32Chicago, United States
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My self-summary
I'm seriously interested in polyfidelity. I love dating both a guy and a girl together! I've done it on and off since college and now I'm hoping to start a relationship that can grow into something permanent.I want both a husband and a wife, and to be married to both of them. I want us to live together and love each other... kind of like 'Big Love', but we're not crazy Mormons and we girls have sex while the man's out of the house.

Although there are lots of couples on OKCupid who want to date a girl, unfortunately most don't want a serious relationship with an equally primary partner. They just want someone to date 'on the side', but that's not what I'm looking for (I mean duh!, really, who wants to be a third wheel?). I learned recently that the difference is that they want polyamory, but that I'm looking for polyfidelity. Such silly words.. why do people have to label everything?

I've been exploring the poly community and I've learned that the strength/closeness of the relationship between the girls is what decides whether a guy-girl-girl relationship stays together. That totally makes sense to me, because whenever my previous triads fell apart it was always because of issues between the other girl and me (usually because she and I just weren't that into each other or because she got jealous when 'her' boyfriend and I started getting more serious).

So, that got me thinking that the best solution is to find my female soulmate first, then in the future together we can find the right guy for both of us! We'd have our choice of any guy we wanted- what guy wouldn't want two beautiful girls? We'd have our pick of the best! (smile)

Interested? Check out my journal for the FAQ about dating me.

If you're interested in polyamory, or polyfidelity, I recommend that you check out, (Under the age of 40 only)
What I’m doing with my life
I woke up with this epiphany recently and decided to act on it.

I'm bi/queer and I want my future family to be a marriage-like relationship with both a man and a woman, polyfidelity. To make that happen I'm looking to fall in love with the right girl, and then someday we'll find the right guy for the both of us.
I’m really good at
I love fashion! I studied fashion design at SAIC- but now I work as a retail slave and barista slinging overpriced mocha-chinos... ...sigh...
But at least I'm good at it!
The first things people usually notice about me
I've never asked, but if I had to guess I'd say it'd be the hair. It seems to stand out, at least figuratively. Strangers comment on it.

Personality wise, that depends on my mood at the time. You might notice that I like to listen, that I tend to always be playing with something (even if it's my own fingers), or that I have a deadpan sense of humor.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm finally getting back in to reading for pleasure now that I'm done with school. I love graphic novels, non-fiction, and romantic literature. I read and then promptly forget what I read, allowing me to re-read it in a matter of months. Which you'd think would be convenient, but isn't.

Movies...I'll just go ahead and list a few: Hedwig and The Angry Inch, Shawshank Redemption, Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Moulin Rouge, Anchorman, The Addams Family, Firefly/Serenity
Music-wise, I listen to a lot of EBM, gothic industrial, 80s music, and indie stuff. Bauhaus, Assemblage 23, and Gary Numan are some of my favorites!

Oh, and coffee. It's not really a food, but it deserves mention. I take my coffee white with 1 sugar. Coffecoffeecoffee.
Six things I could never do without
Chocolate, Sophie (my cat), my laptop, the internet, coffee, and long hot showers.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why are there are so few bi/queer girls looking for a couple, but so many couples looking for a single bi/queer girl to join them? Doesn't the fact that there's so many couples with bi/queer women that are looking for a girl to join them prove that a lot of women want to be in a MFF triad?

There are a lot of girls on OKCupid who want a guy-girl-girl relationship, but they're always dating a guy already. Most girls want to get her claws into 'her' guy first. Unfortunately, when I meet a girl I really like- her guy is rarely my type. I like masculine, dominant men who look handsome in suits. (smile) Most of these girls are dating ponytail-wearing renaissance-festival type guys with poorly groomed facial hair. I bet that if half those guys disappeared there would be a lot of really happy triads around here.
On a typical Friday night I am
Taking a long walk at night in the city and then home to cuddle my cat and read to wind down from my challenging week. I'm not really big on going out to clubs, bars, or parties, being as shy as I am.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If you contact me and you're not a single girl, I'll add you to the wall of shame in my journal and publicly mock you.
You should message me if
You're tired of dating and want a real relationship.
You're a single girl who wants to be in a great polyfidelity triad.
If we hit it off, we'll build a relationship together, then someday we'll find the right guy for both of us!

One piece of free advice about poly dating : Don't EVER be a couple’s first girlfriend! Haha, oh, the stories I could tell! Most of them have unrealistic expectations and have no idea what they're doing. It's all the drama of junior high dating all over again. The unexpected jealousy issues alone could fill a sitcom!

My advice, before you ever meet a couple, talk to their last girlfriend. She'll tell you what dating them is really like.
The two of us