31Phoenix, United States
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My self-summary
Have you ever owned a pug? I ask only because I've better luck with women that can appreciate chubby, ill-constructed creatures with breathing problems.

Myspace style Background music for this profile:

3 fictional characters;
The Dean from Community, because I love costumes and camp
Troy because I'm goofy, earnest and enthusiastic
Abed because I can only explain myself in term of genre conventions and fictional characters

When people give a list of adjectives for themselves I've found it oftenproves more aspiration than actual. Which no judgement there, when you're branding yourself in the way fast paced capitalist society demands of you to you're gonna become a series of buzzwords.

I'm a series of stories.

ENFP, Hufflepuff, Air, Gemini*

I share a birthday with Prince and Micheal Cera. I am basically their fusion.

Depending on whichever one of those you place stock in. It's all just a starting place for self mythologizing anyway.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to build a life I won't regret in 20 years.

Hosting bar trivia semi-regularly

I'm in a bit of a transitional period. Looking for a career path that will;
Provide income and stability
Help people
Allow me the freedom to travel semi-regularly.
Doesnt drive me to drink heavily.

*I post this not without trepidation, as many of the cool, nerdy, skeptical sort of people I'm looking get to know count any sort of astrological superstition as an immediate disqualification. But, you know what fuck that noise. I don't get along with elitist judgmental nerds anyway.
I’m really good at
Being open-minded, listening, making people laugh, observing people, and having fun no matter what I am doing.

I guess you could call me a "bad boy" in the sense i'm bad at things while also being immature.

I just find people so fascinating. I'm genuinely interested in how people think and what happens to them! Because of this when people talk to me, perhaps I'm not as quick to make value judgments as most people.

Singing Hamilton lyrics
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm probably dancing.

I'm trying to get people to tell me about themselves, or trying to make everyone laugh.

That I smell of Bay Rum, Lime, Sugar Cookies, and Tobacco.
Cause if you want to attract pirates ladies, you gotta smell the part.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
As i grow older the more I question the utility of selecting a woman through a heavy interagration of the kinds of art they consume.

I really like talking about art. Or to be more precise, stories. I like talking about stories and themes and why some stories work and other don't, and what characters represent, and why certain kinds of people like certain kinds or art, and why Taylor Swift and Kanye West maybe aren't so different and both have value as artists and...well all that wibbly wobbly liberal arts crap.

BOOKS - Pretty much anything by; Douglas Adams, Neil Gaiman, Robert Greene, Kurt Vonnegut;

A Song of Ice and Fire, The Autobiography ofMalcolm X, The Moral Animal: The new science of Evolutionary Psychology, Dresden Files, The Audacity of Hope, Freakonomics, Kitchen Confidential.

Movies - Pacific Rim, Pan's Labyrinth, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Halfbaked, Kevin Smith Films, Judd Apathow movies, Tarrentino films and Spike Lee joints, Hot Fuzz, Iron Man, 12 Angry Men (the original), Hudsucker Proxy, Bad Boys 2, Pirates of the Carribben. Also anything Edgar Wright has done.

T.V. - Legion is my new jam. Rick and Morty FLCL, How I met your Mother, One Piece, Community, Breaking Bad, Louie, Venture Brothers, Gravity Falls, Arrested Development, Sealab 2021, The Daily Show and Happy Endings. I really don't watch alot of T.V. on television. Most things I like are DVD or online.

I like these songs. These are song I rock out to.
Jackson 5 - Dancing machine
Daft Punk - Cresendolls
Cardigans - Lovefool
Kendrick Lamar - Rigormortis
Tower of Power - What is Hip
Marina and the Diamonds - Primadonna Girl
Someone still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - Cardinal Rules
Weezer - You Gave Your Love to me softly
Cake - I Will Survive
Had Mar Superstar - Girls Only
Vulfpeck - Sky Mall
Six things I could never do without
"Water, 35 liters. Carbon, 20 kilograms. Ammonia, 4 liters. Lime, 1.5 kilograms. Phosphorous, 800 grams. Salt, 250 grams. Saltpeter, 100 grams. Sulfur, 80 grams. Fluorine, 7.5, iron, 5, silicon, 3 grams, and trace amounts of 15 other elements." Because if we are going to do the purely literal interpretation of the question why not go super nerdy.

People. I'm an exotrovert, meaning I draw my strength from people. Entertaining friends, meeting new people, and helping them solve their problems is what I was put on earth to do.

"If you have a Garden and a Library, you have everything you need."

Physical activity. I like moving, and being out in nature, and I find I'm better person when I keep those things in my life.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The quote, "Look at you, hacker, a pathetic creature of meat and bone. How can you challenge a perfect immortal machine." as it applies to broken systems.

How to transmute White Guilt into getting laid. Or anything useful really. I've been told Pity Sex is the worst kind of sex, but I'd wager it's still the best kind of pity.

The alimentary canal. Did you know that when two people kiss they are creating an approximately 14 meter long tube between to assholes? Did you also know that's beautiful?

Why people do the things they do and act the way they act. What my parents were like when they were young. Where I'll be in 5 years.

Why the girls I be digging on, are all way more into tall gangly white dudes. All the nerd girls want their David Tenant, not chocolate Seth Rogen. (is this what a sapiosexual is?) I'm trying to reverse engineer what this says about me at my preferences. I find human attraction fascinating! I absolutely devour each of those okc trends post.

(this hasn't been as true as recently a fact i can only attribute to the popularity of Drake and Childish Gambino)


Vestigial organs.

How much weird monkey-lizard brain shit still runs society.
Like the age society makes women feel like they need to start lying about their age neatly coincides with the drop off in fertility. Or how studies show a correlation between being hungry as a child and how much a man finds larger chested women desirable.

Race. Politics. How to save the world.
On a typical Friday night I am
I like watching television, listening to television, listening to the radio, listening to television on the radio, watching television on the Internet, and watching the Internet on a television.

Looking at my dating history I do well with girls that relate deeply with Morticia Adams, Ramona Flowers, and April Ludgate. Mostly because I'm open, emotional, goofy, and I'm drawn to austere smartasses with big hearts ad impeccable fashion sense.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I share names with two William Shatner characters.

I say Caramel with only two syllables, unless I'm using it to describe myself.

I don't like people who say they don't read unless they have to. This is dreadfully important. If we go on a date and you say "Yea, I don't really read" or "I hate reading", my dick with fall off and start inching it's way back the home like a caterpillar*

If you listen to ICP, I'm just gonna call you juggalo
I ain't got time to be quantifying levels of juggalosity
You should message me if
-You're a sometimes messy, ebullient dreamer and looking for the same

-You have a geeky side but are not consumed by it, and/or you have a passion/hobby you can rant my ears off about.

-You're bodacious and loquacious.

-You're 23 or older. This profile isn't for babies. Which I only say to let the babies know how cool they are for being here. What's up you cool baby.

*or more like a snake really ohohoho
The two of us