45Tucson, United States
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My self-summary
"One of these things is not like the others..."

For starters, I have my own place, a car, and a full-time job. Which shouldn't be that remarkable, but I hear tell that it is. If that's a mark of distinction, however dubious, so be it.

In case you're wondering, "SubGothius", is shorthand for "Gothic SubGenius". The latter boils down to honoring my innate, quirky weirdness (BTW, have you noticed only us weirdos seem to be able to consistently spell "weird" correctly?) and reclaiming my Original Slack; not to be confused with base laziness or sloth, Slack is more about just what, and how much, we can get out of life that we don't have to work nor pay for; even strenuous effort can be Slack, as long as we find it so rewarding that it doesn't seem like "work".

As for the Gothic part, whilst I must forfeit Goth Points to claim it openly, there's no denying what just came naturally to me. At first, I was the only kid I knew of, wearing all-black, waxing quixotic and listening to strangely dark'n'moody music from Europe... until my family moved to another state where, much to my astonishment, I eventually found others like me, so it seemed I'd found my "tribe" at last. "We accept you; we accept you, one of us; one of us!"

If online IQ tests are to be humored, I seem to be at least two standard deviations above average. Suffice to say, this mostly just means I've found truly engaging work and stimulating conversation and companionship are damned hard to come by.

Back in another life, I majored in Philosophy, and while by now I really can't remember much in the way of particular facts from that field, I reckon the point was about forcing my brain to think in ways that forged paths of critical thought and abstract reasoning through the uncharted wilderness of my mind, so those circuits remained as ingrained habits of easy thought. I.e., my way of lazy thinking is now philosophical thinking, and Ethics have proven indispensable in conducting my affairs such that I can always respect myself in the morning. Besides, it was the only major I still found engaging enough to pursue after I'd already soured on Architecture and found that university's Graphic Design program in upheaval. Anywho, having thereby secured my Grownup License, that was enough of that for me; I consider my real education as what came after I left school...

You may notice my Status says "Open relationship". That just means I've been seeing someone who is also seeing others, and I'm free to see others as well, but I'm not really into casual hookups with gals I've just met or hardly know. I reckon this might fit the polyamorous tag, if that were a selection available to choose here. Candid communication about every relationship is essential.
What I’m doing with my life
"Life is what happens to us while we're busy making other plans."
-John Lennon (with whom I share a birthday, tho' I look more like Vladimir Lenin! ;^)

I want to look back on my life as a ripe old granddad with private confidence that in some way I'd made this a better world for others, even if I never get any fame, or fortune, or even credit for it, as long as I'm satisfied with myself in the knowledge of my contributions.

A few years ago, I started working for a local e-commerce startup that provides a super-easy shopping cart system oriented for artists and artisans, indie programmers and musicians, mom'n'pop shops and suchlike to sell their whatnots online. In other words, I get to make my living doing something I love that I'm really good at, by helping other people make their living at doing what they love -- talk about win-win!

Perhaps I'm not as "accomplished" (whatever that means!) as others might expect one "should" be at my age, but I've never been one to give a damn what others expect or think of me (short of any slanderous rumors!), and I think I'm more content with my life, such as it is. I may not have everything I want, but at least I want everything I have, and I'd rather wait for exactly what I really want than ever settle for good-enough.

Life is a limited time offer while supplies last! That's what makes it so valuable, and makes what we do with every precious moment we are given of it so crucially important while we have it. Act now before you miss out!
I’m really good at
Giving: an ear, a shoulder, perspective, insight, advice, assistance, hugs, backrubs & massages, makeout sessions, touch, head, orgasms (not necessarily in that exact order).

Otherwise, I'm good at finding ways to do anything other than the typical way; if there's a normal way to do anything, you can expect that I'm prolly doing it some other way, and with good reason that I could likely explain in detail if asked. I may not even be aware there is a "usual" way of doing whatever it is. Sometimes, however, it's just for the perverse satisfaction of being different or contrary for their own sake. I prefer to remain anomalous.

I've always been better at in-the-moment tactics than long-term strategy. Seems every time I cook up a plan, circumstances change so drastically by the time I put it into action that I might as well have not bothered with the plan in the first place; indeed, often I've totally missed realizing opportunities because I was distracted by following a different plan! Some time ago, I set a goal of having no goals, because that would mean I'd already accomplished any that mattered, and decided to focus more on impromptu tactics, staying aware in the present moment to recognize what to do, and how best to do it, when the time is ripe on the spur of the moment. At least, that's my plan.
The first things people usually notice about me
A cross between a rhinocerous and an elephant -- elephino!

However, people have remarked upon: my +5 Hat, my pale blue eyes, my smile, my deep and mellow voice (suitable for stage or radio, just don't say I have "a face for radio"! :^), my idiosyncratic accent and diction, my Zen demeanor, my all-black wardrobe, my bright green socks...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
  • Robert Anton Wilson: everything he ever wrote (RIP, "Pope Bob"!), esp. the Illuminatus! trilogy (w/ Robert Shea), Quantum Psychology and Prometheus Rising;
  • Terry Pratchett: Discworld series, Good Omens w/ Neil Gaiman ("The apocalypse has never been funnier!");
  • Peter J. Carroll: Liber Null & Psychonaut, Liber Kaos, PsyberMagick;
  • Philip Toshio Sudo: Zen Guitar;
  • Ultraculture Journal One: highly recommended for those into unorthodox esoteric/occult/magick/pagan/heathen subject matter.

  • Made in Heaven: my sappy, spiritually romantic heart;
  • Frankie Starlight: my quirky and cynical yet ever-optimistic romantic heart;
  • Solaris: my sci-fi metaphysically romantic heart;
  • Mozart and the Whale: my socially-oblivious nerdy romantic heart;
  • The Matrix: just plain tasty for former philosophy majors like me;
  • Fight Club: what I love most about this movie is the way it so thoroughly, painstakingly subverted itself -- a deliberately misleading marketing campaign suckered Joe Sixpack into expecting a macho action-violence spectacle which instead undermined the very concepts of machismo, action, violence, spectacle, mainstream culture, counterculture, conformity, rebellion, and even undermined all its own apparent messages by the end, leaving no clear lesson other than debunking and stripping away all the obvious and easy answers in life, hopefully leaving you freer to make up your own mind. IMHO, anyone who found validation of any particular ideals in this movie simply wasn't paying attention and fell prey to confirmation bias.

  • I just got a nifty amp to go with the guitar I've had for several years, so lately I've resumed noodling around and experimenting with that again more, not really into playing others' existing songs, just seeing what I can create on my own;
  • Lately I've started getting into the post-rock genre; for this, I like listening to FarPastPost (pretty diverse though some tracks get a bit too metal-howly for my tastes);
  • Gothic, Industrial, EBM, Electro, Synthpop, Futurepop, Darkwave, and related genres; for this, I like listening to (though some tracks get a bit too crass or abrasive for my taste);
  • Clandestine Consecration, my custom Pandora station -- it's pretty much a fustercluck of everything I like, jammed into the Pandora blender together, so if you give it a listen and don't like the first thing or two you hear (happens to me too, still fine-tuning it yet), just skip to the next song or reload the station, and it'll prolly be completely different;
  • My all-time favorite band is Fields of the Nephilim and its various spinoffs: Nefilim, NFD, Rubicon, & Last Rites;
  • I listen to KUAZ for NPR and some Jazz, and KXCI especially on Monday, Thursday and Friday nights.

  • Grocer: Trader Joe's;
  • Breakfast: I cook a mean batch of what one friend called "gourmet oatmeal" (actually multigrain oats, barley, rye and wheat with nutmeg, cinnamon, walnuts, raisins and other dried fruits, topped with brown sugar and real maple syrup), but on workdays I usually wind up grabbing a fruit-yogurt-granola cup along with my coffee from Epic;
  • Dining: I like a variety of local mom'n'pop shops and ethnic joints that offer honest, down-home cookin'. Beyond the many excellent Sonoran outfits locally, I frequent the spots along 4th Ave for late lunches, and I've grown fond of Miss Saigon for Vietnamese and Yoshimatsu for Japanese (their Sushimatsu room is the best I've tried locally for splurging on sushi!), but still looking for a good, cheap'n'cheerful Thai joint... any suggestions?
Six things I could never do without
Taking this question a bit less literally:
(read: Things I'd really rather not hafta make do without)
  • Anti-histamines (fortunately, not often);
  • My laptop;
  • The Webertubes;
  • National Public Radio;
  • All my wonderfully nerdy/geeky/dorky friends;
  • My 1979 Lancia Beta Zagato spider: oh sure, I may look at others on the street or available on the market, but in the end I always like mine better! (That's surely not the only thing I'd like to feel that way about...)

(Yes, I realize that's more than six things. Problem?)

Finally, a few things I could totally do without:
  • Allergies (seasonal and cats -- hm, can you tell I first wrote this during hayfever season?);
  • Television (I don't even own one);
  • Celebrity Magazines;
  • The Rumor Mill;
  • The Fscking Mall;
  • Mal*Wart (seriously, even general horror incarnate aside, the last several times I was daft enough to try going there, they never had whatever I went there for, so I left empty-handed. They have failed me for the last time!).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Honestly, starting a family -- more to the point, wondering if it isn't too late. All I really ever wanted to be when I grew up was a good lover, husband and father, and while I have the first part of that well-accomplished by all accounts, the latter roles have proven harder to land. I've been ready for it personally (if not always financially) for quite some time now, but of course, first I need to sort out the matter of finding a suitable lifemate...

Aside from that, or perhaps just meanwhile, I'm just trying to make some actual meaning in my life. I know I'm not here to satisfy my own petty wants, nor to make stacks of green rectangles for myself or for bigwigs, nor to express my ego creatively or otherwise, nor to inflict my will or whim upon others or the world at large. It seems I am here to meet certain needs, my own only insofar as necessary to help meet those of others. The world has produced me as I am, that I may in return produce something that only I could offer; I just wish the world would be more clear and direct in demanding of me exactly whatsoever that is! [Sigh.] Maybe I should just stop wanting that?

I sometimes wonder whether I may be doing it already without realizing it, in a way that has nothing to do with a career nor even any deliberate activity. What if my offhand remarks, the way I treat friends and strangers, my peculiar appearance as myself out in the world, even my mere presence in certain situations at certain times and places, influences others, who influence others, ad infinitum, producing a sort of "butterfly effect" that is actually changing the world for the better in ways I cannot even know or consciously direct? Perhaps I do not need to know my mission in order to fulfill it, like I don't need to know where the road I'm on goes in order for it to get me there.
On a typical Friday night I am
If it's the first Friday of the month, lately I usually join a few friends at The Loft Cinema for First Friday Shorts, hosted by Max Cannon of Red Meat comic infamy. Contestants bring in their short films and get at least 3 minutes of play, at which point the audience can gong terrible films off the screen and out of the running for the night's grand prize.

Other Friday evenings, I may be at Surly Wench if there's a Ritual club night or other gothdustrial event happening there, though usually these occur on Saturdays. Occasionally I may also venture to their Fineline Revisited nights there, now that it's not so heavy on "Gothin' to the Oldies" anymore, as lately I'm more into 21st-Century dark dance music and less than keen to wax nostalgic for a time in my life I didn't much care for the first time around; luckily, my life now is better than it's ever been, so living in the moment is generally a good moment indeed in which to live.

Otherwise, or for that matter most any other night, I'm likely to be seeking the company of friends and ample applications of coffee at Black Crown Coffee Co. (formerly aka Safehouse) -- not least because it's actually open after 9 or 10pm when I'm most inclined to venture out, and yet I don't have to contend with a bunch of obnoxious drunks there.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
"Good ol' Charlie Brown" grew up wondering whatever became of that Little Red-Haired Girl... and whether she wonders back? "How can we lose when we're being so sincere?"

I've been fascinated by naturally red-haired girls at least since I was 12, not that I harbor any preconceptions or expectations of what redheads are supposedly like, just that I recognize my own reaction to their presence, like an uncanny sort of deja vu...

Now that I'm dating a redhead (albeit non-exclusively), that yen is met for the time being, though of course I'd welcome more in my life (Too much is always better than not enough!) and am open to other options -- variety being the proverbial.
You should message me if want to both contact and impress me, all in one swell foop!

Srsly, do gals actually message guys on here? See if you can smuggle a communique past the gal-to-guy message embargo.

I'm rather daft at reading subtle signals, so a healthy measure of blithe candor is always welcome. Seeing as I respect, admire and appreciate blunt and forward women whom I can regard as my equal, you can demonstrate some huevos (dig that word; it works for both sexes, each in their own way... :^) by daring to make a bold move. Go ahead, just try to blow my mind; I dare you.

Definitely contact me if:

  • You're a brainy, eclectic, brash and genuine red-haired gal;
  • You're a brainy, eclectic, brash and genuine gal of any stripe who doesn't mind that I have a thing for red-haired gals;
  • You want to be appreciated for being yourself, exactly as you are;
  • You're open to non-exclusive dating, where everything is above board and open to frank and honest discussion as mature adults.

Geeks, freaks, nerds, dorks and weirdos welcome; no normals, please. :^b
The two of us