SmellyUglyGuy
35Tarrytown, United States
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SmellyUglyGuy
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My self-summary
My buddies down at the methadone clinic say I'm awesome and I don't care what my Parole officer told you... hmm how about a list instead?

-*I now live a bit north of the city but I still work in Manhattan. After ~10 years of city life I needed to breath.*

-Complete raging nerd

-I'm looking for something real (a deep, meaningful, adultlevel relationship).

-I'm in the market for a dog, so if I mix you up with a profile from Petfinder, forgive me. I'm kind of in love with derpy old labs and was recently talked down from adopting two of them.

-I moved out of the city and I'm renovating a house in Sleepy Hollow, NY. This makes me a land owner and as Lord of the estate, I treat my serfs stern but fair (as long as their turnip/potato production is adequate). If you have design or construction skills that would be a plus!

-I also own an apt in BK, so that's my escape plan if I want to get back into the city.

-Meditative Yoga is deeply important to me, but I'm definitely not a dick about it.

-Rock climbing is my addiction. I used to spend most of my time upstate snuggling with cliffs but I'm recovering from surgery. Instead I watch climbing videos and pretend I'm in them.

-I love travel and have been to over 25 countries. I'm obsessed with any place that confuses me and if I can't pronounce it I want to book a ticket there.

-I spent a year traveling through India, the land of curries and no hurries. It involved traveling, volunteering, getting yoga teacher certified and roaming Asia. Also plenty of time with a stomach ache.
What I’m doing with my life
I lived in NYC for about 10 years, but needed some fresh air. That lead me to move above the city to get closer to rock climbing. Then I got hurt :/, so now I'm renovating my house while I patch my old man hips up.

Lately I've been getting involved in some of the new pro-left political groups. It feels good to be doing something besides screaming at my Facebook feed.

I work as a Computer Forensic Testifying Expert, specializing in data theft, which makes me a wannabe crime fighter. Basically I'm the nerd division of an investigation.
I’m really good at
Telling really offensive jokes and still having you love me.
The first things people usually notice about me
My resemblance to Kim Jung Un.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
mmm fooood...

Podcasts have basically taken over my free time: Pod Save America, Common Sense, Hardcore History, JRE, Waking Up, Stop Podcasting Yourself, Radiolab, Freakonomics.

Shows: Atlanta, BoJack Horseman, Battlestar Galactica, East Bound and Down, Snuff Box, It's Always Sunny, The Increasingly Poor Decision of Todd Margaret, Twin Peaks, Breaking Bad, Stranger Things.

Also, can we talk about how freaking good Master of None is?!

Music: Wheeler Walker Jr., Computer Magic, New Order, Ladyhawke, John Legend, Arcade Fire, Clap Your Hand Say YEAH!, Paul Simon (Graceland is the greatest album of all time), Wu Tang (36 chambers is 2nd best), The Cars, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Harry Belafonte makes me jump in the line.

Books: GoT, Economist, Ender's Game, Hitchhiker's Guide, Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates, Unbearable Lightness of Being, Shantaram, any Murakami, American Gods, anything fun that's fantasy or sci fi.
Six things I could never do without
- Breathing Deeply
- Dogs
- Travel
- Getting fat with friends
- Gratitude
- You?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to swing the House in 2018! Wanna help?
On a typical Friday night I am
Grabbing a beer or two with some buddies or reading a book.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
It was between "Smellyuglyguy" and "Holler Von Hollervitch".
You should message me if
You want to move someplace warm.

You'll either love or pretend to love my constant stream of bad jokes and puns.

You're looking for something real.

You're irreverent, ridiculous and love both corny and offensive jokes.

You're not interested in being pen pals; you'd rather grab a drink and see if it flows.
More
The two of us
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