37Austin, United States
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My self-summary
Welcome to my clearly fake profile. You can message me if you like to joke around in the forums or like to chat but if you are looking for a relationship you have very poor aim.

500 f-ing words huh, for the love of god this sucks. OK I guess I will just talk about how much I hate typing 500 words on a fake profile. This is as stupid as waiting through a 2 hour sales pitch just to get some crappy free tickets to an event that you really are not even interested in but what the fuck, its free.

500 words.....well they don't mater so let me tell you that I like to laugh, and have fun, and party and all the crap that everyone that has a pulse likes.
What I’m doing with my life
I work way the hell too much so this is how I blow off steam. I joke around in the forums and attack those that are terrible to others.

I buy all of my woman friends sex toys for their birthdays, wanna be my friend?

LOL is he kidding?
I’m really good at
spontaneous combustion
The first things people usually notice about me
I burst into flames whenever I laugh at your pathetic suffering. More or less I am on fire all the time, even in the shower which does diminish its effectiveness. On the plus side though I am never cold.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Trolling the forums is more hilarious than just about anything on TV. Use the search function to find smashingmayo, we kicked his ass all over the forum because he hates women and is particularly bad at trolling.
Six things I could never do without
coincidentally the number 6
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Buying a car with a bigger trunk.
On a typical Friday night I am
Getting arrested or bailed out or running from the a stolen cop car.....that I stole after I got bailed out......after getting arrested.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am in your closet right now.......watching.......with my hand in my pants.
You should message me if
Third degree burns turn you on.

You can find the quarter.

You don't mind providing an alibi and/or helping me move a ....carpet.

You feel like getting some kind of wise ass reply.

You actually remember the video I took my pictures from.
The two of us