ShaneIsAPain
26 Las Vegas, United States
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ShaneIsAPain
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My self-summary
My name is Shane, and I'm an asshole. You can stop reading now. No? Still here? Ok, well in that case. I'm not REALLY an asshole, just fun. I love life, reading, drinking, and spending time with people I like. Are you one of those people? Who knows, but let's find out!
What I’m doing with my life
"A truly amazing man."
-The NY Times

"Funniest person I know!"
-Louis CK

"One of this generation's most brilliant minds."
-Mensa International

"This guy could kick my ass easily."
-Chuck Norris

"By far my favorite grandkid."
-Some random lady I don't know

"I really ****ed up letting him go."
-You when we break up.

"The most interesting man in the world..."
-Your mom
I’m really good at
I'm a classical pianist and have played since I was 4. I also used to be a professional magician, I don't do that anymore but I'm still good at anything involving my hands. Can solve a rubik's cube in under a minute, also can do it blindfolded. I also can do memory stunts and can remember the order of a deck of cards after looking at it once. I like to read, like to cook, and in general am constantly trying to further who I am as a person, and struggle to meet people who are similarly driven.
The first things people usually notice about me
The scar I have over my left eyebrow, my confidence (Which can come across as arrogance at times), and the fact that I'm not shy or intimidated by anything or anyone. I don't believe in awkward moments, only awkward people. I also enjoy conversing/debating about anything from politics to religion to philosophy so my ability to talk about almost any subject is another trait people often point out.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Call me boring, but I love non-fiction. I love to learn, so I read a lot of books on business, real estate, and self-improvement. As for movies, anything with Will Smith in it, he's a great actor. Music varies a lot, I like anything but country. Watch The Duck, Flobots, Eminem, Queen, The Beatles, John Legend, Childish Gambino...
The six things I could never do without
1. My brain (I'd die without that)

Everything else I could probably live without if they put my brain in a cryogenic lab and preserve it for future generations like in Futurama. Though having a penis is nice, I'd probably miss sex if that was cut off in some freak accident.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Those chocolate chip cookie pies from pizza hut. Damn those things are delicious.
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing the same thing I do every night, trying to take over the world! That or I'm just smoking hookah and drinking while deciding what cool renovations to do to my condo. Currently in the process of renovating my condo. Recently retiled my floor and am about to repaint since I'm tired of the same color after 6 years.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a tiny penis, and am horrible in bed. Seriously, you don't want to have sex with me I promise. I last like...10 seconds, and that's on a good day. *Wink*
You should message me if
You can hold a conversation and don't use the words bae, YOLO, or salty.
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