I want to write a novel. I wish I spoke Spanish. I respect logic and reason.
I feel more at ease when my house is clean. I have the habit of twisting and playing with my hair. I like cars in the way teenage boys do. I am frequently lost and refuse to ask for directions.
When I go to parties I frequently get the feeling that I don't belong... for some reason I don't fit - so I usually avoid them.
I don't follow sports. Please don't write me "go niners." You're talking to the wrong person. Really. Go outside. DO a sport instead of watching one. Just my two cents.
Rock climbing gives me peace. Lately I have felt lonelier than usual. I am extremely fit and I don't have trouble with my weight and I don't like to date people who are overweight. I tend to like men who are tall, dark and handsome and rarely have I ever found a blonde man attractive - not to say it's impossible - just rare. I love Greek salad and tawny port and massage and laying in bed reading on the weekends. Or extreme sports. Depending on my mood.
I want intimacy but I am afraid to be loved. It's not that I am afraid to be loved so much as I don't trust many people. I assume once they really get to know me they won't stick around... even though deep down I know I am a good person.
My therapist once told me "Fair is for 5 year olds" but I still wish life was more fair. That said, the universe owes me nothing. He also told me that to forgive doesn't mean you excuse what the person did to hurt you... It just means you don't expect them to make it okay. I can buy that.
I want to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. I have always wanted to go to Africa. I want to do something BIG in my life. Something that matters. I am so lucky that I need to share...
When I was young there wasn't an adult who stepped in when I needed it. I should be that adult. I am going to be that adult.
I often find that men want to fight with me... No kidding. It ranges from wanting to arm wrestle to wanting to take me out. I think I unintentionally send off some masculine, "combative" message and I am not sure when it happens or why... just an observation.
I want to travel around the world with someone I love. I was thinking today I want to take a year off work and see every country... not just visit but walk the streets, climb the mountains, swim in the rivers and meet the people.
I want to find the love of my life and take off with him... together we will live, live, live... But I am not waiting around for this to happen. In fact I have my doubts it's possible. But it's fun to dream.
I am extremely independent, self-reliant, strong, capable, and typically contented to be alone. But it would suck to be old and alone.