38 Portland, United States
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My self-summary
I'm a simple man. Yet, explaining myself feels complicated.

I'm one of those people who has only a few friends, but they're closer to me than family.

Reformed nihilist. Born-again hedonist.

"Anybody's lover,
Everybody's brother,
I wanna be your lifetime friend.
Crazy as a rocket,
Nothin in my pocket,
I keep it at the rainbow's end."
--Dr. Teeth & The Electric Mayhem
What I’m doing with my life
Starting over. Again.
I’m really good at
Not taking myself too seriously.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I remind them of somebody.
That I'm shorter than I look.
That I'm older than I look.
That I usually answer simple questions with a long story.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: If I had to pick a favorite, it would have to be Transmetropolitan, a graphic novel by Warren Ellis. But that only scratches the surface. I'm in the habit of listening to audiobooks while I work, and lately I've been working through the Discworld and Dresden Files series'.

TV: I'm a big believer in serial dramas with a sci-fi/fantasy bend and a strong humor vein. I prefer sitcoms without laughtracks, but I'm not against them.

Movies: This is a can of f**king worms right here.

Music: Nerdcore Hip-Hop. If you haven't heard of that yet, here's a taste:

Food: I can't eat eggs. It's not an allergy, they just taste disgusting to me. Even the smell makes me ill. This has proven to be a greater problem then I'd thought it would be, so I'm just going to put it out there now.
The six things I could never do without
1. A balanced approach to the comedy and tragedy of life.
2. Absurdism.
3. Symmetrical coincidences (or coincidental symmetries).
4. An escape route.
5. Quiet time.
6. Deadpan humor.
7. A healthy skepticism towards the establishment.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The origins of life on our planet.

Ice cream flavor naming schemes.

The opposite of maybe.

Which first-string characters have to die.

A Disney song I haven't heard in 20 years.

Why nobody else noticed the spider is missing.

The number of times I say "okay" in a day.

Where my biological meat-suit ends and "the real me" begins, if at all.

The best way to start the next paragraph.

The price of tea (et al) in China.

The "Schrödinger's Cat" effect in everyday life.

On a typical Friday night I am
...texting all my friends to tell them I just realized "equal parts" is equal parts "equal" and "parts."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I enjoy musicals way more than society says a straight man should. I've considered leaving it all behind and moving to New York just to be closer to Broadway.


I'm pretty sure I've done (and enjoyed) every kind of relationship; monogamous, non-monogamous, polyamorous, asexual romance, FWB, casual flings, and was even someone's "last hurrah" once. Clearly, while everyone has a preference, it's not the relationship type that matters, but the person you're in the relationship with. Also, is there a bingo card I can turn in?
You should message me if
You want to be the Troy to my Abed.