26Frederick, United States
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My self-summary
The other night I had a dream that I was at work and my glass bin was full. So instead of rolling it out to the dumpster while wearing my laceration resistant gloves and carefully emptying it, I just grabbed the broken pieces and started flinging them down the aisles, where they'd shatter with an incredible noise.

My coworker told me to stop, and I just looked at him and said no. Then I three more glass.

It doesn't take a psychiatrist to tell me that I'm definitely crazy.

I am passionate about the fact the the Oxford comma is a useful and necessary grammatical device. If you disagree, you can gtfo.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to figure it out. Trying to get it under control. Trying to lose control.

I'm a framer. I work in a craft store putting together art and picking out the best ways to preserve and display it.

My store closes at 9. The other night, an obnoxious lady didn't finish her transactions until 9:46. If you are a person who would still be in a store that late and be okay with yourself, do not message me and also kill yourself.

I'm not saying my job is worse than rape, but sometimes when I get home there's glitter in my underwear and socks.
I’m really good at
I'm really, really good at making. My best and favourite thing in the world is to create. I run into the problem of making stuff I don't want....paintings, cookies, jewellery, drawings, clothes, various foods.....I have these cakes I like to make....but I don't eat cake so it's such a waste. I end up giving them away. Once, I made hobbit hole cake. It was cute. And tasty. I like to do hair and makeup, but I don't wear makeup myself... it's way too big a commitment, plus I'm always touching my face and I mess it up, so it's very rare I put any on. I'm good at compliments, and I'm good at pushing people away.

I'm also really very good at getting to know people. I'm one of those obnoxious people that can predict your mood or words or actions after just a few interactions, and usually less than you think it should be. You'll feel vulnerable and exposed, and you'll be upset that I was able to see through you. You'll either come to respect me for it or you'll despise me for it. If you're a stranger, neither really matters to me, but I like it better when people like me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I try really, really hard to get you to like me.

Also, I have big boobs and a big nose.

It's pretty likely that I'll either be shy and awkward or speaking incessantly and saying little.

I have a customer service face and also resting bitch face. I usually look pretty grumpy. I usually AM pretty grumpy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like fantasy, comedy, sci-fi, and romance.

I have very eclectic music tastes, and I'm super picky about food.
Six things I could never do without
A hair brush, because I like to run my fingers through my hair.

Hugs, because they make me feel safe and warm.

Showers, because I like them....they're all wet and soapy and clean and warm and I never feel any pain in the shower.

Tea...I just love tea. And hot chocolate. mmmmm....

Soft kisses with your fingertips on my jawbone.

Pencils. I use them for everything...drawing, holding my hair up, giving me something to chew on. Pens are cool, and I like the challenge of shading with one. But pencils and I go way back.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I love to think about people. People are so interesting sometimes, and I like to try to figure them out so I can predict them. I also like to imagine little scenarios. Like, me walking up to someone and just kissing them. Would they kiss back? freeze? freak out? hit me in the face? Grab me in a passionate embrace? Will we ever speak? Will they be the person I'm meant for? If I had never done it, would I end up alone, or totally different? I want to walk up to someone and do something that just changes their life forever. I want to leave my mark on everybody, even if they don't even realize what I've done.
I like to imagine that each choice we make takes us down a different path, and the alt. universe created by the decision is something infinite and worth pondering. But I've been told I hide inside my head and over-think things.

Also the fact that narcolepsy is an immune disease. I think it's crazy.
On a typical Friday night I am
Reading by myself, pretending I'm okay with not having plans.

I really DO need to finish this book, know...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm going to be an English teacher. But I don't want to be divorced and bitter. And I want to have kids. And I want to live in a house. Where there's a good school. I want to be a milf, and the community mom. You know, that one who's house is like the "cool place to be".....for all the neighborhood kids to be in and out all the time. To always have fresh baked cookies. To have a tire swing in the back yard, and a husband to cook dinner for.

...... And I don't want any of that any time soon.

Also, I have a statistically average number of ovaries, and a whole slew of neurological disorders. So that's cool.
You should message me if
You like me.

Or if you don't, I'm not picky about conversation.

But try saying more than hi. I don't like trying to start a convo if you messaged me first.
For real.

I've never done karaoke even though I love to sing and perform. Message me if you want to screech out some 90's songs with me

Message me if you don't think my name is sherip but is actually Sheri.

Don't message me trying to correct me about my ovary. I know how to math.

And if you're messaging me just because you want to have sex with me, you're gonna have a bad time.
The two of us