28Ottawa, Canada
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I just bought a full set of linens and new pillows for myself because I needed them. My mom didn't even tell me to do it or anything. I'm pretty sure that makes me an adult.

I am passionate about monospace fonts, can talk for hours about some asinine shit that seemed important at the time, and have been known to eat entire boxes of cookies without noticing.
What I’m doing with my life
Sitting in a not-so-ergonomic chair, typety-typing on the clickety-clacks for the man. Investing wisely in my future I guess?

Also neurotically updating my profile, and indulging in various geeky pursuits (video games, cooking, bondage, whatever).

I live downtown, don't have a car, think motorcycles are unsafe, have no tattoos or piercings, am financially responsible, and ate haggis from a food truck one time. It was gross.
I’m really good at
I will obliterate you at cuddling, I will cuddle laps around your inferior cuddles. My cuddles are so adorable, baby animals abandon their mothers when they see me working it. I will cuddle coal into diamond. November 9th, 1989, the berlin wall went down -- cuddled. My cuddles are so fresh they are an FDA approved food preservative. My cuddles are so addictive I'm under surveillance by the DEA. If my cuddles were weapons of mass destruction, we'd have mutually assured annihilasnugs. The person who invented snuggies thought them up in after witnessing my cuddles. My cuddles are so tight, they are used as a high pressure sealant on space shuttle panels to survive in the vacuum of space, I will roll you up in a blanket burrito so cozy it violates the first law of thermodynamics. Battery dead? I can cuddle-start an engine. If there was a trophy about cuddling, it would have a plush me on top. In 1988, Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time" brought scientific literacy to the masses, the revised 1996 edition posits new theories about my cuddles.
The first things people usually notice about me
The booty.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm actually more into "not" liking things. It makes me seem more detached and in the know.

Oh! Actually there are some things I do like, but they're pretty obscure so you probably haven't heard of them yet.

For real though I'm so nerdy I like it when my video games to have actual spreadsheets in them. If possible, I like my video games to be embedded within other video games. It's turtles all the way down, man.

Nachos are good, so are music sounds I guess, Rick and Morty is a good show. I read all the popular books (even the dumb ones) just so I get to have an opinion on them that isn't entirely based on hearsay.
Six things I could never do without
-Attending the gym 1-3 times a week (or whenever convenient).
-Other people's pets.
-Balanced and affordable lunches to take to work (shawarma close enough).
-Whatever hobby I'm into for now.
-My fans.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The children.
On a typical Friday night I am
Drunk, like any well adjusted adult.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not particularly vibrant or interesting. I only sometimes attend parties, have few close personal friends, and like quiet nights in. That said, I'm comfortable with my lifestyle and have lots of time for someone I think is worth it.

I probably do want to sleep with you eventually, but believe it or not, there's also an entire human being attached to the other end. And if I seem disinterested, it's because I'd rather be too distant than inadvertently creep someone out.
You should message me if
-You have a strict no-murder policy.
-You are open to the idea of meeting a person in person.
-You're interested in my collection of authentic samurai sword replicas.
-You have impeccable taste in whatever it is you're into.
-You need an impartial stranger to look at something for you and tell you whether or not you should see a doctor. (Eew, and yes you should)
The two of us