46Rensselaer, United States
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My self-summary
- I'm a smart ass who has often been mistaken for a dumb ass.

- I'm not the answer to your prayers, or the man of your dreams.

- I'm probably not your worst nightmare either.

"Don't ask me 'bout the shape I'm in.
I can't sing. I ain't pretty. And my legs are thin.
And don't ask me what I think of you.
I might not give the answer that you want me to."
What I’m doing with my life
- Conspiring to overthrow your fears.

- Laying out blue prints for a bridge between myself and your lips.

- Drawing a map that will take me on the scenic route from your lips to your toes.
I’m really good at
- Avoiding serious questions.

- Finger painting with melted chocolate on exposed body parts.

- Dutch ovens.

- Hiding bodies.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I'm a smart ass
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorite color is October.
Six things I could never do without
Math lessons
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Whether or not you caught that sarcastic remark about math lessons.
On a typical Friday night I am
Looking at your profile pic, imagining the filthy things we could be doing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Is that I want to do these filthy things with you.
You should message me if
- You're horny. If you are, set the vibrator on the floor, step away from it slowly, and message me at once. (Unless you're looking at my picture while you're doing it. In that case, message me when you're done).

- You still haven't figured out that I'm the guy your mother warned you about. I love naive girls as much as they love me.

- You snorted as you laughed out loud while reading this, and now have your favorite beverage running out of your nose. It's not exactly sexy, but at least it shows where your heart is.

- You've ever wondered what it was like to have someone eat their dessert off of your body.

- You've ever wondered what it'd be like to be someone's dessert.

NOTE: You should NOT- under any circumstances - message me if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours.
The two of us