SkunkhairJones
36 Manassas, United States
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SkunkhairJones
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My self-summary
I'm 5'6"..... If you don't like average-height guys, then keep on looking. Get that dish from the top shelf yourself. I'm the opposite of laid back. In fact, I'm tense as hell. I'm not well-travelled. Did I miss a Groupon to Macchu Picchu? Anything outside of Northern VA scares me and I consider Hicksville. I'm not bearded or look like a lumber jack. My Native American blood prevents me from growing facial hair. Move to Portland if you're into that kinda thing. I do have soft skin, though. Tough, manly, soft skin. You wanna have fun? Tough. I hate fun. When I take you on a date we're going to sit in traffic on I-95 or 66 listening to Nickelback. I expect a second date.

If you made it this far, great. You're either a masochist or you dig my humor. Or both? If you're both then definitely message me.

I'm looking for someone that I can, without question, let have the last slice of pizza. Are you that gal?

Awesome guy looking for an awesome girl that wants to do awesome things together. I'm dorky, hilarious, sometimes an idiot, sometimes a genius, and I have cute dimples. I do some nerdy things, but not alarmingly so. I have a tendency to be a night owl. But I can also wake up at the butt-crack of dawn. I also know how to use the proper your, you're, they're, their, and there. Because that's a thing. I've rocked the dad bod before the dad bod was cool. I have an amazingly strong upper body underneath the dad bod.

I'm also a softy.

So what am I looking for? All of the above. I've done the casual thing and it's not rewarding any more. I want something I can invest time, emotion, body, and get a return out of it. Whether it develops into something more or it develops into an awesome friend. I don't like the idea of losing people who enter my life.
What I’m doing with my life
I chose a career in retail management because apparently I'm a masochist. It keeps me on my toes because it uses both my business management skills and I get to lift heavy things.

When I'm not managing leadership guy I dabble in photography. Spend time with my son. Try to find some motivation to get back to bicycling and complete another century ride. And help run a nationally recognized supporter group for D.C. United.
I’m really good at
spitting rhymes
spitting
yo yo-ing
Shouting "yo!"
Binge watching
Binge Ben & Jerry's
Cooking Uncle Ben's
Quoting Jerry Seinfeld
parking on a parkway
driving on a driveway
Being a dummy (the creepy store kind)
Singing Creep
The first things people usually notice about me
My dimples. They're cute. Dimples are always cute. If you disagree then you must hate babies. It's the only logical reasoning.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Spoon River Anthology
Angels In America
RENT
Hedwig And The Angry Inch
Jesus Christ Superstar
Chicken
BBC
Nights at the theatre
Beatles
Portishead
Rapcore (yeah, I know, I'm still living in the 90s)
Reddit
D.C. United
Arsenal
Steak
Hamilton
Lin Manuel Miranda
Reddit
The Wild Party
Blockhead radio on Pandora
90's music.
The six things I could never do without
-An outlet for my commentary on a subject. It's funny and I need someone to hear it, dammit!
-Someone who will always understand my humor
-Being told that I'm an idiot and I'm wrong. Sometimes.
-My bicycle (I don't believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein or Superman. All I want to do is BICYCLE!)
-My memory of every single song lyric that I currently know.
-A good pair of socks.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
1: Why do checks even exist any more? We are this close to transferring money via telepathy and people still write checks at the store.
2: How could I have done that better? I constantly want to do better.
3: How I desperately want a giant sinkhole to appear at a Trump rally.
4: Whether or not I show up under the above average or hot filters for A+ members. If you're one please inform me.
On a typical Friday night I am
Working or playing some games online with some of my best friends who are now scattered about the country. It's my decompress mode. Or perhaps going out and enjoying a local beer. Netflixing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once saw this lady trip on something and face plant the floor. Instead of rushing to her aid I literally ran because I could not stop laughing. Visually it was hilarious to me. Don't worry though, I already know my table is reserved in hell.
You should message me if
You like substance. Conversation that organically grows into a date or more. Or perhaps you just need some arm candy for that wedding you were invited to. You want to get schooled in local beer. You can school me in local beer. No one goes into a date thinking this is the one that will grow in to a LTR. It's something that is explored and discovered. Let's go exploring.
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