29Manhattan, United States
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My self-summary
Back on this site after years of being off. Ask me how I feel about it.

Essentially I like funny people.
If you don't like to laugh or make people laugh odds are we'll get sick of each other really fast. I also enjoy good serious conversation, but I would say only about ten percent of the time. Otherwise I'm more content just laughing. I don't know what I can really "summarize" myself as, so here's three random stories about me that all involve crying for some reason:
1. I went vegan for two weeks as a joke, I lost 7 pounds and made my father cry.
2. I once had the stomach flu and a rerun of "Family Matters" made me cry.
3. Once me and a group of friends were stuck in traffic on the highway and some heavy set woman pulled up next to us, driving alone, and bawling. For some reason this was the funniest thing I have ever seen.

I also feel like a day is complete failure unless I leave the apartment at least once for some reason. Sometimes for no reason at all - I just have a consistent need for a change in scenery.
What I’m doing with my life
I went to school for acting and did that professionally for a while. I hope to return to doing this in some capacity soon but I'd prefer to act in something I wrote/produced as opposed to living a life of waiting for my agent to call me to see if I can be an understudy in the national children's tour of "Little House on the Prairie" or some crap.

I currently work in food management at a very popular establishment by day and as a stand up comedian by night.

Resisting the urge to list my body type as "curvy"
I’m really good at
life, acting, cooking, video games, running, knowing what's on VH1 at any given time, laughing, procrastinating, driving, making lists apparently, sleeping (wait till you see me in action, I'm a pro), cuddling, phone etiquette, golf, reciting commercials/Nickelodeon shows from the 90's verbatim, analyzing above said commercials/ Nickelodeon shows from the 90's, analyzing the 90's
The first things people usually notice about me
I've been told I come across as intelligent and genuinely nice upon introduction, but I'm not sure if that's what people "notice". Besides, this is feedback I've received from various auditions and job interviews. In other words, not really the type of people I'm trying to meet with this site.
Depending on the context, you'll definitely notice I'm goofy.
Also recently an inordinate amount of people assume that I'm going to be "broey" (some word derived from the pseudo-noun "bro"), the prospect of which makes me sick.
I guess only you, the observer, would know.
I don't know, I hope it's something good like ...really thick calves?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Television: Mission Hill, Arrested Development, Older Simpsons, Clone High, It's Always Sunny, The Office, Game of Thrones, Louie, The League, Mad Men, Adult Swim, crappy VH1 shows
Books: IV, A Song of Ice and Fire, Fargo Rock City, Timeline, Jurassic Park, My Custom Van, Happy Endings, Sex Drugs and Coco Puffs, Killing Yourself to Live, The Lord of the Rings, Cat's Cradle and pretty much all non-fiction
Movies: The Godfather, The Godfather pt. II, American Beauty, Shawn of the Dead, The Big Lebowski, SLC Punk, No Country for Old Men, Goodfellas, Batman Begins, 12 Monkeys, The Lord of the Rings, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Dirty Work, Pulp Fiction among hundreds of others
Music: At the Drive-In, AA Bondy, The Shins, DFA 1979, Arcade Fire, The Strokes, White Stripes, Queens of the Stone Age, Wolf Parade, Interpol, Modest Mouse, Bright Eyes, Passion Pit, Blur, and I ironically learn all the words to the terrible pop music on Z100
Food: Lobster, Sushi, Burgers, Pizza, Steak; four things I hardly eat anymore but truly love.
Six things I could never do without
Parties, Comedy, Books, Friends, Money and Hot Sauce (And capitalization, apparently)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The future in general, quitting smoking, how my family and friends who aren't present are, the zombie apocalypse, what I'll be doing that night, what time I have to wake up the next day, drinking coffee, potential jokes, good jokes I've heard, what bark is made out of
On a typical Friday night I am
Define typical?

Odds are I'll be out somewhere seeing as most people designate that as their night to actually leave the house for recreational reasons.

I really love a good, dimly lit bar where it is lively but still quiet enough to have a good conversation.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm scared of bats
You should message me if
You're still reading this
The two of us