32Tallahassee, United States
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My self-summary
Well holy shit, the universe has guided you to the most amazing dating profile EVER! Congratulations! Prepare to be amazed . . . or not. Im back and newly single! My name is Matt. I'm a funny, laid-back, friendly, outgoing guy who is looking to date someone who is essentially awesome (i.e., funny, smart, outgoing, has most of her teeth, etc.).

I suppose it would be nice if this hypothetical dream girl also enjoys some of the things I do. For example, exercise is important to me, so it would be fantastic to date someone who is also somewhat health conscious and enjoys exercise. I really enjoy yoga (Namaste, motherfuckers!). I also enjoy playing sports, watching FSU football, going out on the town. If you do all of these, then fantastic. Stop reading now and just message me RIGHT NOW. If you do some of these, that's cool, you're probably pretty awesome and you should message me without reading the rest of this shit anyway. If you do NONE of these, you can still message me, but only if you are hot.
What I’m doing with my life
I work as a financial regulator for the State. Also, looking for a FWB.
I’m really good at
Rescuing small animals in my spare time, saying ridiculous things that my gullible friends will believe, doing my job and auditing the shit out of this state, playing soccer and football, crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, spooning with my special lady friend..?
The first things people usually notice about me
That I definitely workout...but seriously no one has ever come up to me and said "You know what? The first thing I noticed about you was blah.." so I have no clue what others notice first about me. Feel free to Facebook stalk me and ask my friends if the lack of clarity is just eating you up inside.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: A Song of Ice and Fire novels. (I am eagerly awaiting the next book and hoping GRRM doesn't die before he's finished with the saga.)

Movies: The Bourne Trilogy (NOT LEGACY), some comic book movies (NOT Green Lantern, Catwoman, or Daredevil... FUCK that SHIT), Inception, Memento, Meet the Parents, The Shawshank Redemption, Terminator 2, Jurassic Park, Borat, District 9...many more just can't think right now.

TV Shows: Breaking Bad (my favorite TV show ever by far, liked it from the beginning, Cranston is an acting god and I will forever be indebted to Vince Gilligan for creating this show), LOST (except for that messed up ending...WTF Darlton?), Game of Thrones (love the books and the show is above average), Fringe, Intervention, early True Blood, Da Ali G Show, Restaurant Impossible, Off Their Rockers, The Jamie Kennedy Experiment.

Music: Classic and new rock, rap and some country...even some pop music. I can find songs in every "genre" that I like.

Food: Greek has to be my favorite cuisine.
Six things I could never do without
1. Listing things.
2. Auditing all of these motherfuckers.
3. Girls with a sense of humor.
4. My cerebral cortex.
5. Whataburger, because it's fucking amazing.
6. Teeth.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm willing to admit that I don't tell private things to total strangers.
You should message me if
you have looked at my profile 50 times;
you did not honestly believe I made over $1,000,000 or spoke Afrikaans, Cebuano, Esperanto, and Tagalog, because if you did, you certainly failed the first test;
you think we have potentially strong chemistry together;
you have a great sense of humor;
you have something interesting to say besides "Hi, how are you?";
you really need to have your business audited by the state.
The two of us