So in a nutshell, I feel I am moderately successful in my life, trying to figure out what leads success, so I am going to take a new approach on life, and really try to understand what I see around me, and look at the woman I am attracted to, and be more like the men that they fall so madly in love with, and will do anything for;
So, I am going to quite my job, learn to spell a little less corecrly, grow my hair long, take a shower once a week, maybe pick up a bad habit or two, start expecting you to pay for dinner, drinks, and any spending money I might need, oh, if you have a birthday coming up, please remember to leave your credit card on the night stand so I can go buy you something nice. Also, I hope you have a nice couch, because I am going to invite some of my loser friends over and they will most likely never leave.... it will truly help if you got a second job, we need the money to feed us and my friends. On those occasions you want to go out with your girlfriends, I will be sure to hit on them so they don't feel left out, hey, its just the kind of guy I am, I care like that. Oh, I hope you also have a nice car, since I am going to sell my car for beer money and mostly will need to drive your car around, don't fret, I will drive you to work and back most of the time. Oh, and what I'm looking for, just someone to hang out with, have good times, and if you have a kid, no big deal, but please, if your kid is 28 months, I don't want to do math, and your kid is not aged cheese, just say they are 2, that works just fine.
Ok, you made it this far, you are so ready to send me hate mail because it struck a nerve and you dated "THAT GUY" and now you want to take it out on me, OR you just want to share and say it made you laugh.
Lets be honest, its just first looks that determine if you say hi or not, So say hi, I will say hi back, and probably a few more lines, so lets just start there.
Well, hope to hear back from you....
Jack n the box tacos
You are not offended by the line above.
You dont hang out with people who wear their sun glasses on their forehead or wear d-bag hardy clothing.
You do not smoke cigerets at 6am outside the front door, when you have a back porch
You do not refer to yourself in the third person
You have not been on dating sites for over 4 years
You like KFC Coleslaw
You know Kettle vodka is NOT a top shelf vodka
You are not in your PJ's more than half the day
You are 100% positive that you and your friends dont wear d-bag hardy clothing
Your eyebrows are thinner than mine
All your pictures here are not over 1yr old
You do not keep secrets about an alternate lifestyle
You do not drink wine out of a box
You just want to go on a drive and hit dive bars