It was a dark and moonless night. The fog had rolled in off the shore and covered the lighthouse in a fine mist... Thus begins the novel that has become my profile. /;)
Holy hell... This has gotten out of control. Need to shorten these profile statements. Ain't nobody got time for this! O_o
But if you do have time, grab your favorite tea or coffee , that I might weave you tale of wonder and adventure, oh brave OKC warriors!! Or... Just sit there as I tell you general stuff as I think to write it. /;)
Statistically speaking, I'm probably not your type. But I'm cool with that. ^__~
I also have a slight addiction to text message smiley faces and emoticons... I put em everywhere. Don't kink shame. O_0
If you do happen read through most of these TLDR profile paragraphs, you WILL giggle. At least once. Or your money back. Unless you're a total pill with no sense of humor... Then this profile, and it's subsequent statements, aren't for you and I'm not paying you anything, you humorless pricks. O_<.
If you're (please note that I used "you're" correctly;) reading this, you are literate, and there are several scenarios that you may find yourself in:
Nothing better was on cable and stalking random profiles is a fetish of yours. /;)
You're desperate and/or horny. Though, to read your profile, neither of those apply specifically to YOU, just everyone else on here... (cough) 9.9
The aliens that abducted you have Internet and you're currently between probings. O_o
You got sucked in by the quizzes like I did back in 2005 and are now stuck in this interesting journey into self discovery and unintentional tribute to anthropology. Yay! ^_^
Wow... Since 2005... This is going to end up being a time capsule thing. O_o
Anyway... I haven't put pics on here of 'em yet, but I have tattoos of: Transformers symbols, Invader Zim & Gir, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, The Doughboys, Nail Bunny, Lenoire, Ragamuffin and Spooky. If you don't know who ANY of those are, there's a pretty decent possibility we will NOT get along... But there's a chance the aliens I mentioned above that abducted you haven't let you see those shows or comics so I forgive you. /;)
If you DO know any of those, you could ice break start a convo with me in HOW you know them and why you love them. /:)
The ONLY reason that this profile is filled out and all those questions answered is cause I've had it since 2005. Sadly, I have a life outside of OKC and I'm not here for the dating aspect. That being said, and if you read down further for details, I am available for intellectual/fun conversations and/or friends with benefits should there be mutual physical attraction and mental compatability. ^_^
Just so you know, despite me viewing your profile multiple times and/or possibly saving you to my favorites AND unless I already know you, I probably will NOT contact you first. Ya know why? Cause chances are you've already been messaged 50 million times by dudes with "You sexy", "Hey baby" or "Nice shoes! Wanna fuck?!" (My personal favorite because none of your profile pics actually show your lower half) and you're justifiably jaded and cynical.
Those lines, among others unmentioned, are just boring, annoying and sometimes downright rude! I applaud you for even looking at men ever again. Let alone, maintaining an OKC profile. /:P
But how can I (other than being cute, awesome, funny, great in bed, a snazzy dresser AND humble) compete with that?! Besides the fact that I don't have an abs pic and that I'm typing articulately, if not eloquently, what separates me from every other douche or psycho with lines like that on here? How would YOU know if I'm like them or not?! *gasp!* You don't. So I don't message you. Easy, no? But should you message me, I am pretty decent about replying. It's just common courtesy. ^_^
Mostly, I'll just admire from afar or answer the various questions that you answered that I thought were interesting. And you can go about your time on OkCupid unmolested by me. ^_~
FYI, I do have a Wife. Recently married in fact. And if that makes you wonder about the "open relationship" status, yes that still applies. Which is one of the many reasons I asked her to marry me. We are quite open and honest with each other and everyone else. Makes life easier. /:)
And NO, we are NOT going to ask you to be our third or seventh or whatever it is that other couples keep asking you that makes you start your profile summary with "NO COUPLES". So don't worry about that if, I appeared in your recently visited section multiple times that I'm gonna be all like, "You wants ta hook up wit me n my girly? We'll treat ya real nice like... Heh wink heh." Not that you aren't worth the effort... But I have better things to do with my time than cyber stalk you begging for sex. Plenty of other guys already doing that to you, I'm sure. /;)
Hope all is well and have a wonderful day! /:D
I am quirky, charming, and determined
While I may eventually sign up for OKC's "A-List", I don't currently have it. Thus, I can't see those of you that "liked/favorited" me. But I sincerely thank you. You make me blush. •^__^•
I've somewhat recently discovered the secrets and meaning behind life, the universe and everything and am currently writing an essay on the subject. So I guess you could call me "enlightened". Does this mean I have the answers to everything? Hardly. But I do have a way of seeing things I don't have answers for from a perspective of an individual that sees all life for what it is: Perfect and beautiful. /:)
I'm also trying to figure out a way to express it in an elegant and eloquent way. Like Einstein was able to sum up relativistic physics with E=mc2, I believe I will find a way to similarly sum up existence. It's a work in progress. ^_~
I am in a VERY loving AND open relationship. Before you doubt the seriousness of the relationship aspect, we've been together since 2007 and open from day one. And we recently got engaged. So I'd say our lifestyle choices are more than just a "phase". /;)
We are physically poly-amorous with other people but we're emotionally monogamous and very secure with ourselves. We like to "play" with others. But we will also only play with people we are comfortable with. We're also secure enough to play with others together or separately. We're kinda kinky and get off on telling each other about/acting out our "extracurricular activities". /;)
We each have our types but we're also open minded. I like petite or slim girls with nice legs. Small breasts are a plus but I'm sucker for slim either way. Bigger girls are pretty too, and I've occasionally had relations with em, but I'm not physically attracted to most larger girls. And before you think I'm shallow, would you get upset if a gay guy rejected you for being a woman? I'd hope not. Because you're not what they prefer. No different than your profile stating that you like taller men. Same principle here. I'm just plain sexually attracted to petite or thin ladies (I'd like to stress here that age [over 20 is prefered] is not a factor)... Born that way.
We both like goth or alternative style people as they tend to also be more open minded and laid back. We both like brown eyes despite us each having blue. She's bi-curious (but scared of vagina) and has a thing for curvy girls. She likes tall guys in eye-liner as well. If you fit any of this, let us know. /;D
Other than that, I'm generally handy and mechanically inclined. I could put together your bike or assemble your entertainment center. /;)
If you've read this far, I commend your attention span. /;)
Pantera, White Zombie, Devildriver, Type O' Negative, Slipknot, Fear Factory, Acid Bath, Agents of Oblivion, Deadboy and the Elephantmen, Static X, Rob Zombie, Skinny Puppy, Wolfsheim, VNV Nation, Apoptygma Berserk, DJ Satomi, NIN, Slayer, Sepultera, Coal Chamber, Korn, Black Sabbath, Paul Okenfold, Hanzel Und Gretyl, VAST, Bon Jovi, Iron Maiden, CCR, Steppen Wolf, Animals... I'll add more later.
Transformers, Army of Darkness, Not Another Teen Movie, Shawn of the Dead, ALL of the Matrix movies, ... More to be added upon recollection...
Addams Family, (SO Goth before Goth was Goth!) Heroes, Metalacolypse, Venture Brothers, Invader Zim, Lexx, Family Guy, Simpsons, Sealab 2021, Pucca, Transformers, Beast Wars and Beast Machines... More TBA.
Anything by Terry Goodkind, Jhonen Vasquez, Roman Dirge, Steven Hawking! Also, Robert M. Persig, J.K. Rowling, Voltaire (The Goth dude... Not the dead from Syphilis dude) and many others.
Optimus Prime... Uh... Hm. That's about it. Didn't have alot of human heroes growing up as the examples I had were flawed to the point of disinterest in being a human at all. I still strive to be a giant transforming robot... But until they perfect that "human brain in a robot body" thing, I'll strive to be a decent human being with robot like tendencies. /;)
Ps. If you got this far, I commend your curiosity. /;)
That "most private" thing is questions you're going to have to ask me directly. Why? It's just more fun that way. Plus, why spoil the mystery right off the bat by posting all my sundry bits here? And I have quite a few good stories too, as I live an out of the ordinary lifestyle. So feel free to ask me anything. ^_~
99+% of the time, I will NOT message anyone first. I don't like to intrude on anyone's day. I'm just here to be a voyeur. Besides, if I find you attractive, there's a good chance hordes of other dudes already do too. And they've probably messaged you enough creepy stuff to the point where you don't even want to look at guys anymore. Not my style.
Want to know more about me? Ask. ^_^