it published some day.
I'm good at being open and communicating. I'm always forthright and honest.
I'm excellent with my hands, and have a sharp mind. So if there's something artistic, I've done it or tried it. Drawing, painting, woodcarving, sculpting, singing, playing piano, and composing music are all things I've done.
If there's something intellectual, I've thought about it and researched it. I've dabbled a little in history and sociology, I've read Wittgenstein and William James, and love listening to Alan Watt's lectures on Zen Buddhism.
More than anything else, I'm good at helping people sort out their thoughts and help them deal with worries and problems. I like studying the human condition, and I like solving problems, so I tend to offer people my help, if they want it.
I like to share what's on my mind to spite my shyness. I speak up whenever there's a lull in a conversation, but I'm quiet when I'm getting to know people for the first time.
Once I open up, I open up wide. I'm willing to share just about anything if I'm asked.
My favorite movies are Ghostbusters, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and Star Trek is a guilty pleasure. In my childhood I enjoyed Flight of the Navigator, Short Circuit, and Willow. Other more recent favorites are Good Night and Good Luck, Inception, Hellboy, and The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I loved Wall-E, and need to see more of Pixar's recent work.
I love music of all kinds, but I especially love thematic music that I can use to help inspire my writing. Soundtracks from movies, videogames and anime are a big hit with me. Yoko Kanno's work is my absolute favorite.
I'm usually working on the computer, but enjoy videogames in my off hours. I'm a PC gamer first, but own a Wii for parties. I'm a big fan of First Person Shooters, RPGs, and online social games. My recent staples are League of Legends, Skyrim, Guild Wars 2 and of course Minecraft.
My favorite foods are (in no particular order) tomatoes, mashed potatoes, mushrooms, onions, garlic, beef stew, rice, olive oil, celery, simple things like that. Also, pizza is my life blood.
It's very rare when someone mentions a subject I haven't spent some time thinking about and researching because of my writing. Pondering is one of my favorite things to do in this world.
I'm loathe to mention this because nobody really knows what it means, and it all too often makes people think I'm some kind of emotionless, empathy-less robot, which isn't the case. What is the case, however, is I can't tell how my behavior is coming across until after the fact, so I can be a bit blunt. (Like now.) But I do want to put my full, real self here - both the good and the bad. One person felt hurt when I told them this and it wasn't on my profile - and hurting one person is one person too many, for me. So here this information sits. I sincerely hope it doesn't drive you away.
Social anxiety disorder is another thing I have to deal with. Those two diagnoses put together are the major reasons why I don't currently work. For both working and dating, it's a pretty severe handicap, and one I'm constantly working to try and overcome. It's difficult for people to understand this, but I literally do not know how to sell myself to other people, or how to get their attention or stand out. I try and it never seems to go how I expected, and it's very difficult for people to understand what I'm trying to communicate on the first try. Hopefully you're patient enough to give me enough chances to express myself properly.
I'm not necessarily averse to social situations - and in most cases you probably wouldn't be able to pick up on the nervousness boiling beneath my surface. It's just I'm so uncomfortable most of the time I'll choose solitude over the alternatives unless I'm with someone who makes me feel safe. Invite me somewhere and I'd be happy to go! Otherwise I'll probably just stay indoors.
That said, I like ladies who know how to take initiative. My ideal partner is someone who knows what she wants and lets me know what it is. Sometimes I just don't get it - and a nice clue bat every once in a while really helps things stay smooth when I'm with another person.
I am open to long-distance relationships. Considering everything I've written above, having a relationship start that way might be ideal - although I'd always have the goal of meeting in person. And I won't shy away from you if you're already nearby.