47San Francisco, United States
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My self-summary
How do you summarize a self? I have always been able to read people and I often tell people that I have a 97% accurate gut. We moved around so often that as I a child I was always the new girl so making friends doesn't come easily to me but when I finally get to know someone deeply I become a friend for life. I am very successful but never lose the fear that I will lose it all when the next great recession hits so I work my tail off and worry non-stop about work... except when I turn it off and then I do.

I want to write a novel. I wish I spoke Spanish. I respect logic and reason.

I feel more at ease when my house is clean. I have the habit of twisting and playing with my hair. I like cars in the way teenage boys do. I am frequently lost and refuse to ask for directions.

When I go to parties I frequently get the feeling that I don't belong... for some reason I don't fit - so I usually avoid them.

I don't follow sports. Please don't write me "go niners." You're talking to the wrong person. Really. Go outside. DO a sport instead of watching one. Just my two cents.

Rock climbing gives me peace. Lately I have felt lonelier than usual. I am extremely fit and I don't have trouble with my weight and I don't like to date people who are overweight. I tend to like men who are tall, dark and handsome and rarely have I ever found a blonde man attractive - not to say it's impossible - just rare. I love Greek salad and tawny port and massage and laying in bed reading on the weekends. Or extreme sports. Depending on my mood.

I want intimacy but I am afraid to be loved. It's not that I am afraid to be loved so much as I don't trust many people. I assume once they really get to know me they won't stick around... even though deep down I know I am a good person.

My therapist once told me "Fair is for 5 year olds" but I still wish life was more fair. That said, the universe owes me nothing. He also told me that to forgive doesn't mean you excuse what the person did to hurt you... It just means you don't expect them to make it okay. I can buy that.

I want to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. I have always wanted to go to Africa. I want to do something BIG in my life. Something that matters. I am so lucky that I need to share...

When I was young there wasn't an adult who stepped in when I needed it. I should be that adult. I am going to be that adult.
What I’m doing with my life
Travel. Do something important. Give, give, give. Be grateful. Share. Make an impact.
I’m really good at
I am an amazing friend. I am a great conversationalist. I am honest, reliable, sincere, involved and intelligent. I am mediocre but love rock climbing. I kick butt on a snowboard. I am a successful business owner. I am loyal. I am confident when I am not being totally insecure. I am really athletic if I am not depressed. I learn new things quickly. I am a good writer and one day hope to write a novel or my memoir but I am afraid it will get a giant O stamped on the cover.
The first things people usually notice about me
My intensity. Some people find me intimidating. I am confident, attractive, intelligent, and kind.

I often find that men want to fight with me... No kidding. It ranges from wanting to arm wrestle to wanting to take me out. I think I unintentionally send off some masculine, "combative" message and I am not sure when it happens or why... just an observation.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I read non stop. I am reading The Clown by Heinrich Boll. I rarely watch movies And don't often go to shows. Large crowds and loud noise makes me nervous and uncomfortable. I prefer quiet conversation with close friends
Six things I could never do without
my brains
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to find true happiness...when does life happen? Sometimes I catch myself waiting for something... Not sure what. And this is it. This is my life.

I want to travel around the world with someone I love. I was thinking today I want to take a year off work and see every country... not just visit but walk the streets, climb the mountains, swim in the rivers and meet the people.

I want to find the love of my life and take off with him... together we will live, live, live... But I am not waiting around for this to happen. In fact I have my doubts it's possible. But it's fun to dream.

I am extremely independent, self-reliant, strong, capable, and typically contented to be alone. But it would suck to be old and alone.
On a typical Friday night I am
Feeling grateful for the weekend so I can recover from the intensity of the week.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Sometimes I wonder if my childhood makes it impossible for me to relate to healthy people or healthy people to find me attractive.
You should message me if
Message me if you are intelligent, open minded, and available for a relationship. I am not interested in hooking up. I want long, intense conversations. I want to meet someone who has something to teach me... someone with good friends and the capacity to care. Someone who challenges me. Message me if you are attractive - extremely attractive - and interesting, funny, capable, loving, loyal, monogamous, and looking for love... I won't settle for less.
The two of us