Switched back to electronic cigarettes recently, so technically I "vape". I'd like to quit vaping soon, but am not going to rush myself.
I have a massage certificate (though not enough hours to practice in Indiana nowadays - I have to call it "bodywork") and I've taken many college classes at several colleges and universities. I probably have an actual AA in there and the knowledge level equivalent of a Bachelor's, maybe close to a MA. "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." Yeah, very me. And I must admit I can be rather undisciplined, though also voracious when it comes to knowledge. Mostly psychology, and a little IT and philosophy.
Right now I'm living with my mom. It started as me helping her (the reason is personal to her - I'll share when we build enough trust). I've since figured out ways to help her without living with her, but now she's helping me financially to begin my bodywork practice, and living rent-free is part of that. Hopefully soon to change.
Movies: The Secretary, American Beauty, Pi, The Secret of NIMH, Grosse Pointe Blank, Slam, Fight Club, Shrek 2, Pan's Labyrinth, Lost Highway, Six Degrees of Separation, The Princess Bride, The Dark Crystal, Like Water for Chocolate
Shows: Six Feet Under, Dexter, The United States of Tara, The Walking Dead, Big Bang Theory, Wilfred, Firefly, Planet Earth, Inside Comedy, Sexual Healing, Northern Exposure, The Booth At The End, Lucky Louie, Sex God Rock 'n Roll, Twin Peaks, American Horror Story, The West Wing
Music: Tons of types, but few musicians within each. Eclectically picky. Some I enjoy are Tool, Tori Amos, Stuart Davis, Ani Difranco, Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, Charles Mingus, BB King, Otis Redding, Willie Dixon, The Reverend Horton Heat, KT Tunstall, Morphine, Nirvana, Soul Coughing, Leonard Cohen, Slint, Clutch, Devo, Dido, Berlioz, Miles Davis, Jimmy Hendrix, Crosspulse, Yo-Yo Ma.
Food: Everything, especially my grandma's Italian. Sushi and Indian are big favorites.
I do not crush the world's corolla of wonders
and I do not kill
with my mind the secrets I encounter
in my way
in flowers or in eyes, on lips or tombs.
The light of others
chokes the spell of the arcane hidden
in depths of dark
with my own light I heighten the world's mystery
and just as with its white beams the moon
does not abate, but quivering
increases the secrets of the night,
so I enrich the dark horizon
with ample shivers of holy mystery,
and all that's recondite
gains greater depths
under my very eyes -
for I do love
the flowers, and the eyes, and lips, and tombs.
Regarding spirituality: I go back and forth, but I explore what I've experienced, which is beyond what seems ordinary, though I hesitate to call it spiritual. It's a feeling, a warmth that fills me sometimes (which I cultivate). It's wonder at art or simple things, like the way I feel like I'm soaring with a bird when I watch it, or how poetry can lift me out of myself yet deeper into myself at the same time. I also have experienced many "psychic" phenomena that I can't explain and were so specific and personal that it's apparent there's something going on, but I don't know what. I tend to think it's like the quote I'm not remembering, about what is not yet understood seems like magic. I like mystery. I like discovery. I also like the scientific approach to these things, which can be combined with wonder and some theoretical musing that is exciting. I'm open yet discriminating and actively explore with meditation and other practices.
"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man." ~ Albert Einstein
I'm slowly coming out of a difficult period over the last few years involving disappointments, depression and isolation. This goes in waves, but generally up. Not looking for a savior, but a partner who's on a path they'd like support on, as well. Unfortunately, my anxiety can be limiting at times, though when I feel safe with someone, I become a big goofball, much more graceful, and very interactive. My anxiety will probably come out quite a bit when I first meet someone, as in a shaking voice, lack of eye contact, blushing, and being vewy vewy qwiet. Personal, internal growth is very important to me and I like to share the path with people I am truly intimate with. If you have questions, feel free to ask. I'm pretty open about it.