25 Frederick, United States
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My self-summary
Hello! Welcome to my profile.

I'm awesome , and
you'll realize that if you just stick with me to the bottom of the
page. I know I seem like kind of a bitch, and I am. I kind of hate
by default, until you impress me. I'm easily impressed, so don't

I was named after this song and NOT this one
Sometimes my phone makes beeping noises like I have a new text, but I don't and I'm afraid there's a ghost.

Sometimes I can't tell if I really like cashews or I really like salt.
I like my women like I like my nuts! A-salt-ed!
....that was in poor taste.

I don't have nuts. And a cashew is a seed.

I have narcolepsy with cataplexy and fibromyalgia. Look it up if you never have. It's a fairly significant chunk of my life.

I try both way too hard and not hard enough. Some things come naturally to me, so I become lazy. For instance, I've been told I have the potential to become a decent writer. But I'm just barely good enough that I'm satisfied, and practically refuse to work on it. Other things don't come easily to me. My emotions don't seem to run the way other people's do. I cried at "The Little Mermaid" because she was so happy in the end, but she deserted her family.

Family means a lot to me. So do friendships. I have some good
friends on here. You should check them out. :)
These are my irl friends, pre-okc. They're incredible people.

Where was I? Rambling about myself? Well, I don't feel bad about it; after all, this is where you learn about me. I have a lot to say. Sadly, not much of it is interesting or worth saying. That
rarely stops me though. If you'll let me, I'll talk for days and
weeks and years.

I'm the kind of person that picks through my lo mein and eats out all the chicken first, and then is disappointed that there is no more chicken when I start on the noodles themselves.

Now that my friend pointed out to me that OK is a stick figure from the side, I can't un-see it. The same way I'll forever read
"because I could not stop for death" to the Gilligan's Island theme song tune.

I have the "put a banana in your ear" song stuck in my head.

I love tools. I like to build.
To imagine me is to imagine a
woman who will build a tree-house, and a tire swing.... then come out and give you tea and fruit.
To imagine me is to imagine a woman in a men's shirt, laying in the grass and looking up at the sky...basking in the glorious sun or trying to see beyond the stars.
To imagine me is to imagine a woman in overalls, covered in paint...standing before a canvas with a paintbrush in her mouth,
looking over the top of her glasses to squint at some detail.
To imagine me is to imagine a woman curled up in front of the
fire with some ridiculous book in her hand, refusing to turn on a
To imagine me is to imagine insanity rolled in convention.

I'm much more likely to insult you to your face than behind
your back. Nothing bothers me more than people who avoid
confrontation......if there's a problem, I like to know about

Also: Fair warning.....My life is full of drama. I don't start it,
or like it, but it seems to follow me around. If you're one of
those people that says "I can't deal with drama," don't

You can bet, before we're through, Mister I'll make a man out of
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to figure it out. Trying to get it under control. Trying to lose control.

I'm a framer. I work in a craft store putting together art and picking out the best ways to preserve and display it.

I'm not saying my job is worse than rape, but sometimes when I get home there's glitter in my underwear.

I've noticed lately that I'm kind of insane, and I've had some wonderful, incredible people telling me I'm all the more incredible for it. I try my very hardest to be a good person. I have a pretty good starting point, but I like to challenge and push myself up to the next level.
I’m really good at
I'm really, really good at making. My best and favourite thing in the world is to create. I run into the problem of making stuff I don't want....paintings, cookies, jewelery, drawings, clothes, various foods.....I have these cakes I like to make....but I don't eat cake so it's such a waste. I end up giving them away. Once, I made hobbit hole cake. It was cute. And tasty. I like to do hair and makeup, but I don't wear makeup myself... it's way too big a commitment, plus I'm always touching my face and I mess it up, so it's very rare I put any on. I'm good at compliments, and I'm good at pushing people away.

I'm also really very good at getting to know people. I'm one of those obnoxious people that can predict your mood or words or actions after just a few interactions, and usually less than you think it should be. You'll feel vulnerable and exposed, and you'll be upset that I was able to see through you. You'll either come to respect me for it or you'll despise me for it. If you're a stranger, neither really matters to me, but I like it better when people like me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I try really, really hard to get you to like me.

Also, I have big boobs and a big nose.

It's pretty likely that I'll either be shy and awkward or speaking incessantly and saying little.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love to read, and my favorite books right now are the books in the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. Although, I've never read a Stephen King that I didn't enjoy. I'm also kind of ashamed to admit that I got caught in in the Stephanie Meyer series. And I don't think that having a vampire as a boyfriend seems to be good; especially one as abusive as Edward. And that's all I'll say on that topic.
I love trashy romance novels and stupid teenybopper books. Also, I'm a sucker for children's books. Artemis Fowl, The Series of Unfortunate Events, and the Princes Diaries are all pretty awesome. I'm a pretty fast reader, so I can't keep myself in books. Therefore, I've read more books this year than most people do in their whole lives. It's a pretty sad life. But not really. Oh! Speaking of sad....I HATE happy endings. With a passion. I think that's why I love the Stephen King books. Because if the main character makes it, all the people around him suffer/die. And you know what? That's what happens in real life, too.
You know how they say you can't judge a book by it's cover? Well, that's straight up stupid. The cover has the title and usually a synopsis. When I go to the library, I pick an aisle and I randomly pick about five books just by the spine. Then I go and pick about five more from authors I know. Except I have read most of Piers Anthony's novels. The summer of 2009 was the summer I read the sci-fi section at our library.

Speaking of books and movies, the book was better.
I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. IT WAS BETTER.

I didn't even like the Harry Potter Movies, even though I loved the books. I just recently watched Firefly and Serenity, and I must say......I'm one of those nerds that wants more. :( I have a HUGE crush on Captain Mal. I also dig Doctor Who, Torchwood, ASOIAF,The Avengers, Doctor Horribles sing-a-long blog, and Futurama. I also like South park, the simpsons, Grey's anatomy, Supernatural, New Girl, and a myriad of other tv shows that are not like eachother, including but not limited to: Archer, Arrow, Merlin, Bob's Burgers, Malcolm in the Middle, Breaking Bad, Parks and Recreation, The Office, The Big Bang Theory, and Gilmore Girls.

I don't do scary movies though. I like movies that make me laugh. And animated children movies. And, as much as anyone knocks them, the Disney moves from about 1998 and before were works of art, and they are all beautiful. And very very entertaining. :) The animations and drawings in some of them are beautiful, and the talent of the voice actors surpasses anything made today.
Some of my favorite movies, in order of when i can remember them, are:
Labyrinth, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Beauty and the Beast, The Princess Bride, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Catch and Release, The Three Musketeers, The Count of Monte Cristo, and Men in Black.

I really like old-time music. I swear, nobody sings like Sinatra. And Dean Martin. But I also like a bunch of other kinds. My problem is that I never remember song titles or artist names. As it comes to music, I'm one of those people that say "I'll listen to everything." And it's true. But I think there's a time and a place for everything. And a mood. when I'm by myself, I generally like to listen to classical, swing and jazz, but with a healthy dose of acoustic music. I have big love in my heart for the John Butler Trio, though. And Mumford and Sons. And great Big Sea. Sometimes I get pumped and like music with loud words, so I can sing. With my friends, I listen to top 40. At places with dancing, I even enjoy rap. It's seriously just my mood. Lately I've been dabbling in a lot of music like Marvin Gaye and the Temptations. Probably next week I'll be on Metallica.

And I love to eat the oriental flavored Ramen noodles. And the mushroom Swiss boca burger at Denny's. With hash browns.I And I love ice cream. I'm lactose intolerant and milk makes my tummy hurt, so I don't often consume it. I like fruit more that almost any food except bread, and in fact crave oranges before my period. I haven't actually had the mushroom swiss boca burger from denny's for a long time and right now can't think of anything else. I want it more than I want nearly anything else. I just went to Denny's and had the chipotle chicken skillet and it was pretty good, but my mac 'n cheese was shells and alfredo. I like alfredo, and love shells. But when I get myself all excited for mac 'n cheese and get that instead, it's a bad time.

I love french toast and bagels, like waffles as a friend, and dislike pancakes.

I am a lightweight. I am a three drink drunk. I do not drive with any amount of alcohol in my system. I can feel the effects of one drink, and I figure that if I can feel it, it's having an effect on my body and will not be good for safe driving. So I do most of my drinking wherever I'm going to sleep. I like dry wines, most rum drinks, and whiskey and whisky. I've been known to enjoy orange soda with whipped cream vodka, but my favourite drink I've ever had is pineapple juice and coconut rum.

I don't really like Demetri Martin, but I love Mitch Hedberg. I fall out of my chair laughing at his jokes. And I find myself talking in his typical cadence after I watch him for a while.

I recently started to learn to play MtG and I am really digging it.
The six things I could never do without
A hair brush, because I like to run my fingers through my hair.

Hugs, because they make me feel safe and warm.

Showers, because I like them....they're all wet and soapy and clean and warm and I never feel any pain in the shower.

Tea...I just love tea. And hot chocolate. mmmmm....

Soft kisses with your fingertips on my jawbone.

Pencils. I use them for everything...drawing, holding my hair up, giving me something to chew on. Pens are cool, and I like the challenge of shading with one. But pencils and I go way back.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I love to think about people. People are so interesting sometimes, and I like to try to figure them out so I can predict them. I also like to imagine little scenarios. Like, me walking up to someone and just kissing them. Would they kiss back? freeze? freak out? hit me in the face? Grab me in a passionate embrace? Will we ever speak? Will they be the person I'm meant for? If I had never done it, would I end up alone, or totally different? I want to walk up to someone and do something that just changes their life forever. I want to leave my mark on everybody, even if they don't even realize what I've done.
I like to imagine that each choice we make takes us down a different path, and the alt. universe created by the decision is something infinite and worth pondering. But I've been told I hide inside my head and over-think things.

Also the fact that narcolepsy is an immune disease. I think it's crazy.
On a typical Friday night I am
Reading by myself, pretending I'm okay with not having plans.

I really DO need to finish this book, know...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm going to be an English teacher. But I don't want to be divorced and bitter. And I want to have kids. And I want to live in a house. Where there's a good school. I want to be a milf, and the community mom. You know, that one who's house is like the "cool place to be".....for all the neighborhood kids to be in and out all the time. To always have fresh baked cookies. To have a tire swing in the back yard, and a husband to cook dinner for.

...... And I don't want any of that any time soon.

Also, I have a statistically average number of ovaries, and a whole slew of neurological disorders. So that's cool.
You should message me if
You like me.

Or if you don't, I'm not picky about conversation.

But try saying more than hi. I don't like trying to start a convo if you messaged me first.
For real.

I've never done karaoke even though I love to sing and perform. Message me if you want to screech out some 90's songs with me

Message me if you don't think my name is sherip but is actually Sheri.

Don't message me trying to correct me about my ovary. I know how to math.

And if you're messaging me just because you want to have sex with me, you're gonna have a bad time. And if your message is telling me that I have a long profile, I will ignore you. And I will not feel bad about it.