34 Pensacola, United States
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My self-summary
Currently in Florida with plans to move back to the Los Angeles area this summer to be funny where it counts.

A few notes: I don't drink; it's cool if you do. I don't smoke; it's cool if you do. I don't care how old you are. Just be fun.

Also, I have a disability in my arms. I'm okay with it. I'm not okay with you if you're not okay with it.

I'm a professional touring standup comedian. That's neat. I also work at Navy Federal Credit Union. That's also neat.

Anything else you want to know, just ask.
What I’m doing with my life
Standup comedian and figuring out the rest as I go.
I’m really good at
Making people laugh. Video games. Tons of random sports and pro wrestling knowledge. Hugs.
The first things people usually notice about me
I think it's obvious... I wear glasses. I'm just like you. I don't want to be treated any differently.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books - The Dark Tower series by Stephen King, The Stand

Movies - The Wedding Singer, What Dreams May Come, Good Will Hunting, Stranger Than Fiction, Rat Race, Cloverfield, The Wrestler, Rachel Getting Married, Shopgirl, Crazy Stupid Love

Shows - Scrubs, Friends, How I Met Your Mother, Frasier, The West Wing

Music - Blue October, Matchbox 20, Goo Goo Dolls

Food - My mom's pizza casserole, spaghetti, and I swear to you I would have you all cast away into the wilderness for a lifetime's supply of buffalo wings
The six things I could never do without
1) Standup comedy
2) Sports (yes, I'm a stereotypical dude - go Cubs, Dolphins, and Clippers!)
3) Ears?
4) Video games
5) Buffalo wings
6) You, probably. You seem all right.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why so many girls on here think they're so sarcastic. You're not. Stop it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Telling jokes. Probably about you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You ask, I'll tell you. I'm not that private a guy.
You should message me if
You think you can keep up. If you can take a joke and are not easily offended. If you can spell. I'm a super picky guy, so try to impress me. It's okay if you're not perfect. It's not okay if you're boring. Bring something to me I can work with. Don't waste my time. Sounds harsh, but I'm a busy guy. If you can't dazzle me, I can't be bothered.

I don't care how "hot" you are. I've been with hot women. I don't need a hot woman. We're all going to look like English bulldogs one day anyway.